PK Posted August 1, 2004 Posted August 1, 2004 I am going to ask out a girl who is a diabetic. I know she likes me and is interested in spending time with me. But I'm sure what type of date to plan and I don't want to make her feel bad by asking what her limitations are. I did some research on diabetes and found out some good stuff, like if they are active they have to have snack, test their blood sugar at meals, abstain from sweets (unless sugar free). I wanted to ask her to a walk and lunch, but wasn't sure if she would be up for that. She hasn't told me she is diabetic, but I did see her insulin and blood check kit while visiting one day, and once when we went out to lunch in a group she was checking her blood sugar before we arrived. I don't want to reach to far, but it seemed like she was embarassed about it. She's a wonderful girl and seems like great person to get to know. How do you all think I should approach this. Also I found out through a friend she takes medicine for high anixety, but I'm not sure if that is because of the diabetes.
Lilyann Posted August 1, 2004 Posted August 1, 2004 PK, I am diabetic, so I hope this helps. She is able to go on a walk and have lunch. I would go ahead and plan this. As in what to eat, just plan healthy foods. I would advice getting take out then poss. eating outside (did you want a picnic?) since sometimes it is hard to plan what to eat. Let me know if this helps. Lilyann
Author PK Posted August 1, 2004 Author Posted August 1, 2004 Yeah it does, at first I thought she may not be able to do much because of diabetes. But doing research and getting confirmation from you helps. Also should I let her bring it up or should I? It really doesn't matter to me if she does have diabetes, I just want to make her comfortable. I don't know much about it though, like when blood sugars are to be checked, and when diabetics take insulin. I can understand how doing those things would be awkward in front of someone new. A picnic maybe a little to initimate for a first date, but we do have really pretty parks where I live and it would easy to go for a walk afterwards... Also what about sweets are they forbidden? Like we couldn't go get ice cream or share dessert. Not a big deal, but it would be a good idea to know not to bring it up if we can't. Also anything else you could think of would help. Thank you Lilyann, btw I really like your name.
Curt Posted August 1, 2004 Moderators Posted August 1, 2004 Man.... I'm really hoping you both get along fabulously. You seem really focused on giving her a great time, and making sure she's healthy, happy and comfortable. Way to go man! Keep us informed of how it goes. Curt
HokeyReligions Posted August 2, 2004 Posted August 2, 2004 My husband is diabetic. I think its very nice of you to be so concerned for her health. She is used to managing her diabetes and can probably find food to eat in most restaurants. If you are planning on going on a picnic and bringing the food - it would be courteous to ask anyone what their food preferences are before packing a lunch. You can mention you noticed her blood testing kid and ask her if you are right in assuming she is diabetic, and ask her if she has a preference for desserts or wine or whatever, but just being polite about asking her where/what she would like to eat should be sufficient. Maybe on your 3rd or 4th date you can talk to her about her diabetes and tell her you don't know that much about the disease and let her share with you how it affects her. Exercise is good for everyone -- especially diabetics, so a walk would probably be perfect!
quankanne Posted August 2, 2004 Posted August 2, 2004 I don't know much about it though, like when blood sugars are to be checked Doctors will tell their patients how often then need to check their blood sugars. I had one nurse tell me to check twice a day -- at breakfast and dinner one day, then at lunch and bedtime the next, alternating each day. The last time I went for a follow-up exam, the nurse suggested that because I'm on insulin and because my doctor had me taking a split-level dosage of my 24-hour insulin, I really should monitor my blood four times a day, at meals and at bedtime. and when diabetics take insulin Again, a doctor will prescribe an insulin regimen when all else seems to be ineffective. Typically, when a person is diagnosed diabetic, his or her doctor will have them get on a better diet and exercise regimen. If that doesn't seem to be doing the trick by the time the patient returns for a follow-up visit (usually three months later), the doctor can prescribe oral medication in addition to the suggested D&E regimen and will have the patient meet with a diabetes educator to better understand how a diabetic's body metabolizes food and how that patient can control the disease better. The doctor will meet with the patient every three to four months, ordering blood work each time to determine if that patient's regimen is working. Often, the diet, exercise and pill plan work IF THE PATIENT STICKS WITH IT and THEIR BODY RESPONDS THE WAY IT OUGHT TO. Those of us on insulin are so because our bodies either don't produce this hormone or produce enough of it to be effective, so we need those shots to help our bodies do what it can't. There are two types of insulins a diabetic can use: one is short-acting (stuff like Humalog and Humulin), the other is long-term (Lantus), and the doctor will prescribe one or both, depending on that particular patient's needs. The short-acting insulin is taken at mealtime; the long-term stuff is taken once daily, or the doctor will have the