josephangel00 Posted October 27, 2012 Posted October 27, 2012 Ok me and my gf have been dating for a few months now. Yesterday we were hanging out and we both were drinking. She offered to take me home while we were resting in the car and I said "no , just let me rest:" than sometime later I still wasn't feeling good than I asked her if she still wants to drive me home. She then tells me " I tried to offer that to you earlier and you said "no", now im tired too and .." than I cut her off and then we got into a arguement. Than things took a drastic turn when I felt like she was attacking me or belittling me and than I started to hit myself (yes I know stupid move) and it totally scared her. Than she drove off that night crying and I upset (while still drunk). Now today she feel like she has caused my angering issues and is still hurt. I know what I did was wrong and I DO TAKE FULL RESPONSIBILITY for my actions. Today she is barely talking to me. I apologized and told her it was all my fault and that I accept the consequences of my actions. All I want to do is correct this and move forward and I don't want her to leave me..... I agreed to get some anger/stress help. I also agree to not drink (which isn't hard cuz im not addicted). After all this Im not sure what to think... I feel I done all I can as far as apologizing, accepting the consequences, etc,,, Is this something that time has to have it's hand in or is it really up to her now? Some advice please and feel free to be blunt .......
spiderowl Posted October 27, 2012 Posted October 27, 2012 (edited) Honestly? It's a bizarre thing to do and I'm not surprised it scared her. Have you done this before? If so, in what circumstances and why? Where did you get the idea from to do this? If you didn't get the idea from anywhere, it sounds like self harm. If someone self harms as a way of dealing with stress or things they can't handle, it's pretty weird for those who are affected by it. You haven't really explained in what way you were not feeling well - is this relevant at all? I think you need to be serious about seeking help for this if you want to reassure your girlfriend. At the moment, she is wondering what on earth she's done that has triggered such an extreme reaction. It may or may not be redeemable. If someone reacted like that to me, even though I understand that people do self harm, it would put me off them. On an emotional level, it feels like emotional blackmail, kind of 'if you upset me, I'm going to freak out and do scary things to make you feel afraid and guilty'. I'm sure you didn't intend that, but that's why you need to seek help. I think if your girlfriend can see that you immediately want to do something about it, she will feel more reassured than if you deny that it's a problem. You are already doing something by admitting responsibility for your own actions. You can build on this. Edited October 27, 2012 by spiderowl
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