When a guy is seriously interested, he will jump through flaming hoops for you

[Mme. Chaucer]

I did every one of those things you mentioned and got steamrolled in my last relationship. I think all women want romance, but how many truly appreciate it? What is the proper balance between being nice and being too nice?

 

Well, that is why I think the position stated by the OP is not fair. She might only seriously consider the flaming hoop jumpers - but a good portion of those might be risking singed hairs on their nether regions for nothing.

 

On the other hand, IMO there's nothing at all wrong with requiring a serious demonstration of interest. If that's what you want and need to be comfortable, then so be it. For other women, doing some pursuing works.

[Under The Radar]

Well, that is why I think the position stated by the OP is not fair. She might only seriously consider the flaming hoop jumpers - but a good portion of those might be risking singed hairs on their nether regions for nothing.

 

On the other hand, IMO there's nothing at all wrong with requiring a serious demonstration of interest. If that's what you want and need to be comfortable, then so be it. For other women, doing some pursuing works.

 

 

Exactly, you took the words right out of my mouth.

 

Another point to consider is how many "flaming hoops" are reasonable for someone to "jump through" when you are almost complete strangers? The OP has mentioned many times her experiences OLD and seeing multiple people at once. Do I, as a guy, want to "hoop jump" for someone that isn't giving me the same level of approach.

 

At what stage are one's resources (both emotional and financial) being misused for "hoop jumping" with no reciprocation? If I'm in a LTR I have no problem doing that, but to go all out in the beginning? I think some people have a warped sense of entitlement when it comes to the courting process. Just my 2 cents.