Depth Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 Let me start by saying that I developed my ability to talk to women through guys like Mystery, simplepickup, etc. Without them, I wouldn't even go on dates like I do now. With that said, I have read around that you should be sexual around a girl. That you should use kino and make references to sex so it makes the girl comfortable. I was recently on a date with a girl Friday. I met her through random meeting (parked next to me in parking lot) got her number, texted her for a week and half and we texted back and forth quite a bit. After that I went to the date.. Here's what happened. 1. I arrived about 10 minutes late, apparently this creates more attraction so I did this on purpose.. 2. We were sitting next to each other where we played the question game. She asks, "what's the craziest thing you've ever done?" I answer, "I got my friend to celebrate his first alcoholic beverage, he came..... to my party." I start cracking up and she does as well. I tell her "gutter mind, get your mind out of the gutter haha!" Keep in mind that this was after she told me that the craziest thing she did was get super drunk with her friends at a bar and made out with random guys, and she felt like a slut afterward... fair enough, I assumed that the girl was comfortable with her sexuality at this point to discuss stuff like this. Next we go over to dinner; taking pics and I type my password on my phone (6969), of course, I don't know why that's my password, it's probably from a long time ago and was probably horny when I set it. Third, we have a nice dinner, chat it up, she tells me how this is the best date she's been on with someone who she's not in a relationship with yet. I walk her to her car, she gives me a hug and I say "wait, come here give me a kiss... she does and I kind of push it with "oh come on, that's it? Let me try some of that dinner you just had haha!" Her response: omg gross hahah. Then she proceeds to tell me that I will see her again and that I have to "pinky promise" to set up another date. I text her when I get home and she responds favorably. The next morning, I text her and nothing so I wait until the next night to say goodnight; she just responds with "night!" This is pretty similar to something that happened to me last year; at this point I think its fair to assume that I'm just coming on too strong? Or perhaps I don't make the emotional connection with the girl? I'm not too sure Let me know guys. Thanks! -D
taya Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 (edited) it dident sound like you coming off too strong to me it sounded fun you guys had a great time ..ask her out again soon and see what happen am a girl and sometimes we play hard to get or we dont want to seem needed or desperate so maybe she is just trying to play a little hard to get..and dont worry you seem fun and great to go out with am pretty sure it has nothing to do with you and the one that happen last year you guys was just not ment to be ,,i think this girl is playing hard to get tho Edited October 25, 2012 by taya
jcrew11 Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 That depends on how old are the 2 of you? If you are being sexual, how soon do you want to have sex with her; do you think she is holding back because she doesn't want to rush into sex. Do you have anything else in common to talk about, or another date to plan? Don't just talk about nothing, try to think about a reason to see her again, and get a straight answer from her. 1
Author Depth Posted October 25, 2012 Author Posted October 25, 2012 That depends on how old are the 2 of you? If you are being sexual, how soon do you want to have sex with her; do you think she is holding back because she doesn't want to rush into sex. Do you have anything else in common to talk about, or another date to plan? Don't just talk about nothing, try to think about a reason to see her again, and get a straight answer from her. Yeah of course. We talked about her friends and my friends. I was making her laugh a lot. I put my arm Around her shoulder as we were walking to the dinner place. The thing that really baffles me is that SHE suggested we do it again. Obviously when I asked for a kiss she didn't seem to have a problem and came up and kissed. I had a long day and kind of let out this sigh when she was Doing the pinky promise thing. Her: oh you don't like my pinky promises? Me: haha no its not that. Then I get home and text her that sigh wasn't towards her. Her: hahahah sounds like bs Me: haha read my mind if you don't believe me (inside joke) Her: alright After that I haven't heard from her. I tried calling and she won't pick up. I tried texting and she won't text back. Very strange.
sweetkiwi Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 stop calling. Stop texting. If she wanted to talk she'd answer. Trust me. Guys like mysterious are trying to get you laid after going to the club. Not for real relationships! 1
River Rain Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 I'd say she wasn't interested, don't keep pestering her, it won't make a difference. And on a side note, if you are really looking for a relationship, why would you want to trick a girl into liking you? Do you think if she found out you were doing these things she'd be impressed? Nuh-uh.
