so confused! Ex made a move on me last nite, i declined.. did i do the right thing?

[confusedmind]

hey guys i am sooo confused and would love some advice.

 

my ex boyfriend and myself broke up in january after being together for 8 months. he was the one that broke it off saying "that he still likes me, but this is just something hes gotta do for himself, so much uni work blah blah". I was pretty hard broken but of course i didn't let that show... i made out i was fine.

 

Since then we've been out places and something has always ended up happening between us. Ie - sex...

Theres both good and bad things about that... pros are that i still like him and i still get to be with him, cons are all the history - i dont just wanna be a girl for him to call on when he wants some action.... I don't know if thats how he takes it because i'm usually the one that invites him out in the first place, but he always makes the moves on me, not me.

 

Anyway, last night we went out clubbing and he was saying how good i looked etc etc to everyone and to me, and he tried to hold my hand but as soon as he went for it i like it away. It was so hard to do that cause i still feel sooo much for the guy, but i don't wanna be screwed around and used!!! He was soo cut that i did it and went all quiet and didn't really talk to me.. he knew somethin was up with me. I think it caught him off guard, i don't think he was expecting it at all! it felt pretty good to do it... but i can't help but regret it because i wanna be with him! what if that was my last chance and i screwed it up?!?!

 

I have no idea whats going on inside his head... can anyone help me analyze what he wants? and also whether i did the right thing?? What should i do next!?! ARGH SO CONFUSED

 

cheers guys, have a good one

[uriel]

Of course he's been using you for sex. He likes the companionship too. But, he didn't want to be tied down. He still doesn't, or he'd ask for you to be his girlfriend again.

 

So, three cheers for your pulling back and not letting him get away with it. Now keep that up. He'll either decide he's got to get you back or that he better go sniffing around some other skirt for regular nookie. Either way, you won't be the casual go-to girl anymore.

 

-- uriel

[dreamguy]

Just another guy's take on this.

I agree with everything Uriel said 100%

[bambi_4]

How is it going for you now??

[confusedmind]

Hey, yeah pretty well thanks. i'm staying strong and i haven't messaged him. At the start it was really hard not to message him but i forced myself not to and i'm glad now that i didn't. I know that i have control over things, and he knows that he can't just play me around when he feels like it. thanks for all your help!

[bambi_4]

Well done, you are very strong.