xdahliax Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 I have no problem with dating any race. Though realistically, interracial dating is actually rare (though white man asian woman seems to be the most common interracial pairing I've seen) for one women of other races just may simply not find a man from another race attractive as people of their own race, also racist ideas still exist, and while not as much as the past their could be still social and family issues as a result of the relationship or she could feel like that could happen. All of this limits options for someone pursuing an interracial relationship. I see plenty of black males with white females (understatement of the year, BTW), and a lower but increasing number of white males with black females. I don't think that it should limit you that much, especially considering that your social circle is associating with you. I assume that people who are not racist are generally unlikely to associate with racist people.
GirlontheLam Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 Never in my history of people I know, has anyone ever cold approached. All the guys I know who are successful with women do it through social circles, myself included. Outside of the pua community, I don't think I've even heard the idea of cold approaching mentioned. I think it happens more in "big metro areas" with a lot of transplants. I have made "cold approach" friendships. Lots of people with no social circles, so they look for ways to make connections where they can.
GirlontheLam Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 I've seen guys who can cold approach women but it requires alot of charisma or you have to be extremely attractive. Not really. You basically need to be "likeable" and make people feel safe and at ease quickly. Sort of like being trustworthy. But not quite. The cold approachers that are successful make people feel comfortable and open quickly.
Author Necris Posted October 26, 2012 Author Posted October 26, 2012 I see plenty of black males with white females (understatement of the year, BTW), and a lower but increasing number of white males with black females. I don't think that it should limit you that much, especially considering that your social circle is associating with you. I assume that people who are not racist are generally unlikely to associate with racist people. They don't have to be racist, but they may just not find a person of another race sexually appealing/attractive. From what I can tell interracial relationships are rare and statistically speaking also not very common as well. Now this doesn't stop me from talking to them but it doesn't seem to ever go anywhere, though it may just be me.
GirlontheLam Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 You don't have to be super attractive but if you aren't super attractive you need alot of charisma/swagger/game etc. Anyway on the subject of Social Circle, one of the problems I may have with social circle approach is that I'm Black and my social circle is mostly White so that would severely limit options. I agree. (Saying this as a black woman with a wide mix of friends) There is a smaller portion of white people that actually setup their white friends with non-white people. Even if they have lots of non-white close friends. For many of them, one of the "matching" criteria is being of the same ethnic group. And when they do want to set you up is starts with "I know this XYZ person (aka your ethnic group) who is kinda like you." And if you ever take them up on it, well they are usually all wrong. In fact, you'd really need to scream that you are open people not of your ethnicity. And I live in an area with loads of interracial couples. The only friend introduced interracial couples I can think of are the ones where one person expressedly had a preference for a particular group. You know, that person known as the person who only dates XYZ people. Other regions are much much worse. Especially since there is an unspoken social pressure that tells you the most important thing to have in common with someone is shared culture and traditions.
GirlontheLam Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 I see plenty of black males with white females (understatement of the year, BTW), and a lower but increasing number of white males with black females. I don't think that it should limit you that much, especially considering that your social circle is associating with you. I assume that people who are not racist are generally unlikely to associate with racist people. Where I live, the black female/white male thing is fairly common. I wouldn't be shocked if the number was 20% for people under 35 or 40. Lots of mixing. (And lots of kids of this combo too, well as I assume if I see a biracial looking baby in a stroller with a white male/black woman. )
Author Necris Posted October 26, 2012 Author Posted October 26, 2012 (edited) Not really. You basically need to be "likeable" and make people feel safe and at ease quickly. Sort of like being trustworthy. But not quite. The cold approachers that are successful make people feel comfortable and open quickly. That's a part of the charisma I was talking about. Edited October 26, 2012 by Necris
GirlontheLam Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 That's a part of the charisma I was talking about. I think of charisma as a bit different. Like not only likeable, but manages to draw people in, and get the whole room to be paying attention. Likeable may or may not be paired with charisma. You can be likeable with out drawing the attention of everyone in the room. Aka, good with individuals or on a one on one. Like Bill Clinton is charismatic. I am not sure if Oprah is, but she is very likeable.
ScreamingTrees Posted October 27, 2012 Posted October 27, 2012 If you think about it, how much is there to a cold approach? Necris, you're already doing most of the work involved, if you didn't already realize it.. Whenever you feel you're ready, the next time you find yourself in an every-day conversation with a girl and she seems friendly and attentive to you with a friendly back and forth flow, why not nonchalantly take it a step further and ask her for her number? That's really all there is left to do to successfully pull off a cold approach.. The hardest part is going up to them and actually having a nice conversation to feel them out..
Author Necris Posted October 27, 2012 Author Posted October 27, 2012 If you think about it, how much is there to a cold approach? Necris, you're already doing most of the work involved, if you didn't already realize it.. Whenever you feel you're ready, the next time you find yourself in an every-day conversation with a girl and she seems friendly and attentive to you with a friendly back and forth flow, why not nonchalantly take it a step further and ask her for her number? That's really all there is left to do to successfully pull off a cold approach.. The hardest part is going up to them and actually having a nice conversation to feel them out.. Actually that's what I already do unfortunately it is extremely rare for a girl to give me any contact info after talking to her, and when I do get contact info she'll make sure not to reply, but oh well.
ScreamingTrees Posted October 27, 2012 Posted October 27, 2012 Actually that's what I already do unfortunately it is extremely rare for a girl to give me any contact info after talking to her, and when I do get contact info she'll make sure not to reply, but oh well. Well, on the bright side, most guys wouldn't have the balls to even get that far, and they sit around forever wondering in their fantasy land.. At least you've made progress, you can still do so, it's all up to you. Gotta figure out what might work better than what you're doing, then, but you're picking up useful skills along the way so that when the right person comes along, you'll be more than prepared.
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