Jamesblame Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 Well you're talking to girls now....so drop the PUA crap. It's basic information that attempts to boost confidence of men by pretending that they're tricking women. You aren't. Everyone knows the stupid little tricks and games. The only thing to be gained by PUA stuff is to be confident. Everything else is BS. It's hard to make money off a simple, " Be confident in who you are, make your life the best/most sincere it can be, then date only women who seem to be able to fit well with your life." As to the girl....well, call don't text. Invite her out one more time. If she declines, move on. No hard feelings. 2
Drseussgrrl Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 I just googled this guy "Mystery" and he looks like a total nasty douchebag. When you're kissing a woman don't make comments like "I wanna taste that dinner." That's just gross. Keep it sweet. Put your hand on the back of her neck, caress her chin with your thumb. Make her feel like a lady, not an 8th grader making out after 4th period. 2
todreaminblue Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 Let me start by saying that I developed my ability to talk to women through guys like Mystery, simplepickup, etc. Without them, I wouldn't even go on dates like I do now. With that said, I have read around that you should be sexual around a girl. That you should use kino and make references to sex so it makes the girl comfortable. I was recently on a date with a girl Friday. I met her through random meeting (parked next to me in parking lot) got her number, texted her for a week and half and we texted back and forth quite a bit. After that I went to the date.. Here's what happened. 1. I arrived about 10 minutes late, apparently this creates more attraction so I did this on purpose.. 2. We were sitting next to each other where we played the question game. She asks, "what's the craziest thing you've ever done?" I answer, "I got my friend to celebrate his first alcoholic beverage, he came..... to my party." I start cracking up and she does as well. I tell her "gutter mind, get your mind out of the gutter haha!" Keep in mind that this was after she told me that the craziest thing she did was get super drunk with her friends at a bar and made out with random guys, and she felt like a slut afterward... fair enough, I assumed that the girl was comfortable with her sexuality at this point to discuss stuff like this. Next we go over to dinner; taking pics and I type my password on my phone (6969), of course, I don't know why that's my password, it's probably from a long time ago and was probably horny when I set it. Third, we have a nice dinner, chat it up, she tells me how this is the best date she's been on with someone who she's not in a relationship with yet. I walk her to her car, she gives me a hug and I say "wait, come here give me a kiss... she does and I kind of push it with "oh come on, that's it? Let me try some of that dinner you just had haha!" Her response: omg gross hahah. Then she proceeds to tell me that I will see her again and that I have to "pinky promise" to set up another date. I text her when I get home and she responds favorably. The next morning, I text her and nothing so I wait until the next night to say goodnight; she just responds with "night!" This is pretty similar to something that happened to me last year; at this point I think its fair to assume that I'm just coming on too strong? Or perhaps I don't make the emotional connection with the girl? I'm not too sure Let me know guys. Thanks! -D this post is a little strange....why does your password have anything to do with the date......i dont know who told you to eb sexual on an ice breaker date but it aint the case in the majority of situations or dates as a first......i think a tell fro her is the fact she told you she got drunk and made out with guys....doesnt say sex just making out with guys and she felt like a slut after....this girl when not drinking doesnt make out with guys.......the joke you told her in the end to convince her to french kiss you.....not very classy the fact she laughed at yrou jokes and the gutter midn thing......doesn tactually mean she might have found it funny.....i would contact her again sh etold you that was the best date she had had in a while....means that the other guys she dated were worse than you.....try again......ask her on another date...... this time......make her feel like a woman who you respect to me it sounds like she has had a hard time dating...doesnt matter how old you are or how old she i s....a classy date can be had by any age....dont be sexual..wait for her to actually give that permission...best wishes happy dating.deb 1
SmileFace Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 She had a change of heart, thank goodness. 1
Drseussgrrl Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 Also - don't be late. That's just rude. Definitely not a turn on. 3
ThaWholigan Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 Mystery Method is dated - you need to upgrade your PUA material bro . Either way, I think you tried to be a little too "Mystery" like to deal with your date. It depends on the type of girl you want, and this one doesn't sound like she responds to all of it, although she likely had fun. She probably doesn't see much future in it despite this - I would move on and learn from it. 2
