Jump to content

Ageism...it sucks


While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Posted

I see a ton of threads on here bemoaning being short, being overweight, having social anxiety and everything else. But let me tell you ageism is the worst. I have been fat and still got women, I am 5’8.5 and dated women that are 5’10 and almost landed a 6’3 girl once. And for a short time in my 20’s I suffered really bad social anxiety, so much so that I went on Paxil for a few months….but I still went out with women

But I am faced with the greatest challenge of my dating life: ageism. It seems that the only women that want me are 47+. I just turned 41 and I do look younger then that (early 30’s). But the last three women I met all freaked out when I told them my age. And they were in their early 30’s. I even had women in their late 30’s tell me I am too old for them. WTF?

 

And before people start going “Well they weren’t that interested in you.” Ehhh no. I spent 3 hrs with one to the point where she kept asking if I was ok dating a taller woman (She was 6’0). But as soon as she found out how old I was she became hostile. And God don’t get me started on OLD. Every woman’s profile on those sites puts their max age at 40. It doesn’t matter if they are 40 themselves. I cant tell you have many women have the age parameters set at 2 up and 15 down. I mean I get it that a 23 yr old would probably not want to date me...but when did it become verboten for a 34 yr old to date someone 41?

Posted
It seems that the only women that want me are 47+.

 

Yeah, ageism against you is the worst.

  • Like 10
Posted

just depends on the girl. I like older men. I'm 25 and when i was 24 i dated a 42 year old. I don't really look at age. Unless they are older than my parents. Which would be too much.

 

I think its silly of these women to become hostile because of your age. What if you freaked out because they had small boobs or had kids? Silliness. Sorry for that experience.

  • Like 1
Posted (edited)
23 y.o probably not want to date me...but when did it become verboten for a 34 yr old to date someone 41?

 

That is fair. Women have the same problems.

I am in 40s too.

A 23 y.o would not want to date me but he does want to be my FWB/ONS.

A 34 y.o wants to be only my FWB/ONS as well.

All quality men of my age want women only in 30s.

That is why women in 47+ want you. It is because no quality man wants them because of their age.

Edited by bac
Posted

Some women in their mid 30s still want to have kids, but they have to factor in that it takes a few years to ensure that the relationship is going well, then there is engagement/marriage, then the kids come - so that's about 3-4 years (with everything going smoothly and things being quite fast tracked) maybe.

 

So maybe they worry that the guy that's 41 now will not want to be a dad at 45.

 

I dunno, I'm just guessing here, I could be wrong.

Posted
30 looking for a mature free-spirited 25-30 :p

 

>>taking applications<<

 

If I were single! ;)

 

OP, what about women in your own age group? Like, ya know, late thirties to early forties? Is it that imperative that you date someone 7+ years younger than you? I also agree that women in their early/mid thirties might still have hopes of having a family and feel that you're too old to be a dad.

  • Like 2
Posted
30 looking for a mature free-spirited 25-30 :p

 

>>taking applications<<

you're only 30?

 

 

Way too young for me

Posted
you're only 30?

 

 

Way too young for me

 

Didn't you just say in another thread that your BF is 29?? :confused:

Posted
Some women in their mid 30s still want to have kids, but they have to factor in that it takes a few years to ensure that the relationship is going well, then there is engagement/marriage, then the kids come - so that's about 3-4 years (with everything going smoothly and things being quite fast tracked) maybe.

 

So maybe they worry that the guy that's 41 now will not want to be a dad at 45.

 

I dunno, I'm just guessing here, I could be wrong.

 

This makes sense. I already have kids. I don't want more:) If I were single and wanted kids, I would prefer a man 35 or younger. I think it's just provides the best chance for a healthy child, plus, kids can be exhausting! I would a father that can be active with the kids for as long as possible. Having said that, there are plenty of under 35 women who won't care either way.

  • Like 1
Posted
If-Ifs and buts were candy and nuts, we'd all have a merry Christmas.

But, thank you for your consideration Ma'am. :bunny:

 

??

 

Your teddy bear is neat looking, though:)

Posted

yes hawaii50 he is 29. Thats why its funny!! I'm just kidding sweetheart. I would totally consider you. You already make me laugh. You're half way there. And you don't balk at my overtly sexual posts. And you grow natural goodies! Whats your sign.

