TJH77 Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 I'll keep this short, Been going to Starbucks a for a few days now just basically to see the girl working there. She gave me her schedule without me asking, told me a few things about herself including her name (i asked for that) and was seemingly a little flirty. Well today was my big day, she told me she was working today so i stopped by to see her and to ask her to lunch. I first asked her how shes been, how a trip she told me about prior to went, and if she had any plans for the weekend. < that was my big opener, after she responded with what she was doing i asked her out to lunch sometime that weekend. She kind of looked around and made me think she was worried about doing that sort of thing at work, so i said "i know it inappropriate to ask you out at work but I don't see you anywhere else and this seemed like my only chance. She hesitated, and thought for what seemed an eternity and responded she was kind of in a relationship, then said well working on the relationship. To me that sounded like they were patching things up ect... I don't want to be that guy that just tries to steal a girl, but I really do feel she's interested. I have fought back the urge to go and apologize to her for putting her in that position at work, it just doesn't seem like a good idea. I'm conflicted now, I don't really know what to think anymore about the situation. I initially thought, yes or no its a definite black and white issue and I'll know today, but I feel like I'm in a grey area now. Any advice? Harsh critique is welcome, someone tell me they just don't think shes into me lol and maybe I'll accept that but at the moment I don't see it that way. Thanks for taking the time to read!!!
WhatYouWantToHear Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 My advice is to find a new coffee place. She's playing games with you and even more serious games with her boyfriend. Bang her if you want/can, but I wouldn't try for anything more.
Mrlonelyone Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 I'll keep this short, Been going to Starbucks a for a few days now just basically to see the girl working there. She gave me her schedule without me asking, told me a few things about herself including her name (i asked for that) and was seemingly a little flirty. Well today was my big day, she told me she was working today so i stopped by to see her and to ask her to lunch. Woman telling you unsolicited when she works there = some interest. I first asked her how shes been, how a trip she told me about prior to went, and if she had any plans for the weekend. < that was my big opener, after she responded with what she was doing i asked her out to lunch sometime that weekend. She kind of looked around and made me think she was worried about doing that sort of thing at work, so i said "i know it inappropriate to ask you out at work but I don't see you anywhere else and this seemed like my only chance. Sounds reasonable so far... She hesitated, and thought for what seemed an eternity and responded she was kind of in a relationship, then said well working on the relationship. To me that sounded like they were patching things up ect... I don't want to be that guy that just tries to steal a girl, but I really do feel she's interested. Your gut feeling is probably right. When someone acts the way you described they are in a relationship which is not satisfying them for some reason. Perhaps they just started seeing someone, perhaps they are thinking about ending it, who knows. The bottom line is they are not emotionally available. You are attractive enough to her and she has some level of interest. Her actions show that. She's just not available. I have fought back the urge to go and apologize to her for putting her in that position at work, it just doesn't seem like a good idea. I'm conflicted now, I don't really know what to think anymore about the situation. I initially thought, yes or no its a definite black and white issue and I'll know today, but I feel like I'm in a grey area now. Any advice? Harsh critique is welcome, someone tell me they just don't think shes into me lol and maybe I'll accept that but at the moment I don't see it that way. Thanks for taking the time to read!!! These things are never black and white issues. There are infinite shades of grey between those. I think you should just accept that she's not available, see everything she does through that lens. No matter how interested she acts, she's not available and so it means nothing. Unless she tells you or signals in some way that she's not kinda in a relationship anymore. 1
serial muse Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 The bottom line is they are not emotionally available. You are attractive enough to her and she has some level of interest. Her actions show that. She's just not available. I think you should just accept that she's not available, see everything she does through that lens. No matter how interested she acts, she's not available and so it means nothing. Unless she tells you or signals in some way that she's not kinda in a relationship anymore. Exactly this, can't add a thing.
Author TJH77 Posted October 26, 2012 Author Posted October 26, 2012 Thanks all, appreciated! Things like this used to be so easy now it seems I'm turning into that sap that went from not giving a damn to all of a sudden hopeful romantic, kinda sucks but fun in its own right. Anyways, I'm going to keep talking to her. Expect nothing other than a general acquaintance friendship unless something new rises within her. Thanks again for all your support and advice!
Leegh Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 I would wait a few weeks and ask her out again. If she says she can't then give her your phone number, and say something to the effect that you tried, and that the ball is in her court now, and she can call you, and that you're still interested in her.
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