dasein Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 You didn't do anything super wrong, she just isn't interested on reflection, or has another option she likes better. Don't sweat it, these things happen when you approach women in public, which is a great habit you have learned that you should continue. Some advice for future dates: ALWAYS get there first. This allows you to scope out the locale, pick a less noisy position in the place where you can hear each other, find better more intimate lighting, find out if you know any of the staff, get seats where you can sit next to each other as opposed to across a table, befriend staff who will be serving you. The advantages you get from being early outweigh any illusory advantage from making her wait. For all you know, she gave her number to some dude who chatted her up while she was waiting for you, and has now decided to go out with him instead of you. Control the environment as the man on early dates. It's easy to do and the advantages are real. Am fairly certain that the "let me taste your dinner" comment didn't come from any legitimate dating guru Don't worry, we have all made many similar faux pas. Never rationalize more of a kiss after a first date, or more physical contact than she offers. Do go for the kiss, but any talk comes off as begging, which you should be above. Ideally, her physical contact with you sitting next to you or walking with you on the date will lead her to want to give you a nice kiss at the end. Then that's that. END THE DATE, "I had a great time, good night," and nothing about future dates or negotiating any future plans. The presumption should be either 1) She wants to date me again and I want to date her or 2) not. No need to spoil anticipation with lots of talk. Just proceed with your plan, CALL not text her in a few days after the date and ask out again for another date. Never leave date plans in VM, wait until she returns your call or you get her on the phone. No complaining about supposed promises to date again. At this point, everything that comes out of her mouth is NOISE, not dispositive of anything. Her physical actions towards you, leaning in, touching, sharing food, and willingness to kiss you at the end are all that matters. Enough for now, you are on the right track. The PUA stuff is mostly common sense training wheels for guys who used to be awkward approaching women. Since you aren't any more, the PUA stuff has served its purpose well, do away with the training wheels and begin building a personal style on the foundation of the confidence you have achieved. Good luck. 1
Author Depth Posted October 25, 2012 Author Posted October 25, 2012 That depends on how old are the 2 of you? If you are being sexual, how soon do you want to have sex with her; do you think she is holding back because she doesn't want to rush into sex. Do you have anything else in common to talk about, or another date to plan? Don't just talk about nothing, try to think about a reason to see her again, and get a straight answer from her. stop calling. Stop texting. If she wanted to talk she'd answer. Trust me. Guys like mysterious are trying to get you laid after going to the club. Not for real relationships! Yeah but when I was the nice guy I always got Friendzoned. What's the balance between the two? I'd say she wasn't interested, don't keep pestering her, it won't make a difference. And on a side note, if you are really looking for a relationship, why would you want to trick a girl into liking you? Do you think if she found out you were doing these things she'd be impressed? Nuh-uh. Hmm, well she would text me before the date and would always be like you're cute what's your longest relationship? Etc. This really isn't about one girl, I wouldn't waste yalls time because of one girl; it's about Changing myself for the better. Well you're talking to girls now....so drop the PUA crap. It's basic information that attempts to boost confidence of men by pretending that they're tricking women. You aren't. Everyone knows the stupid little tricks and games. The only thing to be gained by PUA stuff is to be confident. Everything else is BS. It's hard to make money off a simple, " Be confident in who you are, make your life the best/most sincere it can be, then date only women who seem to be able to fit well with your life." As to the girl....well, call don't text. Invite her out one more time. If she declines, move on. No hard feelings. I can't stop thinking about her which is strange. I think she was one of those rare type of women that you don't find often (perfect grades, great family, goals etc.) so maybe that's why I'm so attached. I called once and she didn't pickup. I can call once again and invite her to the animal shelter (she likes cats) and mention how I promise she will have fun. But Should I say like "hey, I know we never did that second date and this time I promise I will treat you like a lady, please give this one more shot, give me a cal back thanks :)" Or is that too needy? I just googled this guy "Mystery" and he looks like a total nasty douchebag. When you're kissing a woman don't make comments like "I wanna taste that dinner." That's just gross. Keep it sweet. Put your hand on the back of her neck, caress her chin with your thumb. Make her feel like a lady, not an 8th grader making out after 4th period. that was actually from simplepickup, the guys who are overly sexual On YouTube. They make it look so easy this post is a little strange....why does your password have anything to do with the date......i dont know who told you to eb sexual on an ice breaker date but