Ross MwcFan Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 Does it usally happen by the guy and the woman ending up becoming friends and then it just naturally happens from there on it's own? (which I suspect). Or does it usually happen by the guy and the woman flirting with each other and the guy then asking her out before they properly know each other, and then the relationship naturally happens from there?
Hawaii50 Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 I cannot fathom that it would be any different than any where else in the world... Besides you're in the UK, shouldn't you know this?!
Author Ross MwcFan Posted October 26, 2012 Author Posted October 26, 2012 I cannot fathom that it would be any different than any where else in the world... Besides you're in the UK, shouldn't you know this?! No, because I've never had a relationship before or experienced any kind of sexual/romantic interest from women before. So I've got no idea how they usually happen, or if it happens any differently in other parts of the world, since cultures are different from country to country.
Hawaii50 Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 No, because I've never had a relationship before or experienced any kind of sexual/romantic interest from women before. So I've got no idea how they usually happen, or if it happens any differently in other parts of the world, since cultures are different from country to country. Still can't imagine the UK being any different than the US, though. Same sort of thing.. I think more often than not boy meets girl and they get to know a little bit about each other over a few dates, or while doing something arbitrary together like work or a place they both frequent. They fall in "like" and progress from there.. learning and experiencing more about each other in every way, the friendship will ideally form parallel with the love. ...or dissolved somewhere in that process.
Silly_Girl Posted October 27, 2012 Posted October 27, 2012 From what I see there is usually a spark of interest from the off, as opposed to a solid friendship turning romantic. It can be hard to get frisky if you've established a close but platonic connection. 1
spiderowl Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 Interesting question, Ross, which made me think. I guess marriages are probably relationships that have lasted some time, long enough for people to feel committed to each other at some point anyway, so I used them as an example. Of four random marriages I can think of, both people knew each other as friends for some time before they got together as more. They just ended up spending more and more time with each other and at some point it turned romantic. I don't actually know any relationships that developed from asking someone out cold, so to speak. 2
Author Ross MwcFan Posted October 28, 2012 Author Posted October 28, 2012 Interesting question, Ross, which made me think. I guess marriages are probably relationships that have lasted some time, long enough for people to feel committed to each other at some point anyway, so I used them as an example. Of four random marriages I can think of, both people knew each other as friends for some time before they got together as more. They just ended up spending more and more time with each other and at some point it turned romantic. I don't actually know any relationships that developed from asking someone out cold, so to speak. So I guess a good way for me to get a girlfriend/relationship, would be to make loads and loads of friends with women, and then hopefully one of those friendships will naturally turn into a relationship without me really putting any thought into it?
Emilia Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 Good question Ross, it is different in the UK than what I read about the US on here. In the US people appear to date almost casually and a large amount even if they don't have interest in the person that much, it's almost like a sport or practice. In the UK, in my experience it's much more reserved. I certainly don't go on coffee dates with men I don't know. I usually meet new people during a surf or sailing trip let's say or through friends. There is attraction in a small percentage of cases and when we are both single, we tend to keep in touch. From there more socialising tends to emerge (timeline depending on how well we get on via chatting or how strong the attraction is) and after hanging out with friends a couple more times, the guy and I end up doing stuff on our own. More often than not alcohol being involved, this is the UK after all I don't think I've ever had an alcohol free first date. For the more reserved that's just not natural From what I read here, I imagine in the US people sometimes go 'do you want to go on a date'? In London it's more like 'fancy a beer on Friday, I haven't got any plans' then you sort of go from there as it gets physical by the end of the evening. 2
Author Ross MwcFan Posted October 28, 2012 Author Posted October 28, 2012 Good question Ross, it is different in the UK than what I read about the US on here. In the US people appear to date almost casually and a large amount even if they don't have interest in the person that much, it's almost like a sport or practice. In the UK, in my experience it's much more reserved. I certainly don't go on coffee dates with men I don't know. I usually meet new people during a surf or sailing trip let's say or through friends. There is attraction in a small percentage of cases and when we are both single, we tend to keep in touch. From there more socialising tends to emerge (timeline depending on how well we get on via chatting or how strong the attraction is) and after hanging out with friends a couple more times, the guy and I end up doing stuff on our own. More often than not alcohol being involved, this is the UK after all I don't think I've ever had an alcohol free first date. For the more reserved that's just not natural From what I read here, I imagine in the US people sometimes go 'do you want to go on a date'? In London it's more like 'fancy a beer on Friday, I haven't got any plans' then you sort of go from there as it gets physical by the end of the evening. I much more like the sound of the British way of dating. I guess it's quite common for it to be at the pub when they have a beer? The American way sounds way too formal, uptight, and unatural for my liking.