Posted

I am 33 and I wouldn't date you. I am turned off by older men, in fact, anyone over 35 is a turn off. I usually prefer to date guys that are few years younger. Perhaps I have issues :confused:

  • Like 1
Posted

Virgo. I really enjoy plants.. if it's tastes good, smells good, looks good, or makes you FEEL good.. it's in my garden ;)

Yikes....... :-/

Posted

You are too old for me. older men tend to be very controlling, and uptight.

Posted
Usually people are pretty stoked when they find out I'm a Virgo, cause supposedly they were right in their assumption.

 

so.. um.. what's the yikes for? do tell :D

Not when you are a fellow virgo. Crazy enough the Virgo males on this board seem the most sane. Granted I never really even care enough to assume.

  • Author
Posted
I am 33 and I wouldn't date you. I am turned off by older men, in fact, anyone over 35 is a turn off. I usually prefer to date guys that are few years younger. Perhaps I have issues :confused:

 

Hahha. Whats funny is that you would think I was around your age or younger then you. I just had two female coworkers (who are in their later 20's) tell me that I shouldnt be wasting time with women older then me (when I mentioned trying to talk to a 38 yr old). And that I should date someone a few years younger then me...like hit up a couple colleges was thier suggestion.

  • Author
Posted
You are too old for me. older men tend to be very controlling, and uptight.

 

So you assume I am uptight? LOL. My friends would have a field day with this one.

  • Author
Posted

And would I date a women older then me? Of course. There are a ton of older women that I think are sexy as hell, like Nigella Lawson.

 

What I find funny about all the women in their early 30's saying I am too old are probably pursuing men in their mid 20's.

 

I have a couple guys I train with that are 25-27 and they are all sleeping with women in their mid 30’s. And they laugh about it. They say its sooo easy because these women flip over the fact a young guy is pursuing them. It’s so easy to get them to give it up, its like taking candy from a baby.

  • Like 1
Posted

I have a couple guys I train with that are 25-27 and they are all sleeping with women in their mid 30’s. And they laugh about it. They say its sooo easy because these women flip over the fact a young guy is pursuing them. It’s so easy to get them to give it up, its like taking candy from a baby.

 

Very likely the ladies are thinking the same thing about your friends.

 

I dunno, I know it sucks to have people not want to date you for what feels like a superficial reason. But you do seem to be overlooking the irony of it all...you want to date younger women, they want to date younger men. I mean...

  • Like 1
Posted

I wouldn't seriously date mid 20s guys either. More like 29-33 is my preferred age.

  • Author
Posted
Very likely the ladies are thinking the same thing about your friends.

 

I dunno, I know it sucks to have people not want to date you for what feels like a superficial reason. But you do seem to be overlooking the irony of it all...you want to date younger women, they want to date younger men. I mean...

 

You are probably right. But what I find so funny is that many of these women start thinking that they are going to have a relationship with these guys. They always respond "Yeah like I would date someone their age?"

 

And to me younger isnt 38-40. Its early 30's and 20's. And I have tried dating that age (38-42). And they are totally down with it becuase they think I am younger, but once I tell them my age...bye bye. And I just turn 41 like a month ago.

  • Author
Posted
I wouldn't seriously date mid 20s guys either. More like 29-33 is my preferred age.

 

So you would go down...but not up?

Posted

maybe you should try someone who is also 41. or close enough.

 

its not discrimination not wanting to date people out side of your age bracket. i would go up 5 years for anyone even if he was the best guy ever. i find it creepy with older men.

Posted

If you think thats bad, wait till you start looking real old.

 

im 25 and my limit is 35. why? because i said so....j/k ... i think that 10 years is a good difference. not to high not to low. anything over would take high consideration. it would have to be someone that would want to be with a woman in her 20's still learning from life. its also the factor of marriage and children and so on so forth... but i dont really believe in signing papers and i already have a child sooooo ...

Posted

I'll take old, alive and discriminated against any day of the week, versus the alternative.

 

Everyone is entitled to their preferences. No one is harmed by them. The universe doesn't owe us companions.

×
×
  • Create New...