gonefishin Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 Ok here's one I just want to run by the good people On here... Is this totally weird or any of u seen this carry on.. Me and the ex have been bickering like mad and eventually got back talking . Things go well when we meet now but cause I'm still quite emotional and not coping to great I always seem to do the wrong thing like discuss feelings or us!! This sends her mad cause she's said look let's just talk and have fun ( not fun that way -just a laugh like) What happens is it causes fights nearly always as its time to say goodbye and she storms off and I'm upset . Next day I have to text to say is that us done ? And the reply is "yeah defo it's just not working out" I'm like devasted yet again!!! I'm moving into a new house and its my first time flying the nest .. Bout half hour later she texts and says want me to help you sort the house ?! I'm like wtf ?! How can they pull us in and let us go.. I genuinely believe she still loves me and doesn't want to let go fully But by god this is a tough situation I'm devasted by the pain seeing her brings each night .. But when she's gone I'm completely lost ... It's a good sign she keeps coming back cause I know she doesn't want to give up and walk away just yet .. But how many chances can I blow? Am I the only guy out there torn apart by this stuff?! Any input gladly appreciated .. Thanks Guys!
Sasu Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 Did you try to tell her how you feel by pulling in and pushing away coz you have feelings for her ? Its probably like a backup plan situation & it'll keep hurting unless you can man up and tell her it won't work out like this,either she picks to get together again or not. As far as i can guess - her answer would be no ,still she'll do something to let you see there is still hope,cycle repeats & ending it is not in your favour ( by letting her go ) Stand your ground and enjoy the attention she gives ,then discard the sadness when she pulls away as you know she'll come back ,easier said then done .
Author gonefishin Posted October 25, 2012 Author Posted October 25, 2012 Thanks for your advice . I agree with what you say But I don't think it's a game she's playing . I think she's genuinely afraid to let me in.. (I've seen her let me in sort of and enjoy my company but its almost like a switch she has to put the wall up) I keep saying she comes back but I stupidly feel each time that this is it . She's defo gone now... It's a vicious cycle .. I know she's hurting too I can see it in her.. Guess we both feel deep down its worth fighting for ... But getting mixed up and lost along the way seems to be a too similar occurrence .... Should I not be happy and live for the now that she enjoys my friendship and it may go back to more .. As I do believe the spark and feelings are there fr Her too!
flitzanu Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 you're torturing yourself by being around her when she clearly doesn't want a romantic relationship. that won't stop until you kick her out of your life. 1
Sasu Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 Sadly no ,there are girls i've known,keeping their ex as ex for over years,even living with them and claiming to love each other still when it comes to getting with them again,their reply is we love each other but our time to be together is done, Total Bull****, If you still want any tiny niny chance with the girl,you have to stay strong and slowly make her realize that you can't be like this and its hurting you,if she needs to take her time and realize priorities of her life she can,ask her not to contact you unless she have figured it out and most importantly be gentle while talking all this . "As a girl is never going to be with a guy again unless she can feel the fear of actually losing him "
River Rain Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 You probably already know what I'm going to say! How long are you willing to put up with this confusion? It's hard to know what she wants because she doesn't want to talk about feelings and "us"...so at this point, I really think she's just holding on to you because she knows you'll be there when it's convenient to her. She may not be doing this intentionally and in a bad way, but she can't seem to let go...yet she won't let you back in. I really think at some point you have to think about what all this is doing to your emotions. What kind of standard are you willing to endure for a few bread crumbs?
sweetkiwi Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 sad to see that some men are as clueless as some women are about these things. Get over it. Move on. Don't play this game because you'll never win and worse, you're wasting valuable time you could be using to get your head right.
Author gonefishin Posted October 26, 2012 Author Posted October 26, 2012 Ok but is it not even remotely possible that she's letting me back in little by little each day ... From emails to texts to me aking to meet ..her meeting and then her asking to meet me now ..I've hurt her Badly numerous times and when we make up I say I'll change etc but this Is the first time I feel I want to change for me too! And she doesn't believe me but she's around to see if its true and I genuinely feel we're getting closer... If I take the advice here and just walk away ... Does that not show it's not worth the effort for me ... I'm not a fool and this can't stay as friends for that long as its not easy .. But Ilive in hope she will come round.... (I read a lot of posts on here and I think people are very quick to say Delete ,move on or go no contact ..sometimes fighting for the person might work..just my two cents.. For all I know a month later ill be bak here sobbing AGAIN) Thanks again for replies!
River Rain Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 Regardless of the advice, at least people's perspectives gives you things to think about. You're going to do what you want in the end anyway. Just try not to set yourself up for more heartache.
Regrets58 Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 A sense of deja vu is creeping in here. Had a similar situation with my ex,pursuing a friendship after bu. She called round about 6 days after ending it,no warning. Fortunately was out lol. However started meeting up soon after,had a lot of fun and some good times. We still saw her family,had nights out even a w/e away camping. Was some mention of getting back together,came to nothing though. Close contact for approx 4 months. Don't think there was any malice in it,she was just misguided. Bailed out when she started mentioning a new "friend",didn't want to be around for that. We are still in touch but I am firmly in "the friendzone" and that is where I want to be. Only you can decide when to call it a day. Be prepared for more heartache,confusion and torment however.
Author gonefishin Posted October 26, 2012 Author Posted October 26, 2012 Thanks guys ... Good advice . This isn't what i want and I hope I'm Reading the signs correctly and not just a pawn In her game . Either way I think this is the last shot If this doesn't work or drags out I think it will be my choice to Have eventually just given up . Believe me i know the torture and mind bending this does in the mean time.. Suppose lucky I have this site as a outlet . Thanks guys hope your enjoying your weekend !
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