it aint the case in the majority of situations or dates as a first......i think a tell fro her is the fact she told you she got drunk and made out with guys....doesnt say sex just making out with guys and she felt like a slut after....this girl when not drinking doesnt make out with guys.......the joke you told her in the end to convince her to french kiss you.....not very classy the fact she laughed at yrou jokes and the gutter midn thing......doesn tactually mean she might have found it funny.....i would contact her again sh etold you that was the best date she had had in a while....means that the other guys she dated were worse than you.....try again......ask her on another date...... this time......make her feel like a woman who you respect to me it sounds like she has had a hard time dating...doesnt matter how old you are or how old she i s....a classy date can be had by any age....dont be sexual..wait for her to actually give that permission...best wishes happy dating.deb Yeah you're right I should have read that. I guess she saw ye 6969 and thought "wow what a perv" She had a change of heart, thank goodness. Aww lol, but I'm willing to listen, and you're smile face but you just made me frown Also - don't be late. That's just rude. Definitely not a turn on. I made it a joke, "I'll be fashionably late" I won't do it next time thanks. Mystery Method is dated - you need to upgrade your PUA material bro . Either way, I think you tried to be a little too "Mystery" like to deal with your date. It depends on the type of girl you want, and this one doesn't sound like she responds to all of it, although she likely had fun. She probably doesn't see much future in it despite this - I would move on and learn from it. If there's any Saving grace I would love to hear. Also, any legit pua stuff out there that doesnt just work on sluts? You didn't do anything super wrong, she just isn't interested on reflection, or has another option she likes better. Don't sweat it, these things happen when you approach women in public, which is a great habit you have learned that you should continue. Some advice for future dates: ALWAYS get there first. This allows you to scope out the locale, pick a less noisy position in the place where you can hear each other, find better more intimate lighting, find out if you know any of the staff, get seats where you can sit next to each other as opposed to across a table, befriend staff who will be serving you. The advantages you get from being early outweigh any illusory advantage from making her wait. For all you know, she gave her number to some dude who chatted her up while she was waiting for you, and has now decided to go out with him instead of you. Control the environment as the man on early dates. It's easy to do and the advantages are real. Am fairly certain that the "let me taste your dinner" comment didn't come from any legitimate dating guru Don't worry, we have all made many similar faux pas. Never rationalize more of a kiss after a first date, or more physical contact than she offers. Do go for the kiss, but any talk comes off as begging, which you should be above. Ideally, her physical contact with you sitting next to you or walking with you on the date will lead her to want to give you a nice kiss at the end. Then that's that. END THE DATE, "I had a great time, good night," and nothing about future dates or negotiating any future plans. The presumption should be either 1) She wants to date me again and I want to date her or 2) not. No need to spoil anticipation with lots of talk. Just proceed with your plan, CALL not text her in a few days after the date and ask out again for another date. Never leave date plans in VM, wait until she returns your call or you get her on the phone. No complaining about supposed promises to date again. At this point, everything that comes out of her mouth is NOISE, not dispositive of anything. Her physical actions towards you, leaning in, touching, sharing food, and willingness to kiss you at the end are all that matters. Enough for now, you are on the right track. The PUA stuff is mostly common sense training wheels for guys who used to be awkward approaching women. Since you aren't any more, the PUA stuff has served its purpose well, do away with the training wheels and begin building a personal style on the foundation of the confidence you have achieved. Good luck. Wow! That just cheered me up with the positive aura comin from your post. Thanks a lot though she won't answer the phone so I may be forced to leave a voicemail. I don't know how to do it without Sounding needy and desperate. I already send her a long text sayin I apologize or being so forward and how I think she's great, smart and I want to make this work. No response tho 1
sweetkiwi Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 what did we say. Stop texting. Stop calling. Oh man. Let me give you an example of a true ladies man. My man. I met him and was instantly attracted. He dressed cute. Smelled good. And he was sweet and shy. No gross sex talk or stupid pick up lines. I got his number because when we talked it left me wanting to know him more. Before me he had lots of ladies. Most just flings but hey he's young! And our first date was the next day. He kissed me when i least expected and the world melted away. He is just himself. No games or pua - still don't know what that means but it sounds dumb. Slimebags are a dime a dozen. Sweet real men are not. You seem sweet. So ask yourself what you really want.
