fortyninethousand322 Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 This is partly inspired by Ross's thread about not feeling or looking 37. But also partly inspired by recent (and not so recent) events. A couple of weeks ago my sister was released from the hospital (she's fine now) and a guy she's dating showed up at the house to give her flowers. She was sleeping so I took the flowers and told him I'd let her know he came around, etc. Well later on he texted my sister telling her that he left flowers with "her father" (which he thought was me). My sister is 18 (and honestly can't look any younger than 15 or 16 if that). Apparently I look old enough to have a teenage daughter even though I'm only 24. Normally I'd shrug this off as a strange opinion of one guy. But it's not just him. It's been almost everyone I've known. At my grandmother's funeral a couple years ago people thought my brother and sister were my children. People frequently add 5-20 years to what age they think I am vs my real age when I first meet them. Would this be a turnoff to women? Specifically women in their early to mid 20s who I'd be interested in? Sometimes I think it has to be...
Jamesblame Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 Dude I think it comes with pros and cons. At 24 I looked 18 and that definitely bothered me. .... but when I'm in my 40's I'll look late 20's / early 30's which will be a plus....especially as I age. For you it may be the opposite. I don't know. Either way you are what you are...and looking like an adult won't ever hurt your dating game unless you only date 18 year olds.
todreaminblue Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 (edited) This is partly inspired by Ross's thread about not feeling or looking 37. But also partly inspired by recent (and not so recent) events. A couple of weeks ago my sister was released from the hospital (she's fine now) and a guy she's dating showed up at the house to give her flowers. She was sleeping so I took the flowers and told him I'd let her know he came around, etc. Well later on he texted my sister telling her that he left flowers with "her father" (which he thought was me). My sister is 18 (and honestly can't look any younger than 15 or 16 if that). Apparently I look old enough to have a teenage daughter even though I'm only 24. Normally I'd shrug this off as a strange opinion of one guy. But it's not just him. It's been almost everyone I've known. At my grandmother's funeral a couple years ago people thought my brother and sister were my children. People frequently add 5-20 years to what age they think I am vs my real age when I first meet them. Would this be a turnoff to women? Specifically women in their early to mid 20s who I'd be interested in? Sometimes I think it has to be... Heres a story ..... My son was young just over sixteen he is older now but at that stage in his life he attracted older women.......he told this one lady(by omitting hsi true age he was 28)(i told him to tell her his real age) I told him it would end badly and she would not be happy he didnt listen....he hardly ever did at that age....he was and is a hard worker though.......anyway she thought he was twenty eight....twenty eight so in other words he didnt let her know his true age to me he looked and acted like a kid a majority of the time i dont know how she believed he was twenty eight..he was active fit and had a job....too me he looked like a boy at that age...to me he still looks boyish he is now in his twenties...but i am his mother and he has a fiancee now who is around his age....my son actually gave me the inspiration to check id...by his deceit..if someone tried to pick me up i would ask them for id......pretty sad but you just cant tell these days......i like to get to know people in a normal situation and one thing i like is when i dont have to ask for id......i feel invasive when i do......another plus for getting to know a guy slowly and not just skipping the pleasantries at the start....my son got chased around a shopping centre by the way after she found out........had had jeans run up a flag pole too at said shopping centre.......i guess he learned his lesson...he had just bought the jeans and they were expensive....some people learn the hard way about being truthful with age....that is the moral to my story and the other one is....these days because of hard living and party on lifestyles....its hard to tell anyones age.....i give up and hope that whoever i date is just truthful and to me i would know them pretty well first..before i date any guy...deb Edited October 25, 2012 by todreaminblue
Jamesblame Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 BUT.... the reason people look older or younger for their age is based on their body's cellular regeneration. Younger looking people have a better system than older looking people. So you may want to check your health. Lose weight, if overweight. Stop smoking Maybe cosmetic dentistry if that's a problem for you (no judgement) Or maybe your hair is receding heavily. Maybe it's time to get a style that works for you and your hair.
