I really miss Mr. Engaged

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

So idk I have been thinking about him a lot and I know its just my super loneliness and horniness kicking in but I thought about texting him soon. Only issue is that its been a little over a month since he stopped answering my texts so I feel like it would be awkward to text him but at the same time I miss having people to text me and I really want sex but I have no one to do it with.. At the same time I don't want to add a new sex partner because I'm trying to keep my number low I don't know what I want.. I said I was going to not have sex until I'm in a legit relationship but that was like a week ago and it's way too hard and I have no idea when ill get in a relationship. I am just super lost. I feel like maybe I can text him for the holidays and he will maybe respond. I want to text him and my ex and maybe one will respond to me.

[CarrieT]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

[Hawaii50]

Stop it, you stop it right now! move on.

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

 

Ok I get it not a good idea. I haven't done it. I guess I won't. I'm just super lonely like SUPER. I have no guys in my life at all right now and that's so weird to me.

 

My therapist said I have 2 options I can focus on finishing schoo and graduating and what comes next or I can keep trying to do the dating and stuff.. I guess I should focus on school but its so hard because I'm getting involved to meet guys but I'm not meeting them. She told me I could try in bars and like going up to them and talking but that so scary what is they think I'm ugly or don't want to talk to me?

Edited October 27, 2012 by ImperfectionisBeauty

[Pierre]

So idk I have been thinking about him a lot and I know its just my super loneliness and horniness kicking in but I thought about texting him soon. Only issue is that its been a little over a month since he stopped answering my texts so I feel like it would be awkward to text him but at the same time I miss having people to text me and I really want sex but I have no one to do it with.. At the same time I don't want to add a new sex partner because I'm trying to keep my number low I don't know what I want.. I said I was going to not have sex until I'm in a legit relationship but that was like a week ago and it's way too hard and I have no idea when ill get in a relationship. I am just super lost. I feel like maybe I can text him for the holidays and he will maybe respond. I want to text him and my ex and maybe one will respond to me.

 

You obviously have a huge need for external validation and attention, but I give you credit from trying to control that. Many women like you end up with loser after loser because they want validation. So I congratulate you from thinking about this.

 

There is nothing wrong with being alone. In fact, maybe you can learn to be happy on your own instead by being happy because some guy wants to do you.

 

So try this:

 

Cherish the idea of being alone and explore other avenues to make you happy. In the end mo one can make you happy, but yourself. No one in the planet can make another person happy 24/7.

 

If you are horny masturbate. That will have no side effects. Whereas hooking up with that loser will drive you insane. You know quite well the guy is a loser. So ask yourself. Why do I want this loser?

[Pierre]

My therapist said I have 2 options I can focus on finishing schoo and graduating and what comes next or I can keep trying to do the dating and stuff.. I guess I should focus on school but its so hard because I'm getting involved to meet guys but I'm not meeting them. She told me I could try in bars and like going up to them and talking but that so scary what is they think I'm ugly or don't want to talk to me?

 

It seems 99% of women here have a therapist. I don't know if it works because most therapists tell patients what they want to hear.

[Hawaii50]

if you can't do it alone, you can't do it with anyone else, either- facts of the matter.

[alexandria35]

You obviously have a huge need for external validation and attention, but I give you credit from trying to control that. Many women like you end up with loser after loser because they want validation. So I congratulate you from thinking about this.

 

There is nothing wrong with being alone. In fact, maybe you can learn to be happy on your own instead by being happy because some guy wants to do you.

 

So try this:

 

Cherish the idea of being alone and explore other avenues to make you happy. In the end mo one can make you happy, but yourself. No one in the planet can make another person happy 24/7.

 

If you are horny masturbate. That will have no side effects. Whereas hooking up with that loser will drive you insane. You know quite well the guy is a loser. So ask yourself. Why do I want this loser?

 

I very much agree with this post. I don't believe that your desperate need to hook up with Someone/Anyone is due to a biological need for sex. We all have biological desires for sex. I think your desire is a psychological one based on a need for constant attention and validation. Pierre is correct in that people who have this problem but don't deal with it in a healthy manner will usually end up screwing one loser after another.

