Is he not interested or playing games?

[Silver_star]

So My last post "Do I give up?" was a while ago. I had a thing with a guy that ended poorly. I deleted him from Facebook and any way of communication was just cut off. Basically we werent dating, but we were talking every day and having a semi relationship and he got a gf all of a sudden. I was upset. I thought about him from time to time, and didnt contact him.

 

Fast Forward 8 months later and he is showing up in my life again, and I was tempted by a chat invite to chat with him again. I thought about him alot throughout the 8 month period. Facebook says he isnt in a relationship anymore. He told me in his chats what he is up to and that he thinks of me...which felt good. Because I thought of him too. Feelings were flooding back in but I am guarded. So I just told him me too, and signed off. He added me to facebook and talked to me the first night and was flirting with me again, and giving me all kinds of compliments and I miss this and that about you kind of comments. Since then he hasnt initiated any conversations on facebook to me. Although he seems to ALWAYs be on. :S I dont know what to do with this? He used to contact me all of the time on fb chat or msn. Now he doesnt.

 

From a guys perspective do you play initiation games? Like try and wait and see if she starts a convo first?

 

I dont know that I did the right thing by inviting him back into my life (even if its at a distance). I just know that I was thinking I missed him and maybe this way I could get some closure.

 

Any thoughts on my situation.

[D-Lish]

I have a thought, and you probably won't like it- but it's something every woman should embrace...

 

You met and dated, but he got into a relationship with someone else while you were dating. What does that say? He was "seeing you" but deemed another girl relationship worthy over you.

 

Now he is single again and drudging things up with you.

 

You need to consider yourself worthy of deeming you relationship material in the first place, not someone to come back to if his first choice didn't work out.

 

Be the prize, not an option. Tell this guy to go f&^% himself.

[Silver_star]

Yeah. You are right. Thank you. I need a good shake.

 

I agree. I wish I could turn off the analytical switch in my brain that wants to analyze his every move. I know its irrelevant anyways. BiG picture is he doesnt want me for more than anything physical, whether he is playing games about it or not.

[D-Lish]

Yeah. You are right. Thank you. I need a good shake.

 

I agree. I wish I could turn off the analytical switch in my brain that wants to analyze his every move. I know its irrelevant anyways. BiG picture is he doesnt want me for more than anything physical, whether he is playing games about it or not.

 

I remember once I was dating someone and it fizzled out because he met someone else- so broke things off with me. I quite liked him, and was excited when he broke up with the girl and contacted me again.

 

I told a guy at work that I was talking to the guy again and he gave me major crap. I remember his words until this day- He said "D-Lish, this guy sees you as an option, don't ever be someone's option"...

[Jamesblame]

Yeah...pretty normal for most people.

 

Go on dates with a couple people, get into relationship and stop talking to them. Relationship ends, start talking to those people again.

 

It's not necessarily wrong, but it is insensitive to someone's hurt feelings.

 

The question is why be interested in someone who obviously found someone "better," and is only talking to you again because they lost them. It's a variation of talking/flirting with an ex after a relationship tanks.

[sweetkiwi]

don't do it. Move on. If you're lonely get a fish. If you're really lonely get a cat. If you want to have a best friend get a dog. This guy will never see you as a girlfriend unless he's ran out of other options. Gross.