Met a guy -- contact "rules"?

[NoMoreJerks]

All the rest of this thread is devoted to your desperate attempts to create something out of nothing.

Actually -- I am not creating something out of "nothing". That nothing happens to be a guy playing cat -mouse catch me if you can games with me. Sure, I don't know him. But that is the point. Based on his behaviour, do I want to know him? No. That is all. It makes no sense that I am being blamed for not wanting to know him, though -- because supposedly I didn't give him the benefit of the doubt. Who is making a big deal out of nothing? Not I.

 

"Once bitten twice shy"? You can't get "bitten" when nothing is happening.

That's right -- but you can avoid jumping into something without assessing your chances of getting bitten. That is the point. I am careful with men now. Any man who disrespects me and my time is potentially going to "bite". Consequently, I don't want to have anything to do with him.

 

You can't get "bitten" from spending some time with a person you are interested in, getting to know them a little bit. Which HAS NOT EVEN HAPPENED. AT ALL.

Sure you can -- they can string you along, court you, play all sorts of games with your head, with the sole intention of getting you into the sack. Been there, done that. Seen that happen so many times with others, too. Jumping through flaming hoops is not even a good filter for weeding out the bad guys who want ONS from the good guys who want commitment. A man who is desperate for sex with someone, will jump through a lot of hoops to get sex. That is often underestimated. And then there are those who do not even make the effort to court you, but still want to eat the cake -- this is the category of low-life men that this guy falls into. He wants the sex, but can't even be bothered to make the effort, wants me to act all desperate and chase after him and drive up 70 km to the middle of ****ing nowhere, because he seems to think he is some hot stuff. Yeah, that's gonna happen.

 

You have serious boundary issues (I got this from your other threads about the guy who was okay with having sex with you when he visited your city - and you think of as a "serious relationship.")

I don't have boundary issues. I have boundaries -- and they are good to have. We all know what happened when I had none in the previous "relationship." It is good to establish boundaries. If a guy thinks my boundaries are too out there, so be it. He is not the right person for me. My boundaries are not unreasonable ones, either.

[NoMoreJerks]

:confused:

 

The army isn't created for anyone's convenience. Training is done at different times, sometimes they go on exercise for days on end, sometimes in the middle of the night so he will get his rest at different times. He won't always have his phone on him either. Or - rather inconveniently - he won't always have reception either! Imagine!

 

The Army is not 9-5

 

Excuse??

 

Otherwise I'm with Mme Chaucer, you are way way way deep into something with a complete stranger.

Actually, this is what he told me: his duty hours are 6 am to 11pm. Ironically, I called him at 10:30 and he could text before his "duty" ended. Clearly, he CAN text while on duty. Not only that, but he can also text while off-duty. The question is, why didn't he? It's not a question of whether or not he had his phone on him, or could use it. Clearly, he did.

[jcrew11]

My point is that Manners don't exist anymore in dating, especially in the bar scene dating. It might be different where you live. You clearly want a guy who is more available and who lives closer to your house. You say you want to change your dating habits, but your chasing a guy who lives far away and is literally unavailable. He's practically a med school student, and they are not known to have much time for their social life, because he's busy treating patients and learning how to save lives.

 

Guys get numbers from girls in bars all the time, and at least 3 out of 4 girls won't answer the phone, will screen calls, won't return voicemails, and won't respond to texts. You blame guys for being bad players, but there are just as many girls that give out their phone numbers, knowing that they will never answer his calls. Its a terrible scene, but both Guys and Girls have bad manners, when it comes to answering calls from strangers.

 

I don't blame you for being upset that he wasn't clear in his availability. I blame your seemingly alarmist emotional writing style, proclaiming this guy to be the worst person in the world. I don't know anything about your personality, other than you have a 2 day rule, you are now a stickler for good manners, and you seem rather emotional and angry at any slights a complete stranger has made against you. If I was the guy trying to date you, I would think that you are not a fun, easy-going, relaxed person to be around. Men like strong, Self-confident women who are not bitter and angry.

 

The thing is you want an "Atheist, non-religious man, but has still gentlemanly manners and a conservative/traditional dating philosophy of treating a woman in a monogamous relationship."

 

But society has become a "socially liberal hippie paradise of free-love and casual relationships." More and more woman are taking advantage of birth control and being more promiscuous and dating more men. I don't know your age, but marriage is becoming less common, and its acceptable to have children out of wedlock. Divorce is more common now more than ever.

