KS11 Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 I've been trying and trying to think of a way to keep this girl I'm madly in love with in my life, but I know deep down its not possible until these feelings have gone, which I honestly don't think ever will. I really need some help on how to just walk away. I'm not going to go in to the whole story, but we last saw each other last weekend where I ended up telling her that I had started taking anti-depressants in part due to our 'relationhsip' but also because I'm so down about everything else in my life, I completely loathe myself, I sleep about 15 hours a day because I can't stand being alone with my thoughts and I just figured taking medication might help in some way. After telling her this, she first got really angry and said that nothing can every between us if I feel like this, and that I need to go away and sort some stuff out but then the next day said she overreacted. I said that the reason why it's so hard is because nothing has ever happened with us and her unsureness about wanting to be me with has just made me feel even more insecure. But that the only thing to do was to cut her out until I fall out of love with her. As soon as I had hung up the phone after saying that I felt this panic that that's it, I've lost her. I messaged saying that I really want that, to which she replied 'we don't have to stop speaking, I just want you to be happy'. We ended up taking the rest of day. Since then I've just been trying to figure out what to do. I feel stuck, I can't cope being just her friend anymore, but I know if I lose her I'll be just as unhappy. I went to see a therapist yesterday, for the first time, which was pretty awkward, but it did put some things in perspective. If anyone could tell me what to do or how to do it? I know I've posted a lot before about this, Im just do scared of having to cope with what's left when I've lost her.
River Rain Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 Firstly, it's not fair to say you're on anti-d's because of your relationship with her. You're on anti-d's because of you, of how you can't cope with the situation. I'd be pissed too if I were blamed in that manner. I think that you need to go nc or lc with her, because obviously you have issues to work out. If you're sleeping 15 hours a day, you are depressed, I know I've been there. You have to get yourself happy before you can have a relationship with someone, otherwise, there will always be this desperation, insecurity and sadness. If you think that falling out of love with her is the only way to get better, then you already know what to do, and that's stay away from her and get your mental health in order, concentrate on you. 1
PYTpisces Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 agreed. you need to get better so that you can have a better relationship... a better you. you're health is more important than any relationship. it's hard to put yourself first when you have this yearning right in front of your eyes. learning to love yourself takes time, ups and downs, its definitely a process. seeing a therapist is great! taking that initiative is wonderful... you're on your way hang in there 1
River Rain Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 agreed. you need to get better so that you can have a better relationship... a better you. you're health is more important than any relationship. it's hard to put yourself first when you have this yearning right in front of your eyes. learning to love yourself takes time, ups and downs, its definitely a process. seeing a therapist is great! taking that initiative is wonderful... you're on your way hang in there That's what is so foreboding...the time. Not that everyone will have to take as much time as me, but basically I was alone 18 years before I felt okay enough to include a man in my life. I only felt better a few years ago, and I did therapy for 9 years, it did help a lot. My progress stalled quite a bit because I longed to be in a relationship, but knew I couldn't - for mine and "his" sake. Once I decided to forget about men for a while, then I was able to begin to heal because it was almost an obsession at that point, all I could focus on was my loneliness. 1
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