NailBiter Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 It's been two years (and 20 days) since I got dumped. I haven't felt like I've made any progress after the first year. I still think about her all the time. Sometimes because of triggers, sometimes because my mind isn't occupied, sometimes for no reason at all. It sucks. I can't afford to see a shrink and get on anti depressants. Everyone expects me to be the easy going funny guy that listens to their problems and makes them laugh. Even on the rare occasion when people ask me whats wrong I can't help but shrug it off and make up some excuse. I have the occasional day where I feel good and even thinking of her doesn't bring me down. It never lasts long though. My self esteem has never recovered from the break up and the anger I used as motivation to get stuff done is long gone. Lately I've been going days at a time without leaving my house. My sleep cycle is FUBAR. I just want to crawl into a hole and die. /emorant
Mcnulty Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 Okay, you're stuck. Firstly, you can't afford meds or counselling, that's a bummer, but not the only answer. Start exercising, it releases the feel good hormone..endorphins, eat well, try to get out there, do some voluntary work, that will give you a sense of self worth and value. Also, this is a biggy, you must talk it out with someone, if you don't address something in your mind, it grows like a weed and eats away at you and your self esteem, talk to family, friends or even a stranger! Your life is not over by any means, we create our own destiny..if you're living in the past, how can you embrace the present and the future? Happiness can ONLY come from within my friend...take the bull by the horns and make some changes in your life...small ones at first and you'll be amazed at how it will help your mood and self worth.
PYTpisces Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 I agree with Mcnulty. Once you're stuck its hard to get unstuck. Or you bob in and out of it, all the while feeling like you're getting nowhere. If volunteering or excersizing arent really your thing (though they do help) I say keep exploring some things that stir up genuine interest and joy in you. Its hard to tap into those things if you don't feel very motivated, or if you don't know what they are. Maybe think thoughts like "what makes me happy?" "what brings out the childlike joy and wonder that i used to have, but have neglected?" When you start shifting your focus to these things you'll find yourself more in control of your head space - ultimately helping you get on track with you self-esteem. It takes constant redirection of your mind though. It's not automatic and there will still be times when you just don't want to. Try to override that. Each time you do, i promise you get stronger. You become more interested in your current life as opposed to your past, or other peoples lives. Living in the present and enjoying the present is often the hardest thing to do! Know that you're not alone and that things will get better! Hope this helps!
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