Rubyemerald Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 Me and my boyfriend became good friends (with sex added) before we discussed our relationship being serious. Once we were 'out in the open' and 'official' we carried on just as we were before, buy boyfriend and girlfriend not...in limbo. 1
Emilia Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 I much more like the sound of the British way of dating. I guess it's quite common for it to be at the pub when they have a beer? The American way sounds way too formal, uptight, and unatural for my liking. Yes I find the British way (or the London way as it is probably more liberal than in smaller towns) much more natural. It kind of develops from mutual attraction - not always though and that can be frustrating. Definitely prefer it over anything formal or forced though. I think that's partly because multi-dating isn't common (except for in OLD) so you want to know the basket you put your eggs into first.
Emilia Posted October 29, 2012 Posted October 29, 2012 Having lived and had relationships in both the UK and the US, I would say the two countries are very different. In the US we do "date" but it's just that. In the UK "date" is often equated with sex (Eddie Izzard's bit about asking someone out for coffee is a great example of how dates are viewed in the UK). In the US you go out for coffee, and actually have coffee. Yes I think it's an important point. I don't see the point in having a date unless I want to sleep with the person. I only date men I want to have sex with. That doesn't mean it will happen on the first date but it always gets physical to a degree. I've never had a bona fide 'date' that ended with a peck on the cheek.
Author Ross MwcFan Posted October 29, 2012 Author Posted October 29, 2012 Yes I think it's an important point. I don't see the point in having a date unless I want to sleep with the person. I only date men I want to have sex with. That doesn't mean it will happen on the first date but it always gets physical to a degree. I've never had a bona fide 'date' that ended with a peck on the cheek. Exactly. Not much point in dating someone who you're not sexually attracted to.
akshaypurswani Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 Hmm, I just suggest you that you should follow a guydline written by Melany Berger. there are so much pretty interesting stories of relationship mishaps in uk and for making better relationship advice. you will find your answer there.
movingon12 Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 I would agree with the main differences that people have highlighted: In the UK, generally - "dating" more than one person at the time is rare - dates are far, far more likely to take place in a bar/pub - as a result: 'fancy a drink sometime?' is probably the most common phrase used to propose a 'date' - women don't agree to go out with someone someone unless they are already very interested (I've seen posts on here from women going on multiple dates with a guy, to see if he 'grows on her'.) - 2nd dates only happen if the first date went really well - as a result: sex on the 2nd/3rd date is standard As for 'friends first' - it depends on your age. Bear in mind that the majority of people (at least in the UK) end up marrying people they meet at either Uni or at work. So it's probably true that people know each other before they start dating, but I don't agree that they "will naturally turn into a relationship without me really putting any thought into it". It still requires thought - perhaps, more, because you're risking a friendship/working relationship.
HeavenOrHell Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 Uhm, we're not all like that, I don't know any women here who are, but then I don't mix in shallow circles, I know they do exist though Find it hard to believe there aren't ONS types in the US though! I was rather surprised at how quickly women were willing to go home with men simply on the basis of physical attraction. I'm definitely no prude, but I, personally, like to find out whether the contents of the package align with the packaging itself before I make that leap. That's where dating comes in.
Nightsky Posted December 22, 2012 Posted December 22, 2012 I will share the "trick" of how relationships usually happen. $3,000.00 USD. You won't regret it. Will be the best money you ever spent. The kinds of relationships you will be able to have can only be described with one word... "lovely" it will be "lovely" relationships for you sir after you cough of the needed funds for my "trick."
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