Shaun-Dro Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 I see a ton of threads on here bemoaning being short, being overweight, having social anxiety and everything else. But let me tell you ageism is the worst. I have been fat and still got women, I am 5’8.5 and dated women that are 5’10 and almost landed a 6’3 girl once. And for a short time in my 20’s I suffered really bad social anxiety, so much so that I went on Paxil for a few months….but I still went out with women But I am faced with the greatest challenge of my dating life: ageism. It seems that the only women that want me are 47+. I just turned 41 and I do look younger then that (early 30’s). But the last three women I met all freaked out when I told them my age. And they were in their early 30’s. I even had women in their late 30’s tell me I am too old for them. WTF? And before people start going “Well they weren’t that interested in you.” Ehhh no. I spent 3 hrs with one to the point where she kept asking if I was ok dating a taller woman (She was 6’0). But as soon as she found out how old I was she became hostile. And God don’t get me started on OLD. Every woman’s profile on those sites puts their max age at 40. It doesn’t matter if they are 40 themselves. I cant tell you have many women have the age parameters set at 2 up and 15 down. I mean I get it that a 23 yr old would probably not want to date me...but when did it become verboten for a 34 yr old to date someone 41? I honestly don't know what your problem is. I'm 34 and never had any problems in nailing younger women. And I mean more than 10 years sometimes. I'm guessing that these women weren't all that interested to begin with, but it wasn't made clear until you gave them the excuse to run off.
RiverRunning Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 I'd date a guy in his early 40s, but I'm not really clear on anything else going on here. Maybe these women are thinking about having kids in the next 5 or 10 years - and they're concerned that a 45 or 50-ish-year-old you is too old to be fathering their kids. But I'm going to guess your sample size is too small to really conclude that, "Women hate older men." Especially given that the age difference between you and some of these women is relatively small. I have a friend who's 48 and getting married for the first time - to a 32-year-old woman. He's not a looker...and he looks his age. He had the opposite problem: he kept getting women 5, 10, 15 or more years younger wanting to go out with him. He nearly turned down his fiance because of their age difference. Granted, he may have had a very good experience in his dating market, and maybe yours is more average or very bad. I'd say keep hunting. This isn't going to be an issue eventually.
GirlontheLam Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 Most of the 40-somethings I know are cleaning up with the younger 30-somethings, so I don't know if it is a real problem of being avoided. Most women I know are open to dating about a 10 year range (for the older men) and half of my friends are currently with people 6-8 years older. But I know at 32, 40 felt waaaaaay too old. And now at 34 it feels more like 41, 42 isn't that much older.
Imported Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 Don't ever let yourself become something like emo-dad Emo Dad | Know Your Meme I do like his poem though, assuming he originated it.
Eternal Sunshine Posted October 27, 2012 Posted October 27, 2012 You know I was in like 3rd grade when you were born? So your father was in 5th? So what you are really trying to say is that you have the female Peter Pan issue: still she yourself as 25? [FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT] So you are making fun of me that I am stuck at 25, yet you are allowed to be stuck in early 30s? Yes, I genuinely think that I look somewhat younger than my age. I know everyone does, but I am like 100% convinced. I don't think I look 25 or early 20s but definitely 25-30. Guys that hit on me are nearly all in that age range so I am just going with the flow. 1
Disenchantedly Yours Posted October 27, 2012 Posted October 27, 2012 I honestly don't know what your problem is. I'm 34 and never had any problems in nailing younger women. And I mean more than 10 years sometimes. I'm guessing that these women weren't all that interested to begin with, but it wasn't made clear until you gave them the excuse to run off. Oohhhh you're such a big stud Shaun-Dro..tell us more about all the younger women you "nail"...oooh you big big stud you...... 2
Disenchantedly Yours Posted October 27, 2012 Posted October 27, 2012 ….but I still went out with women But I am faced with the greatest challenge of my dating life: ageism. It seems that the only women that want me are 47+. I just turned 41 and I do look younger then that (early 30’s). But the last three women I met all freaked out when I told them my age. And they were in their early 30’s. I even had women in their late 30’s tell me I am too old for them. WTF? And before people start going “Well they weren’t that interested in you.” Ehhh no. I spent 3 hrs with one to the point where she kept asking if I was ok dating a taller woman (She was 6’0). But as soon as she found out how old I was she became hostile. And God don’t get me started on OLD. Every woman’s profile on those sites puts their max age at 40. It doesn’t matter if they are 40 themselves. I cant tell you have many women have the age parameters set at 2 up and 15 down. I mean I get it that a 23 yr old would probably not want to date me...but when did it become verboten for a 34 yr old to date someone 41? Why are you only dating women in their early 30's? What about women 40-41 ? I think a lot of women today are tired of the ageism that they've experienced when it comes to men and the way men can sometimes view women concerning age. Which might account for the hostility. Sometimes it seems like men think they are better than women in general because even older men think they deserve younger women. Alot of women don't want to be with men that think they are better than them. They want to be a man's equal. His partner. Not the trophy. You don't understand why someone 34 wouldn't want to date someone 41. But as a 41 year old man would you date a woman who was 49 or 50? Something to think about. How you view that 49/50 year old woman in comparison with your age is probably how the 34 year old woman views you in comparison to your age. 1
TheBigQuestion Posted October 27, 2012 Posted October 27, 2012 My views regarding ageism: If you're a sexy woman aged 18 to 87, I'll hit it. Just gotta be sexy. 1
Disenchantedly Yours Posted October 27, 2012 Posted October 27, 2012 My views regarding ageism: If you're a sexy woman aged 18 to 87, I'll hit it. Just gotta be sexy. Really? So who is the 87 year old woman you wanted to have sex with? On a side note, I hate that expression "hit it". Especially since it's usually guys that use it and it makes it sound like a guy wants to "hit" a woman instead of having sex with her. It's kind of a violent way to describe sex.