 

 

Oh please. I am neither traditional nor conservative. Expecting that someone who wanted to meet up with me in the future to get to know me, would show some decent, respectful behaviour, does not mean one is traditional or conservative, or that she should preferably try to find men at a church. You make me laugh, with the insane conclusions you draw from my posts. All I said was, if this guy did not respond to my text for 2 days, then it is safe to assume that he has poor manners or is simply not interested. As simple as that. No need for any further conclusions about my personality, my alleged "problems", or supposedly sky-high expectations. There were no expectations that anything would come out of this. Just that a man would have the decency to explain the delayed text mssg, and/or apologize given the way the whole planning of the date panned out. THAT IS ALL. If he doesn't, which was the case, I'll chalk it up to bad manners or disinterestedness on his part, and move on. Big deal. But I see no reason to give him a chance or the benefit of the doubt AGAIN. That is what a few of you said I should have done, and I see no logic behind that. Now you are turning this around and claiming I invested too many expectations that something would come out of meeting a stranger in a bar. I did not. I simply thought we'd exchange numbers and maybe meet up, and see where it went and whether or not we were compatible or this had the chance to work out given his career choice. In fact, I went in with ZERO expectations since I know for a fact that someone in the army is probably not a good match for me, given MY OWN career choice, and inability to pack up and move with him wherever he went, and unwillingness to not see someone I'm having a relationship with (or worse, married to,) for years.

 

It is an urban legend that all men in a bar are "bad" people or that nothing will come out of meeting them. I have a few friends who have met their now-husbands in bars. I go to bars, and I consider myself to be a nice person who wants a relationship, not a ONS. Many of my male friends go to bars (on their own or in groups), and they are nice people, some married, others single - but not the ONS types. Are there a lot of jerks in bars who are simply looking for ONS? Sure. That is the whole point of trying to filter out the bad ones. That is why his behaviour and mannerisms post-bar meet-up is so important. It indicates whether he's interested in a relationship, or has the good manners that would allow him to get into a relationship or to maintain one. If he doesn't, then he simply is not relationship material and probably knows it. If he can't respect me enough via text, by providing a half-assed apology -- guess what, he won't be respecting me any more than that in person.

[jcrew11]

Actually, this is what he told me: his duty hours are 6 am to 11pm. Ironically, I called him at 10:30 and he could text before his "duty" ended. Clearly, he CAN text while on duty. Not only that, but he can also text while off-duty. The question is, why didn't he? It's not a question of whether or not he had his phone on him, or could use it. Clearly, he did.

 

He doesn't have the time or want to devote the time to having a girlfriend; or having you as a girlfriend. He doesn't want to get emotionally invested in anyone, or maybe he thinks you're weird/bitter and lacking self-confidence (judging by your posts here). He has other priorities in his life - like passing basic training, his studies, and his own family. His "dating life" is not a priority at all.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Actually -- I am not creating something out of "nothing". That nothing happens to be a guy playing cat -mouse catch me if you can games with me.

 

He had your contact information and he did not use it for two days. That's not "playing games" or anything else. Why didn't you just leave it at that?

[Mme. Chaucer]

Actually, this is what he told me: his duty hours are 6 am to 11pm. Ironically, I called him at 10:30 and he could text before his "duty" ended. Clearly, he CAN text while on duty. Not only that, but he can also text while off-duty. The question is, why didn't he? It's not a question of whether or not he had his phone on him, or could use it. Clearly, he did.

 

What you are failing to understand is that THERE IS NO QUESTION. He didn't. That's all you need to know. And this whole thing should have been long gone from your mind after you hadn't heard from him 2 days after your drinking at the bar.

 

Do you realize how this behavior is completely consistent with you thinking a man who dropped into your city a few times for sex with you for a few months was a "serious relationship"?

 

YOU are taking things seriously … that are NOT.

[suladas]

He had your contact information and he did not use it for two days. That's not "playing games" or anything else. Why didn't you just leave it at that?

 

Why should the guy always have to? If they exchanged numbers, it is perfectly fine for either person to contact the other.

 

The thing I don't get is, if he's not interested why set up a date in the first place? If you're unsure, don't set it up, canceling a date because of a lame excuse is weak.