patient take a split dosage (X-amount every 12 hours). The severity of the problem will dictate the number of insulin shots a person needs. Some people can control the disease with just one shot, while others are taking four or five (at mealtimes and at bedtime, or at mealtimes and split-dosing the around-the-clock insulin). It's encouraging that you want to educate yourself about this disease, and your friend will very much appreciate that you are taking her needs into consideration, especially when it comes to sweets or snack (always a hard thing to control, because you kid yourself that you *have* to have it when you know you really don't need it!). A word of advice: if she's using insulin to control her diabetes, please please please don't make a big deal of it. Lots of times, diabetics are embarassed or ashamed that they're using insulin, and uninformed people can be cruel when they tell them stupid stuff like "you're only using insulin because you're too lazy to control your bad habits." While a good diet is an important part of controlling diabetes, it's got little to do with how well your body utilizes its insulin. Diabetes is often a genetic thing (the disease is more prevalent among blacks, Hispanics and Indians, and can be passed down from generation to generation in a family), so some of us are wired to be diagnosed diabetics from the time we were conceived. We don't need idiots like my older sister making remarks about us being too lazy to take care of ourselves properly! (disclaimer: this particular sister can be an *ss sometimes ...) Just be cool about it, be observant of her needs without making a fuss about it. But, it sounds like you're doing that anyway!
Curt Posted August 3, 2004 Moderators Posted August 3, 2004 Now Quank, THAT'S educational. Fantastic posts here, very informative. Curt
Sonja Posted August 4, 2004 Posted August 4, 2004 PK, I have a very good friend who is diabetic - he's actually my ex-fiance, but not because of any problems, just we work better as best friends. We were best friends for years, dated for five years, and are "just" best friends again. At the beginning of this, he had just found out he was diabetic. I also know a handful of other diabetics. So I realize this is second-hand information, but I was kind of in the same situation you are now in. As far as dates/activities, diabetics can do most anything other people can do. They just have to watch what they eat, and of course a lot of activity can use up blood sugar. Mostly, just educate yourself about the disease if you plan to be close to this person, for comfort/communication sake as well as her health and safety, and yours a few cases (i.e. if she's driving and gets low). Know the signs of if high blood sugar is too high (such as increased thirst and urination, hyperness, achiness or nausea if it's left untreated) and low blood sugar (such as grouchiness, hunger, trembling, cold sweats, faintness, dizziness). Different people sometimes show symptoms differently. For my friend, he gets pretty hyper and thirsty when he's high, and really grumpy (he's usually easygoing), sweaty and generally more out of it when he's low. In either case it can be really serious. I've second-hand experienced both extremes. He got really low once when driving and forgot where we were (completely, he didn't have any clue what road we were on, though he'd just turned on it and drove it every day); my guidance and the realization that he was low got us to pull over (he's stubborn) and get him some sugar. On the other hand, he once was sick, forgot to take his insulin, and his blood sugar soared to a level that could've killed him. I was the one who called the paramedics. Now, I really don't want to scare you; generally, if a person is responsible and takes care to check his/her blood sugar often and take the prescribed medication, this should be a very rare problem. But be aware of what she takes, and know what works for a good "sugar fix" - there's glucose tablets that you can buy at most grocery stores and pharmacies that are perfect for keeping in the car (won't melt like candy and don't spoil), and orange juice usually seems to work pretty well. It's just important if you are going to spend a lot of time with a diabetic to know what to do if you're ever needed - but they can and should take care of themselves. Also, I totally agree with quankanne about not making a big deal out of it. Most diabetics, in my experience, are shy/embarrassed/cautious about injecting insulin or testing their blood sugar around other people because they assume other people will act funny or be bothered by it - which they are, in some cases. My friend and I are now (and have been for years) so comfortable with it that I'll prepare his shot (he uses two different insulins together) if he's cooking, or he'll take his shot while sitting on the couch talking to me. It's actually helping my son get over his fear of needles! I think the only time we probably got a little too relaxed about it was when we used to go out all the time in my car for food and he left his "syringe receptacle" (a can with a clear lid) in the floorboard of my car. Mind you, I'm about the most clean-cut, anti-drug person in the world. Fortunately, the cop who saw it when he pulled me over for speeding the one day was understanding when I explained, and I've since made sure he stows them somewhere else. But my main point is, learn about it, make it a part of your life if you want her to be part of your life - but don't make a huge deal out of it. Good luck
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