blutoj Posted October 27, 2012 Posted October 27, 2012 just turned 20 last week, so I am fairly young. My problem is that no matter what, I never seem to get any respect from guys. Or not necessarily respect, I just never seem to matter to guys. Ever. Okay, so I'm posting about this now because something happened earlier, and it just was a repeat of the exact same situation that I am always in. So I have this friend, he's a guy. We have worked together for a while, and have gotten to know each other. I like him, and I could tell that he likes me. There was this community-type function going on that our boss suggested we go to. So this guy said he'd go, and that he'd like to go with me. So on the day of the function, he tells me he is really sorry, but he can't go with me. His excuse was something about the function being too far, him needing to take care of something, and him having to wake up early the next day. I didn't think much of it, so I wen't with some friends and had a good time. When I went in to work yesterday, I find out that he had spent the entire time hanging out with another female co-worker. He doesn't know that I know this. So after this, I really felt hurt. This female co-worker has a boyfriend, and a kid, so it's not as if he was hanging out with her because he's interested in her (maybe) but I don't understand why he would blow me off like that. These two are friends. They are always hanging out on breaks. So it's not like he was hanging out with someone he never saw. But, whatever. What really made me mad was the fact that this is something that happens to me all the time. Whenever I'm in a relationship, I am always unceremoniously dumped by the guy I am seeing, all 4 times. The first two guys were cheating on me with girls they would go on to have deep,meaningful relationships with. The second guy left saying, "It was nice feeling loved by you. Now I can go out and let some other girl know how it feels." And the last one hurt the most. We were together for a year and a half, I thought I had finally found someone great. He was kind, he made me feel special, he always made it clear that he loved me. And then, while I was going through a pretty drastic family crisis, he tells me that he, "no longer wishes to participate." That was it. Haven't heard from him since. Really, how can I have such bad luck with guys? Whenever I do meet somebody new, they always show interest in me--we talk, we text, we IM on Facebook. But after a while, they either ask me to "hook up" to "send sexy pics" or they just stop talking to me. Aside from my four looser ex-boyfriends, I've not been asked out by anyone. I mean, guys do like me, but they never seem to like me enough to actually make an effort with me. I honestly don't think there is anything wrong with me. I'm not ugly. I have a nice complexion, I'm very fit, and I make sure I take care of myself. I don't dress provocatively in any way. I've been told by many of my friends that I have a very chic sense of style. I don't sleep around. I am shy, but other than that, I think I have a nice, bubbly personality. So say my friends... I just don't get it. What am I doing wrong? Is it just luck? I sometimes feel like the only thing I am to guys is someone they can use and objectify. And I know that I can't chalk it up to, "all guys are *********s," because they aren't. I know a lot of girls who have incredible boyfriends, and I have a few guy friends that would rather die then ever mistreat their girl. Idk, any suggestions/ideas/thoughts/concerns? Sorry for the long post.
edward26 Posted October 27, 2012 Posted October 27, 2012 HI .....(i m sorry i dont knw ur name)...now first of all let me tell u that plz stop cursing and blaming yourself because if a girl doesnt find the right guy that doesnt mean there is something wrong with the girl.although it might be the other way round!! I m a guy and i approximately know what an active guy needs and wants ..so i must let you know that all those guys you have come across till now were more or less just the same..!!they wanted a relationship,an excitement in life but frankly speaking they might have never understood the meaning,demands and supplies that a relationship(a serious one ofcourse)carries with itself... For starters,falling in love and hanging around is the best experience in life and if just in the beginning they restrict themselves only to their partners(that means not hanging around with multiple partners),they would prove to be a better lover and a loyal partner,in short,a reliable one!!The kind of guys u have come across,i think that they were neither genuine about their feelings(a confused kind) nor were they ready to face the responsibilities that are present in a relationship.. Secondly,about this guy in your office,i think if he is a real man he should have a face to face discussion with you(ofcourse you deserve an explanation) or else he is just one of those wavering kind of guys who are perplexed even when they have to chose between a girl and a goat! and i would advice you not to get upset because if you go on showing him that he matters to you very much,he will definitely feel that he is doing the right thing because it would make him believe that you are an easy catch. i m just 21 and have had my first break up of a 3 years long relationship last evening,so i think i can guide you well for a better match..one should learn from his or her mistakes!!all the best..just you have to find the right match,...dont go on searching,the best would himself approach ..u just have to wait,maybe God has better plans!!!and yes..be confident about your personality...and sorry for such a long reply!!!god bless u!!!
mammasita Posted October 27, 2012 Posted October 27, 2012 How do you feel about yourself.....honestly?.....and I'm talking about how you feel about yourself other than the bullets you've listed (not ugly, fit....etc). Do you think you deserve the best?
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