bolase Posted October 27, 2012 Posted October 27, 2012 (edited) Well, I'm not sure what to do. My ex texted, asking if I wanted to go to a concert. I do like the band but I also like my ex a little (ex from way back - 4 years ago), have only seen him sporadically as we don't contact each other unless theres mutual friends involved usually. No great desire to reunite but, you know, interest. He then texted to say sorry, he got us tickets, but his friend (a lady) bought him tickets months ago and he forgot. He went on to say the best option was for me to find someone else to go with (I'm feeling annoyed at this point), and if I don't find someone his friend can find someone else. As a last option he could on sell our tickets. As 2 of these options were not good options for me, not that pleased about the situation. I realize he made an honest mistake. None of my friends here are really into that style of music, so I couldn't ask them to pay for such an expensive concert. I told him this, and (like a whiney ex, lol - though I am not a whiner normally) that I'd feel a tad bad - he should go with his friend who got him a ticket, and on sell our tickets. He comes back and says "she's totally chilled about it. she can take her sister" so now if I brush it back again, Ill seem dramatic. The truth is, I like him more than the band, clearly he was more into seeing the band, and him asking me to go look for another person as the best option, kinda took the shine off it - Im not motivated to go any more. I'm feeling quite irritated, both at childish self and my friend(ex) :/ What should I do? Edited October 27, 2012 by bolase
Ami1uwant Posted October 27, 2012 Posted October 27, 2012 Do you want to see the band or not? If not I bet her sister can find someone to go with. Also he could have bought these tic before they started to date so they happened to have two extra tickets.
Author bolase Posted October 27, 2012 Author Posted October 27, 2012 I don't really mind about the band - I'm disappointed.
CC12 Posted October 27, 2012 Posted October 27, 2012 He comes back and says "she's totally chilled about it. she can take her sister" so now if I brush it back again, Ill seem dramatic. So you're still invited to go to the concert, but you'll be attending with the other girl's sister? Is that right? Who paid for the tickets? If you do go, would the four of you be sitting/standing together at the concert? Would you all ride there together?
Author bolase Posted October 27, 2012 Author Posted October 27, 2012 (edited) He would expect me to pay I assume. I'd be sitting with him, and his friend would be with her sister, if I said yes, BUT he's already told me he would prefer if I could find someone to go with (so he could go with his friend), and if that didn't work out, his friend could bring her sister, and he'd still go with me. I guess, Im annoyed that I was asked to a concert as his date - sort of as we have a romantic history and don't spend time one on one - then this happened and the main reason I wanted to go was to see him. I know that I am being a bit petty, but I don't really want to go. This means he has to sell our tickets, though :/ We'd be in completely separate groups of 2 as they were booked separately.. and no not hanging together..his friend was annoyed when she found out that he had booked tickets with me as well, obviously. Edited October 27, 2012 by bolase
CC12 Posted October 27, 2012 Posted October 27, 2012 No, I'd be sitting with him, his friend would be with her sister. Okay, so you and he would sitting apart from her and her sister. That might not be too bad. Your intention was to spend one-on-one time with him, and you'd still get to do that. But frankly, he told me he would prefer if I could find someone to go with (so he could go with his friend) That would have been the easiest way to make this uncomfortable situation work, yeah. You're understandably framing this as "He would rather go with her than with me!" But try to see it in the best possible light, that he just screwed up and he's trying to fix it. He did make a prior commitment, and he's sticking with it (rightfully so) and also trying to give you options and make sure you're included if you want to be. I guess, Im annoyed that I was asked to a concert, then this happened and the main reason I want dot go was to spend time with this guy, when its clearly not what he was interested in It doesn't necessarily mean he's not interested in spending time with you. He actually seems to still want you to go. He's tried several different ways of getting you there. I totally understand why you're annoyed and how this "took the shine off" of the event. If you don't want to go, you don't have to, and it wouldn't be childish to politely decline the invitation. Instead, you can suggest taking him to lunch the next day or something. 1
CC12 Posted October 27, 2012 Posted October 27, 2012 (edited) We'd be in completely separate groups of 2 as they were booked separately.. and no not hanging together..his friend was annoyed when she found out that he had booked tickets with me as well, obviously. Oh wait, look at that. So he's willing to somewhat blow off and annoy the friend he originally made plans with so he can go with you. Eh, you know, etiquette-wise, that's not really cool of him, but that says to me that he prioritizes you over other social obligations (her.) Not that it's a competition, or anything. I'm just pointing it out. Edited October 27, 2012 by CC12
Author bolase Posted October 27, 2012 Author Posted October 27, 2012 Thanks heaps CC. I very politely declined, and though I feel guilty, and though he knows beyond doubt it's because I viewed this (to begin with) as a date, I feel better!
amaysngrace Posted October 27, 2012 Posted October 27, 2012 Why'd you bail and why'd you tell him you wanted it to be a date? You just missed out on a good time completely. I would have just graciously accepted and had fun but oh well. No tee shirt for you!
Author bolase Posted October 27, 2012 Author Posted October 27, 2012 I bailed because I'm not excited to go any more, and because I don't want to be the one to site with him when his friend is disappointed she's not sitting with him when she bought them tickets! (event hough he says she is totally relaxed about it, I'm not so sure) I didn't tell him I saw it as a date, but he'd have to be dense not to see it.
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