budd98 Posted August 1, 2004 Posted August 1, 2004 I have been broken up for a little over 2 weeks now and I have finally seen my ex again since the break. It was not planned to see eachother. We are from different cities and I was in the same one as her this weekend for work. Anyways, when we saw eachother it was very awkward. Shook hands and that was it. Then she talked to my old roommate and told him she wanted to talk to me. So when the bar was almost closing we started talking and she told her ride (some new guy friends) to leave so we could keep talking. So we get back to her place and talked a lot. She said don't be surprised because all of my pictures were off the walls. She then asked me if I seriously thought we could ever get married. She also said that she could see us together in the future with kids and things like that. So I spent the night, but nothing happened. She wanted to cuddle all night. Then we talked more in the morning and said she loved me more then anyone else. She told me that I was the best catch ever. She said that she was'nt ready to get back together though and was'nt ready to stop dating. She did go on dates in the past 2 weeks and said that one of them was pretty amazing. I know I should let things go and move on with my life, but I really do love this girl. She told me some flaws about this new guy that she already did'nt like too. So my question is this, what do you think is the best thing to do to get her over this stage she is in? Do you think I should just tell her to keep dating people and explore her options and that everything will happen for a reason? Or should I just tell her to leave me alone and don't make contact with me? I just need some help cause this is killing me.
Blah Toolz Posted August 1, 2004 Posted August 1, 2004 Originally posted by budd98 So my question is this, what do you think is the best thing to do to get her over this stage she is in? Do you think I should just tell her to keep dating people and explore her options and that everything will happen for a reason? Or should I just tell her to leave me alone and don't make contact with me? I just need some help cause this is killing me. The problem is, there is really nothing you can do to get her over the stage that she is in. If you try to force her past this stage, then you'll be doing more harm than good. Tell her that you love her a lot, but you want her to do what she needs to do. Smile, and walk away man. You're doing no good to yourself by being strung along like a puppy dog. Don't tell her to leave you alone... but stop making contact with her. In my opinion, if you tell the person you're going to initiate no contact, then it defeats some of the purpose. Just stop making contact, and make her wonder. Get on with your life, bro. If she comes around, then she comes around... but she has to come to the decision herself.
tizmos Posted August 1, 2004 Posted August 1, 2004 How can she say she loves you and that you are a great catch, but still want space? How long were you guys going out before the break? Why did you break up? It seems like she's confused and wants to experience other things while having you on the back burner. There is no such thing as a clean break. The best I think you can do is call her and tell her that she's really messing with you and that if she really does want to be with you, she should. I mean that's really crappy for her to cuddle with you and tell you how much she loves you (not to mention talking about an amazing date she had). I know you probably love this girl, but sometimes they need to know what they are giving up to realize what they really want. Be strong and good luck.
Fayebelle Posted August 1, 2004 Posted August 1, 2004 That was perfectly worded. See above post- awsome advice.
b18bme Posted August 1, 2004 Posted August 1, 2004 If she needs space you need to respect that. Tell her that you really care alot about her and want her to be happy and you hope that her happiness involves you. Don't come out and say please stop calling me, but instead just stop calling her. Try and play hard to get when she calls don't asnwer right away, call her back the next day or something. When you do talk don't talk about your relationship be there as more of a friend and keep it light. You need to make her wonder and think that she is gonna be missing out on you and that you can and will move on either with or without her. Trust me on this one though you do not want to invade the space she is requesting I did this and it really pushed my ex further and further away. Now that I don't attempt to call or contact her in anyway she has called me twice this week alone. I don't think she is gonna wanna get back with me but atleast it makes me feel in control again and it helps me get over her.
Fayebelle Posted August 1, 2004 Posted August 1, 2004 It is a way for you to move on with your life. Basing a reconciliation on games is starting your relationship fresh based on lies, deceit, and manipulation. Is that the man you want to be for any woman? I truly hope not.
Author budd98 Posted August 2, 2004 Author Posted August 2, 2004 Thank you for all the great advice, it really helps. I did meet her for 2 hours today at a restraunt to talk. It was very awkward. I told her that I should'nt have come to see her. It was killing me to be there as a friend. Anyways, we made small talk first and then got into what she was thinking. She keeps telling me that she sees me in the future with her and that nobody compares to me. She said that she has gone on a few dates recently and that they don't compare to how great I am. Well, if that is the case then why does'nt she just be with me?? She also said that she called her mom and asked for advice as to what she should do because her mom was just like her at that age. My ex said she can't make her mind up about anything in life anymore and just doesn't know what to do about anything. She also talked about how guys have been asking her out on dates and telling her how beautiful she is and stuff. She also told me that I new some of the guys. Why would she tell me that stuff? She also cried for awhile too. Now the situation is that I am going out of town for 2 weeks to work and then be back in her town for the weekend. Well she said that I should go have fun and when I come back to just see what happens. She also said that she isn't going to call me, but I am welcome to call her anytime I miss her or feel like calling. She said that she didn't want to bother me. We hugged and she gave me a kiss on the cheek. That was the end of it. So now I wonder if I should e-mail her to tell her that I respect her wishes and that I want to see her happy? Should I not call her for the next 2 weeks and see what happens? I know she loves me and thinks of me as her future, but I just want to try and understand how much time she might need. Oh and we dated for 3 years and she broke it off. She is 22 and I am 24. We broke up because she loved me, but was'nt in love with me. Otherwise, has feelings for other guys. This is the second time she has done this. we broke up last summer for 2 months and she begged to get back together.
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