ThaWholigan Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 what did we say. Stop texting. Stop calling. Oh man. Let me give you an example of a true ladies man. My man. I met him and was instantly attracted. He dressed cute. Smelled good. And he was sweet and shy. No gross sex talk or stupid pick up lines. I got his number because when we talked it left me wanting to know him more. Before me he had lots of ladies. Most just flings but hey he's young! And our first date was the next day. He kissed me when i least expected and the world melted away. He is just himself. No games or pua - still don't know what that means but it sounds dumb. Slimebags are a dime a dozen. Sweet real men are not. You seem sweet. So ask yourself what you really want. There's being sweet and there is knowing how to be attractive. I wish both men and women would realize this when dealing with men who struggle in this area. Some guys can be themselves and not have trouble, while others may struggle being themselves and not be able to portray their best qualities in an attractive way. PUA can actually help. As someone who reads PUA (and doesn't play games or trick people), I get a bit fed up when anyone who uses PUA is automatically labelled a slimebag. I agree, he does seem "sweet", and he should at least try to maintain some of that, but to tell him to continue what he was doing before will probably not work for him. He needs to strike the balance between the PUA stuff and his real self. Hence why, in his own words "when he was the sweet guy, he got friendzoned".
Imajerk17 Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 Depth: First of all, good for you for having the stones to actually approach the girl. Props there... Second, I'm not sure Mystery's material is applicable to taking a girl *out to dinner*. It's specifically for group-type situations and where the end result is you sleeping with her. The dynamics are altogether different when she is on the date with you. Overall, from reading this I'm thinking you might have come across a little too game-y, from being 10 minutes late to the 6969 thing to the "let me taste your dinner" remark (no I don't think any guru recommended that either). That you thought it was helping your cause to show up 10 minutes late--it wasn't--makes me think you might have been over the top in some other things too. And then when she went home and thought about the date and talked about it with her friends, she decided she didn't want to meet up. Even Mystery's material has a "connect" phase, when you and she are on the same team and the negs stop. Then again, I have had great first dates that don't lead to second dates. You never know what is going on in someone else's life... 1
NoMoreJerks Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 I met a guy at the bar the other night, and we hit it off really well.. we talked for 3 hours... but near the end, he was coming off as ... i don't know how to put it... kinda rude... he started talking about embarassing experiences he had had, and some of the stuff he said, he should've kept to himself... I laughed with him about it, but I was doing it out of courtesy, not because I found it funny. I found it rather gross... I don't know why he started acting that way -- maybe he had had too much to drink. But whatever the case, I was not impressed.
todreaminblue Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 Yeah but when I was the nice guy I always got Friendzoned. What's the balance between the two? Hmm, well she would text me before the date and would always be like you're cute what's your longest relationship? Etc. This really isn't about one girl, I wouldn't waste yalls time because of one girl; it's about Changing myself for the better. I can't stop thinking about her which is strange. I think she was one of those rare type of women that you don't find often (perfect grades, great family, goals etc.) so maybe that's why I'm so attached. I called once and she didn't pickup. I can call once again and invite her to the animal shelter (she likes cats) and mention how I promise she will have fun. But Should I say like "hey, I know we never did that second date and this time I promise I will treat you like a lady, please give this one more shot, give me a cal back thanks :)" Or is that too needy? that was actually from simplepickup, the guys who are overly sexual On YouTube. They make it look so easy Yeah you're right I should have read that. I guess she saw ye 6969 and thought "wow what a perv" Aww lol, but I'm willing to listen, and you're smile face but you just made me frown I made it a joke, "I'll be fashionably late" I won't do it next time thanks. If there's any Saving grace I would love to hear. Also, any legit pua stuff out there that doesnt just work on sluts? Wow! That just cheered me up with the positive aura comin from your post. Thanks a lot though she won't answer the phone so I may be forced to leave a voicemail. I don't know how to do it without Sounding needy and desperate. I already send her a long text sayin I apologize or being so forward and how I think she's great, smart and I want to make this work. No response tho You actually liked this girl ,i am surprised i thought by the tone of your post you just wanted sex..... so you werent yourself....you could have had the most amazing date if you had been yourself...not listened to unfortunate advice.....it might not work out with this girl for you you might have done your dash, your sprint with her is probably over....take it into your next date and learn from what didnt work twice now for you...dont do anything but be yourself and then the girl you are with if she sees who you are and likes that you will get that second date and then maybe a third and a fourth and a fifth.....i wish you the best..sex is not the way, talking about sex is not the way to a second date....wait for a girl to bring that up much much later. take time to enjoy the girl the date and not make her think of her vagina..or your penis..or your tongue down her throat with loads of saliva attached......it can make some girls uncomfortable...as it should..deb
