Kasey70 Posted July 31, 2004 Posted July 31, 2004 What do others think of this situation? My friend had been going to a counselor, (who happens to be her preacher) about advice on things that were going on between her and her H. There would be times that her counselor/preacher would call and check in to see how things were going with her and her H. The calls became right much on both of there parts. He would call her, she would return his call, vise versa. This went on for awhile and ended up that sometimes they would talk about things, nothing inparticular for an hour or two. Then one day out of the blue the calls stop. The situation does a complete turn around. I think she got use to talking with him be it in counseling sessions or on the phone, and she thought it was strange that the calls stopped. He has been nothing but kind and helpful to her. However, she told me she wondered if he might be getting a little to attached and that's why he stopped. (if he did get attatched then he probably did the right thing). She decided to ask him why and his response to her was, "I think you've read too much into this." Now sure, thats a possibilty, but at the same time, he was the one that called her a lot to check in with her. He said he felt that she and her H were getting along better, and that's why he stopped callin'. However, he offered to her that if she ever needed to talk again about anything, to feel free to do so. She has also stated he looks at her alot, when at church etc. He may look at a lot of people, I don't know. She says when she looks at him he will turn away. Some of the comments she told me that were made before were things like: she asked if she could put her feet up on the chair in his office because they were hurting and he said, "You can put your feet on whatever you want." Another thing he said was, she wanted to ask him a favor and told him he could say no if he wanted to, he then said, " I try not to say no to you on a lot of things." I was just wondering if it sounded like maybe he got a little emotionally involved and backed away, or if my friend was just imagining this and maybe she did read to much into it. Her and her H are doing a lot better, but I think she considered her counselor/preacher as a friend who has helped, but was just wondering if it was possibble that he could have gotten attached, realized it, and backed away. She did say that a lot of what was going on before, as far as phone calls, visits (counseling sessions) talking at church, etc., all that just did a complete turn around all of a sudden. It went from him for awhile giving advice and saying things like "Well as a FRIEND, I think you should, blah blah," It went from him saying "FRIEND," back to saying, "Well as a PREACHER, I think you should ..." She said that before she ever stated having counseling sessions with her he would speak at church, now it's that he will talk with her for counseling sessions, but will only say 'hi" in passing, where as beofre he would talk to her more etc. I told her I thought it was possible that he got a little off track with the emotions, realized it, and is trying to get himself back on track. What do others think?
locogurl Posted July 31, 2004 Posted July 31, 2004 I think your are right. It sounds as if he did get too attached and decided to back off. He sounds like a good guy. She's lucky he has such high standards and didn't let things get out of hand.
Fayebelle Posted August 1, 2004 Posted August 1, 2004 One of the most important things for a councelor of any type to gain is trust. By touching base on other aspects of her life he accomplished this as a Friend- but as a one to give guidence he reverted to Preacher. Is your friend's situation better now? If so it makes perfect sense for him to fade to the backround. Your friend seems awfully concerned w/him distancing himself- are you sure she wasn't the one getting too attached?
honey2005 Posted August 1, 2004 Posted August 1, 2004 I agree with Fayebelle, it sounds like he was just doing his job.
Kasey70 Posted August 1, 2004 Posted August 1, 2004 disconcertainly>> Yes he is married as well. Fayebelle>> Yes, she became emotionally attatched as well. She just recently admitted to me that she had been. She said she thought maybe sometimes that was common to become attatched to someone that has been there and given advice. Figures thats what it was. She has a very high intuition about things, as I guess alot of peole do, and she felt that it wasn't just her that felt something there herself, she felt he did as well. Of course wheather he did or not, she will probably never know for sure, simply because of who he is, he's not likely to tell her that. She did mention to me before that he has made the comment that he thought they were kindred spirits, and he thought she had a love/hate relationship with him because one minute she agrees with what he has to say then the next she doesn't, all because he told her something she didn't wont to hear. He has also told her that out of all the people at the church she was the only other person other than his wife that knew his heart so well. I'm thinking maybe he means by the fact he is a good person. Not sure what else that could be. Another thing she said was, once they were talking and she said she told him she really liked him, (Which she feels was a mistake, and it may have been). Thats all she said to him and his response was, "What kind of person would I be if I reciprocated that?" I think she was just making a statement that she liked him and wasn't expecting that. It may also not really mean he felt the same way but it could be he was just asking the question in general. However she did say others have told her they thought he did feel the same why else would he say that. I don't really know. Anyway she told me even if he did she knew nothing would come of it, and that she didn't want it too. Guess she was just flattered maybe that someone took an interest or something. Ok reply with what you think now that you have more info..lol
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