 

Don't you have any other interest outside of getting attention from the opposite sex? There are pros and cons to being in a relationship and pros and cons to being single. I say embrace the pros of whatever your status is at the time. If you absolutely must have someone of the opposite sex for validation at least take the trouble to meet someone new and single. Don't call up an ex or some married/taken guy. That's only going to leave you feeling hollow.

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

I very much agree with this post. I don't believe that your desperate need to hook up with Someone/Anyone is due to a biological need for sex. We all have biological desires for sex. I think your desire is a psychological one based on a need for constant attention and validation. Pierre is correct in that people who have this problem but don't deal with it in a healthy manner will usually end up screwing one loser after another.

 

Don't you have any other interest outside of getting attention from the opposite sex? There are pros and cons to being in a relationship and pros and cons to being single. I say embrace the pros of whatever your status is at the time. If you absolutely must have someone of the opposite sex for validation at least take the trouble to meet someone new and single. Don't call up an ex or some married/taken guy. That's only going to leave you feeling hollow.

 

What are the pros to being single? I'm not asking to be stupid or anything I just don't see any real pros. I feel like everything I do now as a single would be a million times better with someone else. I would have someone to spend all my time with

[Pierre]

What are the pros to being single? I'm not asking to be stupid or anything I just don't see any real pros. I feel like everything I do now as a single would be a million times better with someone else. I would have someone to spend all my time with

 

 

It is OK to like company, but don't rely on the company to make you happy. I repeat: No one can make you happy 24/7. In your quest to not be alone you will end up with a loser.

 

Furthermore, players and cheating MM have a special radar for women like you and they immediately say what you want to hear. Your needs are so large that you eat up all the BS they tell you. A self assured intrinsically woman would never consider the loser Mr. Engaged.

 

If you want a BF then be extremely careful and picky about it. If I am not mistaken you love men that have the loser unintelligent look. Yes, I remember your post. You need to stop that! Concentrate on the good guys and don't lower your standards.

[MissBee]

So idk I have been thinking about him a lot and I know its just my super loneliness and horniness kicking in but I thought about texting him soon. Only issue is that its been a little over a month since he stopped answering my texts so I feel like it would be awkward to text him but at the same time I miss having people to text me and I really want sex but I have no one to do it with.. At the same time I don't want to add a new sex partner because I'm trying to keep my number low I don't know what I want.. I said I was going to not have sex until I'm in a legit relationship but that was like a week ago and it's way too hard and I have no idea when ill get in a relationship. I am just super lost. I feel like maybe I can text him for the holidays and he will maybe respond. I want to text him and my ex and maybe one will respond to me.

 

You sound like me about 5 years ago.

 

I relied heavily on validation from men. I needed to constantly have a harem of men stroking my ego. I needed to always have a back up and a back up of a back up. I would be texting, phoning and going out with even 5 guys at the same time. I wasn't having sex with them though, but nevertheless, I didn't feel good unless my phone was being blown up by men and unless I felt I had men to choose from. I liked my "options" and then it all stopped. Like you, I was frantic. It felt so odd to not have anyone texting or calling or going out with or not to have a sex buddy....and like you, I was also involved with a guy with a gf (one was casual, where I didn't love him or want to date him, I just like the sex and attention every now and again).

 

In any case...I made a conscious decision to get rid of ALL the guys I had as back ups and to text and sext and flirt with. I realized how pointless and empty it was and I realized most of these men were men I would NEVER be serious about....some actually annoyed me...but I was so lonely and desperate for the wrong kind of attention. I got fed up with myself and just deleted everyone and it was hard initially...but one of the best things. Reading you wanting to text a man who has stopped replying to you and hoping he will throw you a crumb because it's the holiday makes me cringe. I remember the guy with the gf, how although I didn't love him or want a relationship, I would feel soooo rejected when I did want him and he couldn't or wouldn't be there. I'd remember lonely Friday or Saturday evenings when I wanted a man around so much and I'd make small talk and try to get him to come over...and tried to "watch a movie" which of course led to and then he left....it was sooo not what I wanted most times. Hooking up when you are lonely is a bad idea.