jcrew11 Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 Yeah of course. We talked about her friends and my friends. I was making her laugh a lot. I put my arm Around her shoulder as we were walking to the dinner place. The thing that really baffles me is that SHE suggested we do it again. Obviously when I asked for a kiss she didn't seem to have a problem and came up and kissed. I had a long day and kind of let out this sigh when she was Doing the pinky promise thing. Her: oh you don't like my pinky promises? Me: haha no its not that. Then I get home and text her that sigh wasn't towards her. Her: hahahah sounds like bs Me: haha read my mind if you don't believe me (inside joke) Her: alright After that I haven't heard from her. I tried calling and she won't pick up. I tried texting and she won't text back. Very strange. Give it a few days, call her in around 3-4 days. Ask her to go to dinner, movie, concert, etc. If she turns you down, then you know you did something wrong and she's not interested. You don't want to appear too needy and desperate. 1
Jamesblame Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 what did we say. Stop texting. Stop calling. Oh man. Let me give you an example of a true ladies man. My man. I met him and was instantly attracted. He dressed cute. Smelled good. And he was sweet and shy. No gross sex talk or stupid pick up lines. I got his number because when we talked it left me wanting to know him more. Before me he had lots of ladies. Most just flings but hey he's young! And our first date was the next day. He kissed me when i least expected and the world melted away. He is just himself. No games or pua - still don't know what that means but it sounds dumb. Slimebags are a dime a dozen. Sweet real men are not. You seem sweet. So ask yourself what you really want. Good advice ^^^ I really understand where you're coming from. When I was younger I was always friendzoned and felt like I was a doormat who would never get anyone. But as I aged and my life started to resemble what I wanted it to be. Then all of a sudden women stopped being a problem. In fact, I have to choose to be single and not date. It comes very naturally to me. And I'm in my late twenties, happy with my life, and have had the great fortune to be with many great women. This girl that you dated sounds like a real catch. But if it doesn't work out then it's not the end of the world. There will be others. If you've called and she hasn't returned your call then I would suggest leaving it at that and moving on. it's a life lesson--which we all need now and then. You're a nice guy. Embrace that and cultivate it in all your relationships. The right girl will come along for you. Begging, apologizing...things like that....they don't work and they make you feel foolish. What doesn't make you feel foolish is telling people how you feel. There have been plenty of girls that I've liked who haven't like me back. And I've told them how unfortunate it was because they're such charismatic people....blah blah. And then left it at that. I don't have any regret about that. But I am a bit embarrassed about the ones I would call and call and call. Just keep being you and grow into your own.
Author Depth Posted October 26, 2012 Author Posted October 26, 2012 Let me start by saying that the responses on this form are so much nicer than what I get on the pua forums. Over there it's a lot of "not enough time in comfort zone" "didn't use proper kino etc" what did we say. Stop texting. Stop calling. Oh man. Let me give you an example of a true ladies man. My man. I met him and was instantly attracted. He dressed cute. Smelled good. And he was sweet and shy. No gross sex talk or stupid pick up lines. I got his number because when we talked it left me wanting to know him more. Before me he had lots of ladies. Most just flings but hey he's young! And our first date was the next day. He kissed me when i least expected and the world melted away. He is just himself. No games or pua - still don't know what that means but it sounds dumb. Slimebags are a dime a dozen. Sweet real men are not. You seem sweet. So ask yourself what you really want. Hey now, be a good kiwi lol. I don't think I'm a slime bag for wanting to meet women. I was never good at it. I'm not a bad looking guy by any means but I'm kind I short and I never had the luxury of having "natural" game. (I know I shouldnt call it game but I hope you know what I mean). Honestly, this is still better than always getting Friendzoned like I did when I was still in high school. I'm 22 now and I have had no "real" relationships. It would be a lie to say that pua didn't help me. When nobody was there, pua was my saving grace. There's being sweet and there is knowing how to be attractive. I wish both men and women would realize this when dealing with men who struggle in this area. Some guys can be themselves and not have trouble, while others may struggle being themselves and not be able to portray their best qualities in an attractive way. PUA can actually help. As someone who reads PUA (and doesn't play games or trick people), I get a bit fed up when anyone who uses PUA is automatically labelled a slimebag. I agree, he does seem "sweet", and he should at least try to maintain some of that, but to tell him to continue what he was doing before will probably not work for him. He needs to strike the balance between the PUA stuff and his real self. Hence why, in his own words "when he was the sweet