bby2be Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 The man that I am with is confusing! LOL... Last month I told him I wanted a diamond ring. I was joking after reading an article about russian diamonds. Anyway, he was joking too and said "I'll get it from a pawn shop" we were watching pawn stars lol. After that its been an inside joke between us. I noticed he pauses at jewelry sections now at stores, and when we were at a store searching for his mothers birthday gift they ahd a sale on jewelry and we got her a necklace. He then said "Wow, mayeb I should get your ring here..cheap!" anyway, last night I asked him what he wanetd for christmas and I complained that hes hard to shop for and that he never mentions what he wants. I said "I atleast mention what Iw ant!" And he goes "All I know you want is a pandora bracelet!" and I go "Not true.. I want my ring, butthead!" He got a little defensive and said "wow, you'd treat that as a gift?" so I changed the subject and go "You need a new pair of jeans.." He goes "Im not buying myself anything for a long time, I need to save money for (pauses for like 10 seconds) ...alchohol for when I go out" LOL does it sound like Im actually getting an engagement ring? He seems to be slipping a lot..lol 1
january2011 Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 Have you talked about marriage yet and discussed where you both stand? If you haven't, I wouldn't make any assumptions about getting a ring or what that ring might stand for.
Balzac Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 (edited) Sounds as though you want one! How can we offer you much in the way if valid opines with the lack of info you offer? How long is the relationship? Sounds as if you are living together? I cannot imagine myself making a proposal and offering up a ring based on the dialogue you've shared. Edited October 25, 2012 by Balzac Sounds like your answer would be "yes"
Author bby2be Posted October 25, 2012 Author Posted October 25, 2012 Sorry, we are both 31, living together 4 years, have 1 child a 10 month old baby. We have talked about marriage and all that.
Author bby2be Posted October 25, 2012 Author Posted October 25, 2012 I am just shocked by how upset he got when I mentioned the ring as a gift.
kiss_andmakeup Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 Seems that after 4 years, living together, and 2 children, you really shouldn't have to be playing these silly games and wondering about these breadcrumbs of information he's dropping for you. The whole thing sounds kind of ridiculous...like a dialogue that would exist between two 20-year-olds. Why not just have a mature conversation about marriage, tell him what you want, decide if you're both ready, and continue your relationship with an open dialogue about the topic? This whole dancing around the issue, especially considering you live together and have kids, seems really silly. 1
Balzac Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 Shocked? Interesting reaction as most guys I know well, plan an engagement gift plus all variety of other sweeteners! Granted they have no kids. The proposal and ring exchange require big plans and in that are a stand alone event. Covering a Christmas gift as one event, not what most guys I know would ever think appropriate. Thanks for the additional details.
tinalooks808 Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 The man that I am with is confusing! LOL... Last month I told him I wanted a diamond ring. I was joking after reading an article about russian diamonds. Anyway, he was joking too and said "I'll get it from a pawn shop" we were watching pawn stars lol. After that its been an inside joke between us. I noticed he pauses at jewelry sections now at stores, and when we were at a store searching for his mothers birthday gift they ahd a sale on jewelry and we got her a necklace. He then said "Wow, mayeb I should get your ring here..cheap!" anyway, last night I asked him what he wanetd for christmas and I complained that hes hard to shop for and that he never mentions what he wants. I said "I atleast mention what Iw ant!" And he goes "All I know you want is a pandora bracelet!" and I go "Not true.. I want my ring, butthead!" He got a little defensive and said "wow, you'd treat that as a gift?" so I changed the subject and go "You need a new pair of jeans.." He goes "Im not buying myself anything for a long time, I need to save money for (pauses for like 10 seconds) ...alchohol for when I go out" LOL does it sound like Im actually getting an engagement ring? He seems to be slipping a lot..lol Sounds like he is planning something if he slips as often as you say.....
RiverRunning Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 It seems likely. But yeah, after kids and all, it's time for a firm discussion: "I would like to be married by (x)." That's not an ultimatum - just expressing what you want to happen. He can agree or not, and you can decide if those terms are acceptable or not. My boyfriend and I talked at length about marriage, and for several months, before he finally proposed. There were no slip-ups, but he finally did tell me when he had purchased the ring. He proposed a few weeks later. It sounds like he's planning something, but OP, I've also seen games like this go on for several months or even years. Eventually, she's in tears and having breakdowns from him toying with her, and he acts like he's shocked that dangling a proverbial carrot in her face for so long could go badly.
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