Eternal Sunshine Posted October 27, 2012 Posted October 27, 2012 Really? So who is the 87 year old woman you wanted to have sex with? On a side note, I hate that expression "hit it". Especially since it's usually guys that use it and it makes it sound like a guy wants to "hit" a woman instead of having sex with her. It's kind of a violent way to describe sex. I will introduce him to my grandma 2
ja123 Posted October 27, 2012 Posted October 27, 2012 Watch out for people in their forties - they're the worst - often in the throes of mid-life crisis. HAHAHAAAAAAAAA I speak from experience! 2
Anela Posted October 27, 2012 Posted October 27, 2012 Watch out for people in their forties - they're the worst - often in the throes of mid-life crisis. HAHAHAAAAAAAAA I speak from experience! I think I had mine at 35.
Anela Posted October 27, 2012 Posted October 27, 2012 And would I date a women older then me? Of course. There are a ton of older women that I think are sexy as hell, like Nigella Lawson. What I find funny about all the women in their early 30's saying I am too old are probably pursuing men in their mid 20's. I have a couple guys I train with that are 25-27 and they are all sleeping with women in their mid 30’s. And they laugh about it. They say its sooo easy because these women flip over the fact a young guy is pursuing them. It’s so easy to get them to give it up, its like taking candy from a baby. This isn't funny. Why are you only dating women in their early 30's? What about women 40-41 ? I think a lot of women today are tired of the ageism that they've experienced when it comes to men and the way men can sometimes view women concerning age. Which might account for the hostility. Sometimes it seems like men think they are better than women in general because even older men think they deserve younger women. Alot of women don't want to be with men that think they are better than them. They want to be a man's equal. His partner. Not the trophy. You don't understand why someone 34 wouldn't want to date someone 41. But as a 41 year old man would you date a woman who was 49 or 50? Something to think about. How you view that 49/50 year old woman in comparison with your age is probably how the 34 year old woman views you in comparison to your age. Exactly.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted October 27, 2012 Posted October 27, 2012 This isn't funny. It isn't funny. And it's degrading to "laugh" about the people are you choosing to sleep with. It's one thing to just want to sleep with someone with no other strings and be two consenting adults having a good time. It's another to laugh at women that are all of 5 years old than you even while you are sleeping with them. To me, this is less about sex and about trying to feel superior toward women in general. 4
TheBigQuestion Posted October 27, 2012 Posted October 27, 2012 Really? So who is the 87 year old woman you wanted to have sex with? On a side note, I hate that expression "hit it". Especially since it's usually guys that use it and it makes it sound like a guy wants to "hit" a woman instead of having sex with her. It's kind of a violent way to describe sex. 'Twas an exaggerated, self-deprecating way of saying I'm not ageist. 1
40 Fonzarelli Posted October 27, 2012 Posted October 27, 2012 I don't pay attention to age because it can be misleading. Ill date a woman who is 10 yrs older if she still looks good and we click. Same with 10 yrs younger. Everyone ages and matures differently. I think you are not doing yourself a favor when you have strict age limitations.