[jcrew11]

What you are failing to understand is that THERE IS NO QUESTION. He didn't. That's all you need to know. And this whole thing should have been long gone from your mind after you hadn't heard from him 2 days after your drinking at the bar.

 

Do you realize how this behavior is completely consistent with you thinking a man who dropped into your city a few times for sex with you for a few months was a "serious relationship"?

 

YOU are taking things seriously … that are NOT.

 

I think the OP has a concept in her mind of "rushing" into a dating relationship, calling in 2 days, and having dinner the next weekend. This may be possible for other men in a "similar rush" or "feeling love at first site and sparks" but for a lot of alpha men, with good looks, a good job, and a busy life, these women seem like "stalkers"

 

I think from this guy's perspective, he doesn't want to lead her on, and I feel like the OP is in "stalker mode" especially with her 2 day phone call requirement, and being the first to contact him. The guy didn't return the 1st text message right away because he was busy, and he didn't want to lead her on that he was ready for a serious relationship so soon. The OP has stated that "she doesn't want a casual relationship, and wants a serious boyfriend that calls and pays for dinner."

 

But the guy, because of his commitment to the military, can't develop anything more than a "casual relationship" and he certainly doesn't want a serious relationship with the OP, with daily texts and weekly dinner dates.

 

For most men, especially if we don't have time to devote to a serious relationship, we prefer to start with a casual dating situation and it might develop into a more serious thing. The guy thinks the OP is a "stalker" who would be willing to visit his city for dates.

 

The OP is testing the guy to see if he is "boyfriend material."

But the guy is equally seeing "red flags" because she is coming on so strong in hopes of landing a steady boyfriend that texts her everyday. They are both testing each other; and she obviously wants something more, than he is willing to give.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Why should the guy always have to? If they exchanged numbers, it is perfectly fine for either person to contact the other.

 

Of course it is. But the guy not contacting her first probably does mean something.

 

The thing I don't get is, if he's not interested why set up a date in the first place? If you're unsure, don't set it up, canceling a date because of a lame excuse is weak.

 

The whole tale is very confusing, especially for a story that can be told in 4 sentences. Anyway, I may have got lost, but I didn't see that a real date was actually set up. Wasn't it something like "maybe we can have dinner some Saturday"?

[NoMoreJerks]

What you are failing to understand is that THERE IS NO QUESTION. He didn't. That's all you need to know. And this whole thing should have been long gone from your mind after you hadn't heard from him 2 days after your drinking at the bar.

 

Do you realize how this behavior is completely consistent with you thinking a man who dropped into your city a few times for sex with you for a few months was a "serious relationship"?

 

YOU are taking things seriously … that are NOT.

My ex did not "drop into my city" a few times for sex. He was here for most of the summer. Altogether, of the 4 months that I knew him, I was with him just about every day for 3 full months (with a week or two of interruption in between). It had all the elements of a "serious relationship" at the very start. That started changing when he brought up the whole threesome thing -- but that's a different story. To claim that there is a "pattern" here for otherwise ****ed up behaviour by jerks, and to blame that pattern on me, is ridiculous.

[NoMoreJerks]

The whole tale is very confusing, especially for a story that can be told in 4 sentences. Anyway, I may have got lost, but I didn't see that a real date was actually set up. Wasn't it something like "maybe we can have dinner some Saturday"?

No -- that was what *I* said -- I suggested dinner "some time". Not "this Saturday" or "soon". I just let him know I was interested. That wasn't "stalkerish". It didn't indicate that I wanted to see him soon. When he texted me back, he suggested Saturday, and then called to set up the actual date, time, place, etc. Because I didn't pick up the phone, we arranged the date over text mssging. He asked me to pick the place (since he is not terribly familiar with places in my city) and time. He picked the day (Saturday). The date was FIXED. Saturday at 8pm, at an "average" restaurant (nothing fancy).

[NoMoreJerks]

So I'm the one stalking him? The last text I sent him was on Saturday -- to say ok about the cancellation.

 

He's not leading me on? Really?

 

He texted me last night at 8:30 pm (weekday, before 11pm, thought the captain would be around?). This was his text, word for word: "Well you missed a pretty good time saturday, could've been better with you there?!"

