RSTRM95 Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 My ex bf broke up with me ( we're both 17) over facebook (sadly). He said he didn't have the time or effort. He hadn't talked to me much in almost 2 weeks. We argued for a while, all i wanted is for him to work it out with me, but he didn't want to. I said some things I can't quite remember... But I know I appeared weak.. I was already depressed when this happened. Then I texted him saying that he was a coward, etc for doing this. He said: " go away. I'm breaking up with you because I don't like you". He also didn't want to be friends... A while proposed the idea of being just friends ( a while after he confessed his love), and that threw me off. so. i guess i pushed him too much to make our relationship work. he was already stressed from work and school. So, we haven't talked since then, it's been about a week (not long at all, i know). But the thing is, we loved each other. I met him through a friend ( they used to be best friends) and she knew he didn't throw love around. She was shocked as well.He used to be so sweet and make me feel like I was on top of the world. I thought he was the one. I miss talking to him so much, and I wonder if he does as well... I wonder if he even cares about me anymore... he just pushed me out of his life in every way possible, and he used to be crazy about me... first time I met him i felt a spark- we clicked. He was my first kiss, even actual cuddle with a guy. What i really want is to have him back, but i know it's not easy. He lives 5 hours away from me, so it's very taunting. I'm trying to get over him, but it's hard.. he was everything i looked for in a guy. Any tips?
River Rain Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 You're so young...he's not everything you're looking for in a guy, you're romanticizing the past because you feel rejected and lonely. I mean, he said he doesn't like you, that's not what you're looking for in a guy. And you were right to call him a coward for breaking up with you via a social networking site, don't take that back. The only thing that you can do is go no contact. A lot of us are successful, and a lot of us fail at that, but it's really the only way to get over it. No contact means no calls, texting or even going to his fb page, no lurking. You have to just remove him from your life because he made his wishes very clear to you. Keep talking on this forum too, it helps so many people. 3
Author RSTRM95 Posted October 25, 2012 Author Posted October 25, 2012 Yeah, thanks for the advice. And I haven't been trying to contact him or anything. I just can't stop thinking about the good times, which is normal at this stage, so I have been told. I just don't know what I did to make him not like me. Guess being too pushy, but I believe that I am still the better person.
Eddie Edirol Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 Yeah, thanks for the advice. And I haven't been trying to contact him or anything. I just can't stop thinking about the good times, which is normal at this stage, so I have been told. I just don't know what I did to make him not like me. Guess being too pushy, but I believe that I am still the better person. It could be anything. it could be you bieng pushy, could be he found a gf in his town. If he isnt that into you because of the distance, its easy for him to develop feelings for a girl locally. People need to touch each other to keep that connection completed. Especially at 17. Does he miss you and miss talking to you? Def not. If he says straight up "go away, I dont like you" then he doesnt even mince words and sounds like he is fed up with you. You wont know what youve done wrong now, but once you start to think of him less, and come out of the depression fog, you might be able to piece some things together that will help you see where you both went wrong, and learn from that for the next relationship. for now, read up on this board, because they will be life lessons when it comes to dating. This board will teach you how to see bad situations coming, and how to watch guys behavior so you can know immediately if a guys feelings for you have changed.
Author RSTRM95 Posted October 26, 2012 Author Posted October 26, 2012 Could be. I asked him if there was someone else, he said no, he wasn't going to date anyone. But he also didn't want to date me, which sort of sent me mixed signals. But either way he has some problems of his own that he needs to sort out.
Eddie Edirol Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 Could be. I asked him if there was someone else, he said no, he wasn't going to date anyone. But he also didn't want to date me, which sort of sent me mixed signals. But either way he has some problems of his own that he needs to sort out. The dumpers usually lie to you and tell you that there isnt someone else to soften the blow, ease their guilt for leading you on, its the same old story over and over again. The other dumpers cheat and throw the new person in your face. But you cant see him so he cant do that, unless you stalk his facebook. So you might want to unfriend him before you see pics pop up on his page with him and someone new. Thats usually the way it happens. They say they dont want to date anyone, then a month later theyre with someone new. Its all lies.
NewPerspective93 Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 (edited) Ironically, I broke up with my girlfriend because of her lack of contact, since we both go to different colleges. I told her how her lack of contact hurt me, since her texts and calls diminished as far as three weeks ago, and she said she was sorry. It seemed like she wasn't into it as much as I was since she always hung out with her guy friends, but didn't have time for me, as I was the one who called almost every day and her every couple of days. Anyways, I digress. The point is, you have to move on if someone doesn't put in the effort as much as you do. Think about it, do you want to be with someone who DOESN'T want to be with you and doesn't seem to make it work? Thinking logically is helping me move on, for I don't deserve this, and neither do you. Keep your head up, keep the faith, and everything else will fall into place. Edited October 26, 2012 by NewPerspective93 1
Sasu Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 Its not always right to move on when someone can't put as much effort as you,sometimes ppl just have different personalities ,stressed with work and stuffs,however you gotta rethink when someone starts treating you other way around " go away. I'm breaking up with you because I don't like you" In your case, obviously you are in love with him and want him back again so go in NC mode and give it time,lots and lots of time ,if he really loved you he'll reach out to you ,if not you'll be on your way to recovery . 1
Author RSTRM95 Posted November 1, 2012 Author Posted November 1, 2012 Yeah, true. Some crack under stress, and turn into total jerks. And maybe he had some commitment issues.. he's a teenage guy anyways. Doesn't give him the excuse to act the way he did and say the things he said, though..and like the saying goes "If you love it, let it go.. if it comes back, it's yours, if not, it never was"
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