guy, he got friendzoned". Hey! Thanks for defending me. When I was the sweet guy, I always got Friendzoned. It doesn't mean I had a boring personality but I just didn't seem I attract girls. When I got into pua, I started getting numbers and girls actually wanted to talk to me. I honestly don't like acting like something from a script but I don't know how else I'd combine my personality with the material. Depth: First of all, good for you for having the stones to actually approach the girl. Props there... Second, I'm not sure Mystery's material is applicable to taking a girl *out to dinner*. It's specifically for group-type situations and where the end result is you sleeping with her. The dynamics are altogether different when she is on the date with you. Overall, from reading this I'm thinking you might have come across a little too game-y, from being 10 minutes late to the 6969 thing to the "let me taste your dinner" remark (no I don't think any guru recommended that either). That you thought it was helping your cause to show up 10 minutes late--it wasn't--makes me think you might have been over the top in some other things too. And then when she went home and thought about the date and talked about it with her friends, she decided she didn't want to meet up. Even Mystery's material has a "connect" phase, when you and she are on the same team and the negs stop. Then again, I have had great first dates that don't lead to second dates. You never know what is going on in someone else's life... I agree she probably talked to her friends. She did seen pretty happy at the end f the date despite what I acted like. Honestly on the way home I was so excited about meeting such a great girl. However, as the week progresse I just got more and more depressed. Now I can't even study for my calculus exam I met a guy at the bar the other night, and we hit it off really well.. we talked for 3 hours... but near the end, he was coming off as ... i don't know how to put it... kinda rude... he started talking about embarassing experiences he had had, and some of the stuff he said, he should've kept to himself... I laughed with him about it, but I was doing it out of courtesy, not because I found it funny. I found it rather gross... I don't know why he started acting that way -- maybe he had had too much to drink. But whatever the case, I was not impressed. Lol nice, I wish yall didn't laugh when it isn't funny though. Some of us can't tell when girls are very good at faking the laugh We're you really that grossed out? You actually liked this girl ,i am surprised i thought by the tone of your post you just wanted sex..... so you werent yourself....you could have had the most amazing date if you had been yourself...not listened to unfortunate advice.....it might not work out with this girl for you you might have done your dash, your sprint with her is probably over....take it into your next date and learn from what didnt work twice now for you...dont do anything but be yourself and then the girl you are with if she sees who you are and likes that you will get that second date and then maybe a third and a fourth and a fifth.....i wish you the best..sex is not the way, talking about sex is not the way to a second date....wait for a girl to bring that up much much later. take time to enjoy the girl the date and not make her think of her vagina..or your penis..or your tongue down her throat with loads of saliva attached......it can make some girls uncomfortable...as it shoul:)d..deb I would have been myself, but that just gets me Friendzoned. I can't be myself anymore without the girl just turning me into some kind of doormat. What about the touching? Is that wrong too? Also I didn't just want sex. I wanted to make out because I liked her and she looked gorgeous. Give it a few days, call her in around 3-4 days. Ask her to go to dinner, movie, concert, etc. If she turns you down, then you know you did something wrong and she's not interested. You don't want to appear too needy and desperate. I see her at college sometimes. Maybe I can make her like a flower with a kitten printed instead of a flower. That's my real self talking so let me know of it stop much. Good advice ^^^ I really understand where you're coming from. When I was younger I was always friendzoned and felt like I was a doormat who would never get anyone. But as I aged and my life started to resemble what I wanted it to be. Then all of a sudden women stopped being a problem. In fact, I have to choose to be single and not date. It comes very naturally to me. And I'm in my late twenties, happy with my life, and have had the great fortune to be with many great women. This girl that you dated sounds like a real catch. But if it doesn't work out then it's not the end of the world. There will be others. If you've called and she hasn't returned your call then I would suggest leaving it at that and moving on. it's a life lesson--which we all need now and then. You're a nice guy. Embrace that and cultivate it in all your relationships. The right girl will come along for you. Begging, apologizing...things like that....they don't work and they make you feel foolish. What doesn't make you feel foolish is telling people how you feel. There have been plenty of girls that I've liked who haven't like me back. And I've told them how unfortunate it was because they're such charismatic people....blah blah. And then left it at that. I don't have any regret about that. But I am a bit embarrassed about the ones I would call and call and call. Just keep being you and grow into your own. Hey thanks! I wish you could be more specific as to How do you "naturally" do it? I mean I was hoping that one day i would wake up and be amazing with women as well but it never happened. And so I got frustrated and discovered pua.