 

 

Point is: listen to your therapist. These men are just a distraction and aren't even good ones. Focus on school and focus on ways to be truly happy without having taken men or some okay guy texting you. We all get lonely, but the type of gaping, chronic loneliness I used to have where I needed some man, even ones I knew were wrong for me, texting or going out with to fill, is no longer there and it is soooooo freeeeing! I'm happy with myself and when I do get lonely, it fades and it's not that deep loneliness to where I date/go out with questionable men to cure it.

[veggirl]

Why do you want sex so badly? I thought you don't even orgasm from it...?

 

Do you have a vibrator?

 

Geepers!

 

I'm guessing though that this actually has nothing to do with the physical act of sex or wanting pure sex.

[alexandria35]

What are the pros to being single? I'm not asking to be stupid or anything I just don't see any real pros. I feel like everything I do now as a single would be a million times better with someone else. I would have someone to spend all my time with

 

Well first of all, if you ever meet and fall in love with a well adjusted adult male, he is not going to want to spend ALL of his time with you. Secondly he will not be impressed if you want to spend ALL of your time with him. Because that usually looks needy and unhealthy to emotionally healthy people.

 

Do you really never enjoy time alone? Just doing things that you like to do that may difficult to do should you have company. Like reading a book? Shopping for girl things? Writing? Practicing a hobby? Exercising?

 

Also why is the company of men the only company you find fullfilling and worthwhile? Don't you enjoy the company of friends? family? pets? Sure it can get a little lonely to go out and do things by yourself but what's wrong with doing things with people who you are not having sex with?

[MissBee]

What are the pros to being single? I'm not asking to be stupid or anything I just don't see any real pros. I feel like everything I do now as a single would be a million times better with someone else. I would have someone to spend all my time with

 

Omg you really do sound like me back in the day...

 

I remember saying that if I had a bf life would be better and I would be more motivated and I would even do better in school because I'd do all my work so that I'd be able to hang out with him.... Well a month or so later I did get a bf, it was lovely at first then a disaster that resulted in heartbreak and me realizing how much I wanted a relationship to escape from myself and to fix my life versus the healthy attitude of having it as a supplement/icing on the cake.

 

That's the problem imperfect. People with good relationships are usually those who don't feel like they NEED it. They don't want to spend "all their time" with this person, they actually value themselves and can be single. People who can't be single, who ALWAYS want to be with someone, who feel a relationship is about spending "all their time" with someone usually choose poor relationships because they're pretty much desperate for it OR they are so smothering in relationships (spending "all their time") that they end quickly.

 

I have been single and been in relationships and there are pros and cons to both. When I am a fulfilled and happy single person, I choose better men and those relationships are a lot more fulfilling and healthy. When you can be happy being single but also want a partner as a BONUS you're in a healthy place. When you act like being single is some crime and if you truly cannot fathom how life can be worth living and be good without being in a relationship....that means you probably shouldn't be in one, as your mindset is not healthy and you use relationships to define you and fulfill you.

Edited October 27, 2012 by MissBee

[whichwayisup]

I would have someone to spend all my time with

 

I don't spend all my time with my H, even when we were dating, we each (and still do) have things we like to do without each other. We both need to have our space! it's not healthy to rely on one person for ALL your (general you) happiness.

[firstandlast]

Do you really never enjoy time alone? Just doing things that you like to do that may difficult to do should you have company. Like reading a book? Shopping for girl things? Writing? Practicing a hobby? Exercising?

 

This is an excellent point. Not only is it OK to be alone sometimes -- it's necessary to our personal development.

 

I do understand the feelings of loneliness. I would suggest you get involved with something that puts you around people, both men a women. It's less intimidating than the bar scene, good for you and you might make some real, lasting friendships.

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

I don't really have hobbies, BUT I am joining a gym soon. I do have things I like doing like reading and shopping but it is always nice to have someone to text while you do all those things. As far as the sex, I like sex I just haven't ever came from it BUT I like feeling like someone likes me and wants me enough to have sex it makes me feel good.

 

MissBee, did you just delete those guys and then it got better? I feel like I could do that with the guys I hook up with but I still have my ex in there and I can't delete him its like too much closure you know??

