GirlontheLam Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 So a couple weeks ago I met someone I was on the fence about. After a few conversations, talking is easy, good chemistry, I am sure we'd have fun on a date. So here is the deal...what's my next move? Background so far: 1. I catch him obviously checking me out (I will see him fairly frequently as he is the security guy in the office building a work in a few days a week) 2. He introduces himself (but doesn't fit my MO -- read this as perceived different lifestyles/stages) 3. Keep in mind I am a chatty/bubbly person and a little bit of a controlled flirt. So I introduce myself, chat for a minute or two and that's that. This building apparently has the chattiest security guards in America. The other one is a chatterbox too. 4. The next couple times I go by, huge smiles, says hi, etc even when he is talking to someone else. But this guy is a flirt too (he knows he's hot), and flirts lightly with most women going by. 5. When I walk by he is sure to comment in some way to make sure I know he sees me going by. Examples: "you can't walk by without saying hi." "why didn't you go into the door over here closest to me?" 6. I have talked to him a few times in passing, 5-10 minute conversations about where he lives, movies, music, you know the basics. 7. He is upping the flirting a bit too, adding in some unnecessary physical contact in the last couple of conversations. Shoulder squeeze. Hand squeeze. So basically he is obviously flirting. I've been stopping to chat if I have a moment, but that's it so far. He seems to be the type who likes to lead things.... So what should I do next? Stopping to chat isn't prompting him to move beyond escalating the flirting. So what should I do that is semi-obvious? In another environment I'd go for the shoulder or arm touch or similar, but that feels a little bit inappropriate in this circumstance (well I guess not in his eyes). I'll run into him some point next week at the office.
MrCastle Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 I would ask him out to lunch if you have your breaks at the same time. Then depending on how that went, ask him to a more serious date outside of work. I wouldn't right off the bat approach this like all my other dates because this is a guy you have to see at work. It could get awkward if things don't work out. If you want to be the aggressor, you can say something like "We always only talk for like 2 minutes, when do you have lunch? Maybe we can talk some more then."
Author GirlontheLam Posted October 26, 2012 Author Posted October 26, 2012 I would ask him out to lunch if you have your breaks at the same time. Then depending on how that went, ask him to a more serious date outside of work. I wouldn't right off the bat approach this like all my other dates because this is a guy you have to see at work. It could get awkward if things don't work out. If you want to be the aggressor, you can say something like "We always only talk for like 2 minutes, when do you have lunch? Maybe we can talk some more then." These are good ideas, but "work time" probably doesn't match up well. I tend to only go in when I have meetings, and I think he is on the "early shift" so basically his lunch time is prime time work time for me, and then I will end way later. Maybe I'll have to hint about post work drinks for me. Or maybe coffee time for me could be lunch time or quitting time for him.
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