lovebug1234 Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 (edited) My heart hurts, I finally had a chat with my friend where we agreed to be fwb but his "equipment" didn't work. I probably had some feelings for him. i suggested that we try again and he said that we're better off as "just friends". I've accepted this, I'm just surprised by how hurt I am. We've spent so much time flirting with each other and I though at that we were attracted to each other physically on many levels..he was always telling me how "hot" I was. I don't understand =( He mentioned that we connect on an emotional level which, I don't completely agree because we don't really know each other that way even though we've been distant friends for a while. I was always just extremely physically attracted to him, but maybe he's right since my feelings are hurt. He was the one that suggested FWB In the grand scheme of things, I know it doesn't matter. I just didn't know I would be so hurt over this. Edited October 25, 2012 by lovebug1234
Mint Sauce Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 (edited) he may be mistaken: perhaps his equipment doesn't work because he's also too emotionally invested to have meaningless sex? Of course, the question remains then whether he is so emotionally invested with you, or with an ex... to clarify: I don't believe that one can be so sexually incompatible on a superficial level that the equipment doesn't work after lots of flirting. We men are not so superficial. If it doesn't work at a young age, there's a serious emotional barrier. Edited October 25, 2012 by Mint Sauce 1
Author lovebug1234 Posted October 25, 2012 Author Posted October 25, 2012 I'm in my late 20s and he's in his early 40s. I did try asking him to try again. he said we're better off as friends. I didn't want to push the subject matter anymore. flirting for a long time, i'm talking years..
SmileFace Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 He isn't seeking a relationship with you and he can't do a FWB and neither can you, with him. Move on and just forget about it. You're only going to hurt yourself more.
sweetkiwi Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 this happened to one of my gorgeous girlfriends. Like three guys in a row. All a can think of is they were nervous or intimidated? I would try again. Maybe have a couple, not more, drinks. Guys need foreplay too. They need to be romanced and swooned and blah blah. When i bake in my panties my man gets crazy. They also love massages like hawaii50 said. I find that while massaging my man i start with his back, legs, arms, neck, shoulders. Then i flip him over and usually he's hard. But if he doesn't have sex on his mind i do this little move. I take off his shorts for him. And his boxers. Then i start with the feet, sitting between his legs and work my way up his body. When i'm by his groin i completely ignore his cock and massage that nice v muscle right above it on either side. Don't massage the stomach because it feels weird but the sides feel good if you have your hands under their back. Work your way up to the pecs. Applying a flat stroke not digging fingers. By then your mouth should be very very close to their goods with your arms stretched upwards. And he knows your mouth is close too. If that doesn't make him hard slip him some viagra.
Author lovebug1234 Posted October 25, 2012 Author Posted October 25, 2012 (edited) I was pretty forward about the sex though we did spend a good amount of time talking. b/c he said he couldn't do relationship, I just assumed it was just sex. i thought it was a bit childish for him to avoid me being that we're both grown ups and..the major think i'm dealing with is the hurt from it. he changed it last min. talking about emotions and it just through me off, smileface, that's great advice but how would you implement? it's like telling someone who is broke to just go make money. sweetkiwi, can you tell me more about what happened with your friend? Right now, I don't think i could get him in that position again, it took forever (about 2 weeks of him avoiding me) just to get him to talk about it with me. Edited October 25, 2012 by lovebug1234
SmileFace Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 I was pretty forward about the sex though we did spend a good amount of time talking. b/c he said he couldn't do relationship, I just assumed it was just sex. i thought it was a bit childish for him to avoid me being that we're both grown ups and..the major think i'm dealing with is the hurt from it. he changed it last min. talking about emotions and it just through me off, smileface, that's great advice but how would you implement? it's like telling someone who is broke to just go make money. Haha, I would so say that to somebody - I am serious. Just move on, stop contacting him - a FWB isn't worth that much trouble. If he wants to be friends later on he will return but you tried and it didn't work out -- big whoop. Deall with the hurt for a week and forget about it.
Author lovebug1234 Posted October 26, 2012 Author Posted October 26, 2012 letting go is easier said then done. not sure why it suddenly didnt work =(
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