River Rain Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 I don't think it's necessarily a turn off that you might look older for your age. I know this may sound sexist, I really don't mean it to, it's just my opinion...I think men age so nicely and a lot of times get more attractive as they age, as long as they're healthy and fit that is, so I personally wouldn't worry about it.
iris219 Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 Do you have a beard? That can make guys look older.
River Rain Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 Do you have a beard? That can make guys look older. That's true a beard does age a guy. I also had a friend who went gray in his 20's, he just dyed his hair to cover it because he wanted to look younger. Fashion plays a role too.
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted October 25, 2012 Author Posted October 25, 2012 Do you have a beard? That can make guys look older. I have a goatee.
iris219 Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 I have a goatee. Try shaving. I doubt you look 20 years older than your real age, so I wouldn't worry about it too much. Maybe you give off a wise sort of vibe that makes you seem older.
sweetkiwi Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 i don't think its a big deal to look your age. As long as you dress your age and act your age. I'm 25 and people think i'm anywhere from 16 to 31. I've been asked for my id. Amusing but not insulting.
sweetkiwi Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 also my first real boyfriend went grey at 17. Current man is grey at 29. Its sexy.
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted October 25, 2012 Author Posted October 25, 2012 Usually, bald or balding guys have goatees, so I'm going to assume at the tender age of 24, you're going bald. Nothing makes a man look prematurely older than his years then when he's balding. I always guess balding guys to be in their 40's and I'm shocked when I hear they're 20-something. I do have a receding hairline now yes. But even when I had a full thick head of hair, people often assumed I was older than I looked. So perhaps the going bald thing has merely exaggerated an already older look.
ScreamingTrees Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 When I try to grow facial hair, I just look like a middle schooler with facial hair.
Author fortyninethousand322 Posted October 25, 2012 Author Posted October 25, 2012 When I try to grow facial hair, I just look like a middle schooler with facial hair. I was shaving at 12 and could grow a full beard at 14.
ScreamingTrees Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 I was shaving at 12 and could grow a full beard at 14. I've been growing facial hair since maybe 16? But it still hasn't grown in very thick.. My father's a hairy bastard, all over.. His back, his nose, his face, his chest, stomach, hell.. He's got hair in places I didn't know you could have hair. lol So far so good, my body isn't any hairier than anyone else my age..
Ninjainpajamas Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 Well I'd definitely suggest being clean shaven and maybe using some rogaine or hair loss product or trying some medication to prevent that as it will definitely make you look older and receding hairline does mean you are balding it just depends on your genes how much of it you'll lose. So the earlier you start the better, by the time you're in your late 20's it'll be much more prominent. As far as women finding this unattractive, at your age that is probably going to have a moderate impact, it also depends on how handsome you are as well and your body type. But you can't really focus on what you cannot change, so change what you can and definitely keep the hair off your face, and sometimes glasses can make you look older so contacts might be a good option, get into better shape as most people could use that and maybe even date older women. I'm not saying that definitely women aren't going to be into you but in your early 20's women are more confident in their looks then they'll be in their late 20's and 30's so they may be less forgiving at this time for certain. However I've seen guys date really attractive women who you were not the best lookers, some women do not value that above all. And some women may even like your facial hair as well, so if you feel really comfortable and confident in your look then you'd just have to go with it, otherwise for most women and fitting the largest niche, you want to be clean shaven and appearing as youthful as possible as in today's world a lot of what's on the outside accounts for a lot. Superficial qualities will get your foot in the door.
ascendotum Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 I thought that was pretty funny being confused as your sisters father, but for you not. Change your clothing style for starters maybe. The guys I know who looked older or more mature for their age when they were young definitely had an advantage over those who looked younger (until their 30s). You seem kind of ambivalent to dating. You should be making the most of your youthful 'more mature looking' years now. 1
Jamesblame Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 Agreed! I've got a sexist analogy for you. You're like a woman. You look really good when you're younger, but will have less dating opportunities when you're older.
mortensorchid Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 Well, quite honestly, I think the key to looking younger is to keep your weight down as much as possible. Are you heavy? And also, for men, to be clean shaven and have hair on your head (unless you shave it bald). Then there's wardrobe. Are you dressing older or dressing younger? Because if you are dressing younger than you are, it will make you look obviously older.
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