 

Kinda confirms my suspicions that he might've had something else come up (maybe his friends suggested a better way of spending Halloween weekend -- maybe partying it up somewhere; "the girl can always wait, you've already caught her in your net"). Guess that means he didn't get "lucky", or maybe he did but wants to keep his other "options" open. Because, here's the thing: there are NO places to party it up anywhere within the 25 km range around his base... I wouldn't even be surprised if he was in my city, but just didn't want to do the whole dinner date thing -- instead wanted to party and collect more numbers from women.

 

Whatever the case, this guy has no respect for me and is taking me for granted -- he has the audacity to text me about his Saturday evening, after he blew me off last minute and ruined any saturday evening plans I might've been able to schedule with my friends.

Edited October 30, 2012 by NoMoreJerks

[stillafool]

You were waiting on this guy to contact you, he called you 4 times in 10 minutes, but you didn't answer because your hands were full. In 10 minutes you couldn't put down your packages or whatever and take his phone call? That seems like you are playing games to me. I personally would have waited for him to lead but since you did contact him first and wanted to see him you should have put down whatever you were carrying and answered his call. I think him calling you showed more respect than sending a text.

[clia]

I can't believe you are still dwelling on a guy you talked to for a few hours at a bar and stated you were going to pass on. Just move on. This thread is bizarre.

[NoMoreJerks]

He had your contact information and he did not use it for two days. That's not "playing games" or anything else. Why didn't you just leave it at that?

Leave it at what exactly? The only reason I texted him was that the way we parted was a bit awkward, and I wasn't sure if I sent the right signals that I was interested in him. I just thought I'd make that interest more explicit. Nothing wrong with that. It has nothing to do with neediness/clinginess, or anything of the sort. If, after I showed him I was interested, he still wasn't interested, fine, big deal, delete number, move along to the next one -- who cares that it didn't pan out? I don't expect to have a romantic relationship with every guy I talk to or am initially interested in....

[Emilia]

Leave it at what exactly? The only reason I texted him was that the way we parted was a bit awkward, and I wasn't sure if I sent the right signals that I was interested in him. I just thought I'd make that interest more explicit. Nothing wrong with that. It has nothing to do with neediness/clinginess, or anything of the sort. If, after I showed him I was interested, he still wasn't interested, fine, big deal, delete number, move along to the next one -- who cares that it didn't pan out? I don't expect to have a romantic relationship with every guy I talk to or am initially interested in....

 

In your initial posts you seemed pretty angry. I think it would be better if you acknowledged your anxiety issues and worked on them. There must be a reason behind creating this thread after all

[NoMoreJerks]

I think the OP has a concept in her mind of "rushing" into a dating relationship, calling in 2 days, and having dinner the next weekend. This may be possible for other men in a "similar rush" or "feeling love at first site and sparks" but for a lot of alpha men, with good looks, a good job, and a busy life, these women seem like "stalkers"

OK, let me make this clear. He was not drop-dead gorgeous. He was average-looking. Sure, he might have a busy life, but definitely not a good job. My current jobs (yes, multiple) are more impressive and I definitely have better career prospects than he does... He has jumped from one failed job to another. Initially wanted to get into professional hockey -- didn't make the cut; then worked in the restaurant business (manager of a restaurant), which didn't really pay well, etc. Which is why he decided to join the army. I've seen a lot of men like him -- they have no job prospects so their only real option is to join the armed forces. I've seen it time and again. It was also the case with the guy in the U.S army that I used to talk to.

 

I think from this guy's perspective, he doesn't want to lead her on

Guess what: he IS leading me on. See the update in one of my previous posts.

 

I feel like the OP is in "stalker mode" especially with her 2 day phone call requirement, and being the first to contact him.

Really? OMG. Being the first to contact a guy is stalkerish? And you accuse ME of being traditional/conservative?

 

The guy didn't return the 1st text message right away because he was busy, and he didn't want to lead her on that he was ready for a serious relationship so soon.

How on earth did he do that? How does the fact that he set up a date fit in with that ??!?! It sounds counter-intuitive and counter-productive to me, if that was his intention -- not to lead me on...?

 

The guy thinks the OP is a "stalker" who would be willing to visit his city for dates.

Well now he knows, I suppose, that I am not a cheap whore or a "stalker" who is willing to drive 70km to see his highness. If that's how big his ego is...... wow, just wow...