Imajerk17 Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 (edited) Let me start by saying that the responses on this form are so much nicer than what I get on the pua forums. Over there it's a lot of "not enough time in comfort zone" "didn't use proper kino etc" Well, as for "not enough comfort", I think what I said actually was something like that. The PUA forums have their strengths and LS forums have their strengths. The people who study PUA deserve credit IMO for actually taking action, and for trying to break down interactions in a way that a guy can learn what he could do better next time. Thing is though, many guys who study PUA take themselves way too seriously (is an interaction ever really an interaction or is it always a dojo to practice and test social skills). And many guys who study PUA end up with overly rigid ways of thinking. Every social situation becomes a nail, and their favorite method becomes the hammer. As many of them don't have the social experience to get that what they were taught is a *rule of thumb* and it needs to be modified to fit the situation. I believe the Community term is "calibration". This forum is good in that you will get advice from people who are more flexible in their thinking and who have experience with relationships as well as dating. There is a lot of BS advice here that doesn't really help anyone though (e.g., "Be Yourself!" "Be Confident!"). And there are a lot of guys on here who won't take action and who just sit and whine. You will also have people on here who feel that PUA is an evil. Take it with a grain of salt. No woman wants to believe that the guy she is falling for downloaded his personality from the Internet. But the only way to get this part of your life handled is to take action and learn some stuff. So good show. Hey now, be a good kiwi lol. I don't think I'm a slime bag for wanting to meet women. I was never good at it. I'm not a bad looking guy by any means but I'm kind I short and I never had the luxury of having "natural" game. (I know I shouldnt call it game but I hope you know what I mean). Honestly, this is still better than always getting Friendzoned like I did when I was still in high school. I'm 22 now and I have had no "real" relationships. It would be a lie to say that pua didn't help me. When nobody was there, pua was my saving grace. Hey! Thanks for defending me. When I was the sweet guy, I always got Friendzoned. It doesn't mean I had a boring personality but I just didn't seem I attract girls. When I got into pua, I started getting numbers and girls actually wanted to talk to me. I honestly don't like acting like something from a script but I don't know how else I'd combine my personality with the material. I agree she probably talked to her friends. She did seen pretty happy at the end f the date despite what I acted like. Honestly on the way home I was so excited about meeting such a great girl. However, as the week progresse I just got more and more depressed. Now I can't even study for my calculus exam Lol nice, I wish yall didn't laugh when it isn't funny though. Some of us can't tell when girls are very good at faking the laugh We're you really that grossed out? I would have been myself, but that just gets me Friendzoned. I can't be myself anymore without the girl just turning me into some kind of doormat. What about the touching? Is that wrong too? Also I didn't just want sex. I wanted to make out because I liked her and she looked gorgeous. I see her at college sometimes. Maybe I can make her like a flower with a kitten printed instead of a flower. That's my real self talking so let me know of it stop much. Hey thanks! I wish you could be more specific as to How do you "naturally" do it? I mean I was hoping that one day i would wake up and be amazing with women as well but it never happened. And so I got frustrated and discovered pua. When you see her again, no gifts. What has she done to deserve a gift from you? Go over and say hi and say your piece. You can tell her that you thought you and she had a connection and see what she says. Edited October 26, 2012 by Imajerk17 1
NoMoreJerks Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 Lol nice, I wish yall didn't laugh when it isn't funny though. Some of us can't tell when girls are very good at faking the laugh We're you really that grossed out? Well the thing is, he was a really nice guy otherwise, so I didn't want to go all serious and ruin the mood and be a "party pooper" just because he may have said something inappropriate while drunk. Also, it really caught me off-guard and made me feel very uncomfortable and awkward, so I had to laugh it off. Still, it was very inappropriate and kinda turned me off him, and made me think that he might not be the right person for me to hang out with. It wasn't gross as much as it was very inappropriate material for a conversation with a woman especially a woman you had just met. It involved talk about male genitalia , condoms, cum, and the like. I am a very open-minded girl, but I was not impressed.
Eternal Sunshine Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 Let me taste your dinner? :lmao::sick::sick: Never say this again. And I mean NEVER. 2
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