moveONorStay Posted October 24, 2012 Posted October 24, 2012 Should you let them know you are doing it or should you just do it? Let them know that you are using the time to get yourself back or don't say anything and just disappear? Thoughts welcome!
a.b Posted October 24, 2012 Posted October 24, 2012 I suppose it's up to the individual and what they feel they need to do. And how things ended between them? I sent a message and made it clear not to contact me anymore. Problem solved.
Clothed-in-strengh Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 I think you should just do it. Why tell them? If you tell them, they won't believe you anyway, so let them notice on their own.
Simon Phoenix Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 Yeah, don't tell them. Defeats the purpose and makes it look like you are trying to trick or test them. Just go silent.
Carenth Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 1)Don't tell them. 2)Delete all contacts you have for them. 3)Don't contact or reply to any contact. 4)???? 5)Move on and have a happy life without them.
gonefishin Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 I just want to say I hope the no contact is for you To move on and not a ploy to bring her back to u.. I tried this and she took my no contact as me pushing Her away and not been arsed.. Just made my situation worse. So many sites on line claim this is the way to "get your ex back" Just be Careful with these games.. Hopefully it will help u move on and be happy
Simon Phoenix Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 I just want to say I hope the no contact is for you To move on and not a ploy to bring her back to u.. I tried this and she took my no contact as me pushing Her away and not been arsed.. Just made my situation worse. So many sites on line claim this is the way to "get your ex back" Just be Careful with these games.. Hopefully it will help u move on and be happy No contact isn't a game. It's a way to move on. If you are using it to play a game, you are doing it wrong.
Carenth Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 Agreed it's not a game, you are kidding yourself if you think it will get your ex back. Truth is your ex is already gone, nothing you can do about that but pick up the pieces, chin up and move on. No contact helps speed up this process as you aren't begging your ex like a lost puppy for whatever scraps they will throw your way, while maintaining your self respect and dignity. Besides who wants to be with someone who doesn't care about you anymore?
Simon Phoenix Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 Agreed it's not a game, you are kidding yourself if you think it will get your ex back. Truth is your ex is already gone, nothing you can do about that but pick up the pieces, chin up and move on. No contact helps speed up this process as you aren't begging your ex like a lost puppy for whatever scraps they will throw your way, while maintaining your self respect and dignity. Besides who wants to be with someone who doesn't care about you anymore? It can get them back, but only after you have totally moved on in the first place. If you are using it to specifically get them back, it's not going to work out in your favor. If you use it, move on and somewhere down the road they reappear in your life, then that's a bonus if you really want to go down that road again. I had a chance to get back with an ex who I had a particularly toxic break from after a year of NC (didn't know what NC was, I just stopped interacting with her) and after another three months following that. It was like that time apart served as a reset button. I ended up not doing it, but yeah, NC can work for that. But for it to work, you have to want to and be willing to move on and never see that person again.
NavyAirTraffic Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 I think you need to be honest with yourself. Some people go NC to force their ex's to miss them and want them back, almost a Jedi mind trick. Others really want to move on and believe NC is the best course of doing so. Think about why you're doing it, but if you are truly ready to heal and move on I say tell them.... Let them know this is not a game and that their contact is not welcome.
Author moveONorStay Posted October 25, 2012 Author Posted October 25, 2012 Well I sent an email to say I wouldn't be making any further contact and wanted to go my separate ways from her. I feel better that I did it
mishy Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 if you actively tell someone you are going NC then if you change your mind it is harder to back down and not look like a tool. For me its easier not to tell them and just do it, it relieves the pressure to succeed at it.
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