 

But the guy is equally seeing "red flags" because she is coming on so strong in hopes of landing a steady boyfriend that texts her everyday.

Hahaha, are you for real? First of all, I never told him I was unhappy with the lag in his texting. Second, how am I coming on so strong? By texting him first and just saying it would be great to go to dinner "some time"? Wow, if that's coming on too strong, that guy sure has issues...

[NoMoreJerks]

You were waiting on this guy to contact you, he called you 4 times in 10 minutes, but you didn't answer because your hands were full. In 10 minutes you couldn't put down your packages or whatever and take his phone call? That seems like you are playing games to me. I personally would have waited for him to lead but since you did contact him first and wanted to see him you should have put down whatever you were carrying and answered his call. I think him calling you showed more respect than sending a text.

I was out shopping -- had my hands full AND on top of that, the music was so LOUD in the store (clothing store), that I wouldn't have been able to hear anything (lousy phone and I have pretty bad hearing which is partly why I hate phone calls to begin with unless they are on Skype, where I can have sufficient volume to hear someone well enough).

[NoMoreJerks]

In your initial posts you seemed pretty angry. I think it would be better if you acknowledged your anxiety issues and worked on them. There must be a reason behind creating this thread after all

Yeah-- they WERE written in anger. I was disrespected, and I don't really deal well with disrespect especially after my traumatic experience with my ex. At this point, though,I don't really care much. When I got his mssg last night? I was like, wow, he has the audacity to text me about his saturday evening... Pretty disrespectful still, but oh well, can't really make everyone in the world have the good manners that you expect them to have..

[NoMoreJerks]

I can't believe you are still dwelling on a guy you talked to for a few hours at a bar and stated you were going to pass on. Just move on. This thread is bizarre.

I have moved on. I moved on the minute he cancelled the date on me. Or maybe even before that, but still wanted to give him a chance/benefit of the doubt. Anyway, this thread isn't so much about him as about expectations about when a guy should/would text if he's really interested, etc.

[jcrew11]

From your writing, you ARE being obsessive, angry, and expecting a serious relationship (instead of a casual relationship) from this guy you just met. Only he thinks its more of a casual thing (no daily phone calls) than a serious thing.

 

Sure, it is reasonable to expect a guy to have "traditional dating manners and respect for women" when he has a normal 9-5 job and plenty of personal time.

 

My issue is that you do not understand the total social isolation of Basic Training Boot Camp. Watch the movie "Full Metal Jacket" to get a picture of how often this guy has "free time" to make personal calls and texts to potential girlfriends.

 

You got very emotional and angry over his lack of communication.

 

It is UN-realistic for him to respond timely to your texts and calls because of basic training. It might be an convenient excuse, but the army doesn't let you carry personal cell phones when you are conducting training drills and taking orders from sargents.

 

He told you:

- He can't make personal phone calls until after 11 pm.

- Even when he can make phone calls, he is probably catching up with friends and family first, before talking to random girls he met on the weekend.

- He says he can respond to "emergency texts" during the day when he has time. I wouldn't classify your first text as an Urgent message he needed to immediately respond to.

- He says he only has some weekends free away from the base.

 

You got so emotional and angry that he didn't respond to texts and calls, and I don't think its realistic for his situation. He has been pretty clear that he doesn't have a lot of free time to make phone calls, and non-urgent texts. If you really have a problem with his communication style, then yell at him and see how he reacts. I'm pretty sure he will freak out and won't talk to you ever again.

 

You should be upset at his cancelling/changing the date. But you should tell him "you are upset" directly instead of complaining on a message board. It is pretty pointless to complain to strangers instead of the person responsible. Clearly he doesn't have the time to meet your Relationship needs.

 

Complain to him directly about the cancelled date. I'm sure he won't ever contact you or disrespect you again. Tell him how you feel, how upset you were when he didn't call you after 2 days. Show him this message thread. Guys love to hear about girls emotional problems! He will really enjoy reading about how much you are complaining about him!

[NoMoreJerks]

Complain to him directly about the cancelled date. I'm sure he won't ever contact you or disrespect you again. Tell him how you feel, how upset you were when he didn't call you after 2 days. Show him this message thread. Guys love to hear about girls emotional problems! He will really enjoy reading about how much you are complaining about him!

