Leegh Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 I think a lot of people who have been married (maybe several times and have kids) and now are divorced, actually prefer to be unmarried if they are a bit older now; 50 plus. Not so much that they don't believe in marriage, but possibly at a later age, they actually prefer to live alone. In addition, with the internet, that can be a great companion. I know of a couple of people who are older and live alone now, and seem wonderfully happy. Any thoughts on this subject?
El Brujo Posted October 27, 2012 Posted October 27, 2012 Sounds like my neighbor who lives down the street. He was married to a woman who is very immature and narcissistic (I've met her, that's how I know), now he's glad he divorced her, and I know he'd up and move to some desert island where he could be totally alone, if he wasn't so damn broke from the divorce. He says he'd be happy not to have any more human interaction for the rest of his life.
xdahliax Posted October 27, 2012 Posted October 27, 2012 Never give an old person a computer. My great aunt now spends most of her spare time on her computer and sends me 50 chain e-mails per day of cute animals. And the occasional sex joke... But yes, her computer does help her cope with loneliness. She's been married 4 times and has the worst luck in love. She keeps busy in other ways too, though. I don't think it would be healthy for anyone to spend an extended amount of time on the computer as a replacement for actual human interaction.
january2011 Posted October 27, 2012 Posted October 27, 2012 I don't think this is universal. Some don't quite "get" computers. And some have health problems that affect their mobility and ability to get out and about. Some also rely on visits from friends and family for company, who have their own lives and may not be able to keep in touch regularly. From memory, I think loneliness in seniors who either can't, won't or don't make an effort to socialise (whether offline or online) leads to a decline that can be a quick route to death. It's one reason why some seniors who don't remain active after they retire and/or are single/widowed/divorced, usually don't end up spending much time enjoying their retirement/singledom before they pass.
crude Posted October 27, 2012 Posted October 27, 2012 Looking at it another way, many people were never cut out to be married in the first place. They were never truly happy having a roommate, but society almost forced them to be married. Now they're living the way they were intended to, and are happy as a result.
veggirl Posted October 27, 2012 Posted October 27, 2012 I'm not sure 50 is considered "older" BUT I see what you are saying. I have a friend in her mid 60s, her 3rd marriage just ended last year and she plans on being alone and is fine with that and happy. She says that if she was younger she would not accept it, but at this point will and is content and at peace with it. She enjoys her life, I know she gets lonely at times, but overall she is in a good place with herself. I think it's admirable. I also think it will quite possibly eventually lead her to love--she's never been on her own, really, and she's never been comfortable alone. She is now and I think it's really cool.
Sugarkane Posted October 27, 2012 Posted October 27, 2012 Reminds me of a co worker. She is divorced and a grandmother. She said all she wanted was to be married and have a family. She was divorced when her children were very young. She has tried dating but didn't really try. But she is also a very domineering and controlling personality anyway.
bac Posted October 27, 2012 Posted October 27, 2012 I think a lot of people who have been married (maybe several times and have kids) and now are divorced, actually prefer to be unmarried if they are a bit older now; 50 plus. Not so much that they don't believe in marriage, but possibly at a later age, they actually prefer to live alone. In addition, with the internet, that can be a great companion. I know of a couple of people who are older and live alone now, and seem wonderfully happy. Any thoughts on this subject? I do not think that they are happy to be alone. But, they definitely have no choice because it is too difficult for them to find a partner. From what I know, attractive men in 50-70s are looking for younger women(in 30-50s). I guess women in 50-60s should accept loneliness unless they are wealthy enough to do plastic surgeries and support younger guys financially.
todreaminblue Posted October 27, 2012 Posted October 27, 2012 Sounds like my neighbor who lives down the street. He was married to a woman who is very immature and narcissistic (I've met her, that's how I know), now he's glad he divorced her, and I know he'd up and move to some desert island where he could be totally alone, if he wasn't so damn broke from the divorce. He says he'd be happy not to have any more human interaction for the rest of his life. I used to feel like this in fact i told everybody who knew me i did not want a relationship and was going to be celibate.I am wary around men unless i am inebriated and not very trusting it actually isnt the mens fault its mine and i know it.....i have had some great influences in my life and with great men who were respectful ....and when i had honestly felt good about living the rest of my life alone......with family around me....i met someone who changed my mind he has the same values as the men who have been integral in my faith in the male species....and the men he hangs around the same deal......respect for the women in their lives, love of family all the good stuff...heart lifting qualities..so it came as a bit of a shock......i dont think anyone should give up....i have been mistreated by men.......and i also know i can be respected by men.....everybody goes through crap ....you just never know when you will feel better again its normally unexpected but few people live their lives as hermits.......when i was a child i used to say hello to a hermit who lived next to the fish co op...my great uncle told me once i was one of the few he would say hello too....you just never know who you want to get to know.....that hermit was particularly cool and i have fond memories......he obviously wanted to reach out to people just not all people.....i was just one he felt comfortable with...everybody can have that person in their life you just have to know when the time is right......deb
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