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

I don't spend all my time with my H, even when we were dating, we each (and still do) have things we like to do without each other. We both need to have our space! it's not healthy to rely on one person for ALL your (general you) happiness.

 

I kind of think that is part of the reason my ex and I didn't work, I wanted to be with him ALL THE TIME and idk I mean he could have told me though instead of dumping me.

[firstandlast]

I don't really have hobbies, BUT I am joining a gym soon. I do have things I like doing like reading and shopping but it is always nice to have someone to text while you do all those things. As far as the sex, I like sex I just haven't ever came from it BUT I like feeling like someone likes me and wants me enough to have sex it makes me feel good.

 

MissBee, did you just delete those guys and then it got better? I feel like I could do that with the guys I hook up with but I still have my ex in there and I can't delete him its like too much closure you know??

 

Consider hobbies that involve other people -- a running group, book club, volunteering, etc. No, it's not the same thing as a boyfriend, but I think that would go a long way in mitigating your loneliness.

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

He chose to stop answering your texts. If you have any self-respect, you won't text him. If he wants you, he'll come to you. If he comes to you, and he's still engaged or has a girlfiend, tell him not to contact you again until he is single and desires a relationship with you.

He is never going to not be with his sons mom (fiancee) they set a wedding date last week I don't want a relationship with him (I want a relationship with someone but not him) I doubt that even if I text him things will work out better now then they did last time. So I guess I won't. OLD has seriously failed me I can't do that again lol

[taya]

He chose to stop answering your texts. If you have any self-respect, you won't text him. If he wants you, he'll come to you. If he comes to you, and he's still engaged or has a girlfiend, tell him not to contact you again until he is single and desires a relationship with you. And it doesn't really matter that you want to keep your "number" low. If you want to have a relationship, go out and start going to social events and meeting people. Sign up for an online dating service if you want-just watch out for the many sharks and players on those. Eventually, you'll meet a man that wants to have a relationship with you. This loser that is engaged is not worth your time.

 

 

i agree he stop answering your text i know its hard truse me i have been there dont make a fool out of your self or lose your self respect i know its hard as hell but you bettter fight this fight maybe he will come back maybe not but if you keep texting him it will push him further away beause he will be thinking you crazy for sure ..so stop it girl i mean stop it i would try to find someone eles now move on so much good men out there dont lose your self worth over a man....

[taya]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no

 

lol with so much nos i dont know how can she text him now

[ImperfectionisBeauty]

What about girl friends? Don't you have any women that you are close to? Some of the most fun I've ever had involved me and my best friend.

 

I have a few close girl friends and I have a lot of fun with them

[Pierre]

As far as the sex, I like sex I just haven't ever came from it BUT I like feeling like someone likes me and wants me enough to have sex it makes me feel good.

 

 

Wow! You are a textbook of someone that craves external validation. If a man wants you for sex you feel validated. No wonder you like all those guys with tattoos and no education. All they want to do is have sex with you and they are obvious about it. You dislike the nice nerdy men because they don't look at you with those eyes that say "I want to f**** you". Whenever you are desired you feel great and validated --------- and given them sex.

 

The sad thing is that you are anorgasmic. Amazingly so anorgasmic women can be quite promiscuous. They keep looking for the big O in the wrong places.

 

You are getting very good advice, but in my experience women that need heavy duty external validation never change. Some can be lawyers and have a lot of success and yet they will have crappy low self esteem and need validation.

 

You need to print your threads and review them with your psychologist. Perhaps with intense therapy you could do better.

 

Nevertheless, I see a lot of positives:

 

You verbalize your need for external validation and you recognize that by having sex over and over again with these losers you are going nowhere. I am proud that you said you rather keep your number low.

[CarrieT]

I have a few close girl friends and I have a lot of fun with them

 

Spend more time with them.

 

Honestly - as I have said before - the exuding desperation for a relationship is what others will see in you as the huge turn-off. It seeps out of your pores and scares guys away. They will see only a clingy, desperate girl and they will just run away.

 

Somehow resigning yourself to relaxing and enjoying who you are, what you have, and your future is the only way you'll be prepared for a relationship when/if it presents itself. Until then, you won't be able to attract anyone other than those looking for an easy lay.