Emotional problems? Wow. Yeah. OK, because expecting a modicum of respect -- an apology for cancelling a date even if the circumstances were beyond his ability to control -- is an "emotional problem" now...

 

It is clear that he is treating this as a booty-call type situation. His "could've been better with you here" to a woman who is practically a stranger to him, indicates that. I'm not complaining about the fact that he might've thought of this as a casual potential fling from the very start. In fact, I'm not complaining about anything -- was just wondering about contact "rules" and contact behaviour, and what it is indicative of, and pointing out how it's disrespectful for men to treat a woman like this, regardless of the fact that they're only interested in sleeping with her once and not wanting to see her ever again. At least have some respect. It's not an animal you are going to sleep with, you know. Or someone that you are paying -- a mere transaction with a prostitute. Even prostitutes would probably not put up with **** attitude from their clients.

 

Again, his text mssg last night? Basically saying he was out partying (probably in MY city, because he does NOT live in a city and the area he lives in, there are no places to go out partying, in the 25 km range) -- the nerve to say that after cancelling a date without apologizing... yeah, he has some balls, I have to admit.. but manners? None. He's probably a failure not only on the job/career front, but also with women. To be honest, I think his text mssg was a passive-aggressive response to the fact that I turned down his "offer" for me to drive up there and meet up with him. His ego must've received a hit. That, or he's just a plain and simple jerkface who does not give a toss about showing a woman that he outrightly lied to her and went out partying instead of going on a date with her.

 

Anyway, I can't help but notice how you shifted from claiming this guy was really interested in me but couldn't help the circumstances and so I should give him the benefit of the doubt, to almost noting that he is interested in a casual FWB/****-buddy type arrangement.

 

What I take issue with, is your insinuations that I should accept this sort of disrespect. Just because someone is looking for ONS / FWB doesn't warrant such disrespectful behaviour.

Edited October 30, 2012 by NoMoreJerks

[Mme. Chaucer]

It is UN-realistic for him to respond timely to your texts and calls because of basic training. It might be an convenient excuse, but the army doesn't let you carry personal cell phones when you are conducting training drills and taking orders from sargents.

 

As far as I'm concerned, it's wildly irrational and concerning to expect this level of "timely response" from a STRANGER met for a few hours by chance in a bar.

 

Especially from a woman who can't free her hands to pick up a call for TEN MINUTES. And who doesn't have voice mail.

 

Crazy.

 

THERAPY NOW.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Okay, back to the OP.

 

I said there were not "contact rules," but I think that in your specific case, there needs to be. You have monumental boundary issues, so making strict parameters IN YOUR PARTICULAR CASE, will probably help you.

 

So here are the rules:

 

When you meet a guy and exchange contact information,

 

DO NOT USE IT. Wait for him to use it. If you only want traditional dates, hold out for HIM TO INVITE YOU ON A TRADITIONAL DATE.

 

So, the only acceptable situation FOR YOU (until you get your issues sorted out) will be for a man you meet to phone you with an invitation to go out with him, at his expense.

 

Otherwise, DO NOT ENGAGE.

 

And STOP with the denigrating of this guy or any other guy you might meet. So what if your career is on a better track than his is? Maybe he is a mentally healthy and kind person. That has value too.

[jcrew11]

Anyway, I can't help but notice how you shifted from claiming this guy was really interested in me but couldn't help the circumstances and so I should give him the benefit of the doubt, to almost noting that he is interested in a casual FWB/****-buddy type arrangement.

 

You've been angerly complaining about him since he never called you within 2 days. You complained when it took him 1 day and a half to respond to your first text message. YOU are the one who is trying to turn this into a serious relationship faster than he wants or has time to. You want him to call or text everyday, respond to calls and texts immediately. You want him to have dinner every weekend but no sex until marriage or whatever.

 

He clearly doesn't have the time to devote to a "serious relationship." He only has time for a phone call maybe once a week; and maybe seeing you every other weekend.

 

Every relationship starts out with "casual communication" until the man decides he wants to be in a "serious monogamous relationship"

 

Let be clear, this guy is not ready yet for a "serious relationship with you." He might be later when he has more time and gets to know you.

 

But your expectations of "respect" and "timely communication" and "dinner dates" is not possible or realistic given this guys current situation.

 

If you don't like the way he is treating you, then angrily confront him, and he will stop calling you. Put him in his place, or he'll continue to disrespect you.