Els Posted October 27, 2012 Posted October 27, 2012 Oh, so what's wrong with the 47+ year old women who are hitting on you? Could it be their.... age? Sorry, I can't help but laugh at your plight. It's like an Indian saying, "Racism is the worst. I tried asking out ten Brazilian or European women and they all said no. The only people who ever hit on me are fellow Asians. :(" 9
Nyla Posted October 27, 2012 Posted October 27, 2012 Well I would agree with your argument, except that a few of the women that have responded say that they will not go up in age at all but go down quite a few years. That’s ageism. And I as I have said over and over again I have tried to date women that are 38-41 and they told me I WAS TOO OLD!! I keep telling people that I am not trying after women in their 20’s. 30+ is what I am looking for. And I do mean PLUS. As for you 8 yrs is good but 12 would make you feel like your dating you father? I keep hearing that argument over and over again on here, but I keep pointing out that 12 yr older then you is not your father’s age. I was starting elementary school when they were born…but they equate me with their father?!! What kind of twisted ****ing logic is that? No need to get angry. Who cares what I want? It has no effect on your life. You cannot change preferences, whether you agree with them or not. I have had terrible experiences with men who were more than ten years older, so I would steer clear of them if I was single. Most men who only want to date much younger women cannot get a woman their own age. Sometimes it is also because they want someone to control.
Imported Posted October 27, 2012 Posted October 27, 2012 (edited) It is probably not just your age that they are saying no to OP. It doesn't matter what the women here type out on the forum and your experience is specific to you, because my experience on the same thing is different. If they were in to you, then find out your age and reject you........how are you doing as a "provider"? Are you where you want to be career wise? Home owner, cars, money in the bank? Or are you a 41 year old man, living in an apartment, just getting by from paycheck to paycheck working a dead-end job? Edited October 27, 2012 by Imported
KraftDinner Posted October 27, 2012 Posted October 27, 2012 Oh, so what's wrong with the 47+ year old women who are hitting on you? Could it be their.... age? Sorry, I can't help but laugh at your plight. It's like an Indian saying, "Racism is the worst. I tried asking out ten Brazilian or European women and they all said no. The only people who ever hit on me are fellow Asians. :(" I was thinking this as well. Reminds me of those guys who moan that women are so unfair and shallow because they won't date them because they're not very attractive...but then turn around and say 'the only women who want me are uggos.' Ummmmm......... 3
Author LC1976 Posted October 28, 2012 Author Posted October 28, 2012 Wow. I thought this thread died a few days ago. Well anyway. Thank you all for constructive criticisms of me and my choices. But I would to point out one thing: I have dated older then me. I dated a 43 yr old when I was 36. And maybe I shouldnt have just used the 47 as an indicator. But truthfully I didn't find any of them attractive. Does that mean I would never...no of course not. But that's neither here nor there. Thanks again.
Gunny376 Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 I am 33 and I wouldn't date you. I am turned off by older men, in fact, anyone over 35 is a turn off. I usually prefer to date guys that are few years younger. Perhaps I have issues Yes you do, but that's alright because at 33? You've still have options! Just remember that when you're 43, 53, 63 etc. All those good solid quality guys that you passed up because they didn't meet your "Standards" They were too young, too old, too short, too tall, too black, too religious, not religous enough, this or that. I'm 55 pushing 56. Mrs. Gunny is 50. She's no HBX10, has a few pounds on her. She's got some medical issues that come with age. She's not got a PhD, she's not got this nor that TV, Hollyweird says your suppose to have in order to have the "Right Stuff" I've had my share of HBX10, and yada ~ yada. Even dated and gone with not one but two daughters of multi-millionaires. (BTW? If you marry for money? You'll earn EVERY DAMN PENNY OF IT AND THEN SOME!) Dated, lived with women that have college degrees, self supporting, self sufficeient. Mrs Gunny has morals, values, core values, ethics, religoius values, a personal "code" she lives by that she won't compromise for me nor anyone else. She's got experience in and with life ~ she's nobody's fool................ I'm with her because God made her who she is and because of the way her parents raised her! She special and unique! Never before HAS there been such as her NOR will be ANYONE such as her again. I really wished and sincerly wish that her parents were still alive! I'd send them a card, letter, something each and every birthday Mrs Gunny has thanking them for the "Gift" of a daughter they have blessed me with! I'm not really with this femi-nazi crap about women always being right and such? I'm just trying really hard to be pro-active and not re-active in not screwing up what a good thing I've got with Mrs. Gunny! Its hard, damn hard, all day hard for me to find a woman that can and will go with me toe-to-toe with me and my crap and excess luggage. 3
NoMoreJerks Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 All the men I have ever been interested in dating , or have dated / been in a relationshop with, are older than 37. My ex was 40. I don't think it's about ageism. Well, maybe some people are ageist, but I, for one, am not, and on the contrary, am attracted to men who are 5-10 years my senior (not that I look for older specifically -- it just so happens). I'm 29 btw.
Gunny376 Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 Its a physologocal/metal/emotional fact! Woman are about 10 years more emotionally/mentally/psycholocially MORE mature than men there own same age.
Disenchantedly Yours Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 Most men who only want to date much younger women cannot get a woman their own age. Sometimes it is also because they want someone to control. It's kind of true. Like the thread that Ross made where he wants to date younger because he doesn't feel like he is at the same level as women his own age. I suspect that alot of guys feel the same way. So they date younger because they can feel superior.
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