MissJoness Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 So you assume I am uptight? LOL. My friends would have a field day with this one.Yes. Most older men are uptight. Some put up a good facade in the beginning but overtime it wears off and they are back to their usual fuddy duddy selves. Besides I am not looking to date my father.
Author LC1976 Posted October 26, 2012 Author Posted October 26, 2012 Yes. Most older men are uptight. Some put up a good facade in the beginning but overtime it wears off and they are back to their usual fuddy duddy selves. Besides I am not looking to date my father. I hope to God that you are 18-22. Because if you are 30 then you father would have to have been turning 11 if he is my age.
Eternal Sunshine Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 Yes. Most older men are uptight. Some put up a good facade in the beginning but overtime it wears off and they are back to their usual fuddy duddy selves. Besides I am not looking to date my father. Exactly, they act like my dad. They are no fun. All they talk about are mortgages and gardening. 2
Author LC1976 Posted October 26, 2012 Author Posted October 26, 2012 maybe you should try someone who is also 41. or close enough. its not discrimination not wanting to date people out side of your age bracket. i would go up 5 years for anyone even if he was the best guy ever. i find it creepy with older men. So I am supposed to ask every women how old they are, in the hopes that I hit a 41 yr old? Yes because you should never date anyone more the a year older or younger.
GirlontheLam Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 . I just turned 41 and I do look younger then that (early 30’s). But the last three women I met all freaked out when I told them my age. And they were in their early 30’s. I even had women in their late 30’s tell me I am too old for them. WTF? Every woman’s profile on those sites puts their max age at 40. It doesn’t matter if they are 40 themselves. I cant tell you have many women have the age parameters set at 2 up and 15 down. I mean I get it that a 23 yr old would probably not want to date me...but when did it become verboten for a 34 yr old to date someone 41? Well I am 34 and I am always on the fence about dating someone over 40. 40 feels like a "lifetime away" for me. It really depends on where they are in their life. Do we feel like we are in the same phase or not. I tend to have an ideal range of about 5 years younger, 5 years older. And the family thing makes sense, especially since women tend to die 7 years later than the men. But I think for me, the real reason is related to something completely stupid. Well 2 things: a. I look pretty young for my age, so I am a little weirded out by the 40 somethings that hit on me, considering most people call me 25-27 tops. I usually think they might be the type that likes to manipulate younger women. b. most of the time people under 30 hit on me (well because I look their age). It is very rare that people who "look 40" hit on me. That being said, I've got a little flirtation going on with a hot 41 year old guy right now. Who knows where that might go. But I thought he was my age. There feels like there is a bit of an age gap with the cultural references, but not too much.
GirlontheLam Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 I am 33 and I wouldn't date you. I am turned off by older men, in fact, anyone over 35 is a turn off. I usually prefer to date guys that are few years younger. Perhaps I have issues I wouldn't seriously date mid 20s guys either. More like 29-33 is my preferred age. I had a premonition as a 10 year old that I'd end up with a younger man. Obviously this makes no sense at all, but I have had a lot of those weird dreams that became true...so you never know. There is probably a reason that mostly 27-29 year olds hit on me.
Author LC1976 Posted October 26, 2012 Author Posted October 26, 2012 Exactly, they act like my dad. They are no fun. All they talk about are mortgages and gardening. You know I was in like 3rd grade when you were born? So your father was in 5th? So what you are really trying to say is that you have the female Peter Pan issue: still she yourself as 25? [FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT]
iris219 Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 What do you have against dating 41 year olds? Your age isn't going to bother them.
Author LC1976 Posted October 26, 2012 Author Posted October 26, 2012 You know I was in like 3rd grade when you were born? So your father was in 5th? So what you are really trying to say is that you have the female Peter Pan issue: still she yourself as 25?
MissJoness Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 So I am supposed to ask every women how old they are, in the hopes that I hit a 41 yr old? Yes because you should never date anyone more the a year older or younger. Perhaps you should stop dating women who look like they are in their early-mid 20s. That's a start. It's my personal preference to date guys in my own age range. I am not really attracted to older men, especially ones in their late 40s. Typically, most men that age should be married and not on the dating scene. When guys that age approach me, I think its very weird and creepy. I have nothing in common with them and i presume they just want to date me to see if they still "got it". I want no part of that
Feelin Frisky Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 Three women? Freaked out? Go back on the Paxil. Three women is not enough to have a meltdown over. You're going to get older--not younger, so I suggest you alter your expectations. You didn't say that you had told them you're 41 just after you told them that you live in your parents basement and hit the bong once or twice every day before looking for landscaping work. (Just kidding). Not kidding about the Paxil though. Sounds like you're "freaking out" and do need to change your expectations, where you are looking to meet or both. 1
Author LC1976 Posted October 26, 2012 Author Posted October 26, 2012 What do you have against dating 41 year olds? Your age isn't going to bother them. I don't have an issue, but I am not going to focus on looking for someone exactly my age. That like looking for someone that is exactly 6'2.5...nothing lower or nothing higher. If I meet someone my age, then great.
Author LC1976 Posted October 26, 2012 Author Posted October 26, 2012 Three women? Freaked out? Go back on the Paxil. Three women is not enough to have a meltdown over. You're going to get older--not younger, so I suggest you alter your expectations. You didn't say that you had told them you're 41 just after you told them that you live in your parents basement and hit the bong once or twice every day before looking for landscaping work. (Just kidding). Not kidding about the Paxil though. Sounds like you're "freaking out" and do need to change your expectations, where you are looking to meet or both. Thanks for the laugh.
sweetkiwi Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 being with an older guy doesn't make me feel older. Makes me feel...like me? I don't date people that make me feel better about me or they'd all be ugly overweight losers who have no brains or charm. I'd be a ****ing supermodel then!! I date people who i like. Who interest me. Who are funny and happy and have a certain understanding that cannot be learned or taught. And some guys don't like me. Who cares. There are way more that do, or will. I guess thats the benefit me never relying on my age or looks or education or income. Because to me that **** means less than nothing. Once we realize we are all temporary physical beings and start living for the joy of it and for the experiences that is when we will be free. That is when we will develop our soul, our energy!! 2
ThaWholigan Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 And would I date a women older then me? Of course. There are a ton of older women that I think are sexy as hell, like Nigella Lawson. What I find funny about all the women in their early 30's saying I am too old are probably pursuing men in their mid 20's. I have a couple guys I train with that are 25-27 and they are all sleeping with women in their mid 30’s. And they laugh about it. They say its sooo easy because these women flip over the fact a young guy is pursuing them. It’s so easy to get them to give it up, its like taking candy from a baby. Nigella Lawson is the quintessential MILF
FitChick Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 This is why you shouldn't tell your age unless you are in a serious relationship or want to have kids. It's irrelevant otherwise. Health, appearance and attitude are more important than a birthday.
Author LC1976 Posted October 26, 2012 Author Posted October 26, 2012 This is why you shouldn't tell your age unless you are in a serious relationship or want to have kids. It's irrelevant otherwise. Health, appearance and attitude are more important than a birthday. I totally agree with you last statement. But how do you avoid the issue when it comes up? Thanks everyone for their input. Some of it was very helpful; while others was just bizarre
Author LC1976 Posted October 26, 2012 Author Posted October 26, 2012 Nothing is absolute, there are a lot of fellas on this forum that walk a fine line and need to be asking age-and checkin' IDs. But its seems their a quite a few women on this thread that speak in absolutes. 1
Nyla Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 (edited) I don't think that choosing not to date someone significantly older is "ageism". It is a personal preference, just like you prefer younger partners. I have had the experience of being abused and controlled by men who were a lot older than I. My husband is 8 years my senior, which is a comfortable gap for me. He isn't old enough to be my dad, but he is old enough to be more mature. Maybe those who reject you may be afraid of being manipulated; maybe they had bad experiences with older partners before. Edited October 26, 2012 by Nyla
Author LC1976 Posted October 26, 2012 Author Posted October 26, 2012 I don't think that choosing not to date someone significantly older is "ageism". It is a personal preference, just like you prefer younger partners. I have had the experience of being abused and controlled by men who were a lot older than I. My husband is 8 years my senior, which is a comfortable gap for me. He isn't old enough to be my dad, but he is old enough to be more mature. Maybe those who reject you may be afraid of being manipulated. Well I would agree with your argument, except that a few of the women that have responded say that they will not go up in age at all but go down quite a few years. That’s ageism. And I as I have said over and over again I have tried to date women that are 38-41 and they told me I WAS TOO OLD!! I keep telling people that I am not trying after women in their 20’s. 30+ is what I am looking for. And I do mean PLUS. As for you 8 yrs is good but 12 would make you feel like your dating you father? I keep hearing that argument over and over again on here, but I keep pointing out that 12 yr older then you is not your father’s age. I was starting elementary school when they were born…but they equate me with their father?!! What kind of twisted ****ing logic is that?
pteromom Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 Age isn't something I even think about - unless it is extreme, like the 21 year old who flirts with me at the grocery store, or the 80 year old guy who talks about how pretty I am. There's either a connection or not. That said - I am 44 and beyond childbearing years, so if I found myself single, that stuff wouldn't be on my radar. If I was 35 and my biological clock was ticking, I would want someone around my age. Although I don't think 41 is too far off that. At any rate, everyone has their own opinions about what they want, and you just gotta keep trying until you find someone you want who wants you back. 1
mesmerized Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 Op both men and women find aging an scary thing and usually being with an older partner makes them feel even older. It sucks I understand. I suggest you take good care of your looks and present yourself well. That would make people notice your age less. The right woman isnt going to freak out about 5 or 6 years age difference.
EasyHeart Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 There are no rules about whom we want to date. If someone doesn't want to date you because she thinks you are too old for her, that is her choice. Just as it's your choice to not date someone who you think is too old. Or too young or too fat or too tall or whatever. Personally, I have lots of rules about whom I won't date. My Rule No. 1 is that I absolutely refuse to date anyone with a penis. Is that "penis-ism"? 2
SmileFace Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 There are no rules about whom we want to date. If someone doesn't want to date you because she thinks you are too old for her, that is her choice. Just as it's your choice to not date someone who you think is too old. Or too young or too fat or too tall or whatever. Personally, I have lots of rules about whom I won't date. My Rule No. 1 is that I absolutely refuse to date anyone with a penis. Is that "penis-ism"? Oh, no you suffer from straight - which is pretty rare. You should get that checked out. 2
Recommended Posts