Why cant I just let go.

[taya]

I agree. Do not contact. No contact is supposed to be for you to heal and move on. Does it work? Eventually I guess but I am far from there. My 15 month relationship ended 2 months ago when I got sick of being lied to and cheated on as well as being taken for granted. No contact began by accident when he sensed my pulling away and quit calling. Was he really done with me or wanting me to beg? Dont know but I needed time away. After a few weeks I wanted to talk to him so I texted asking him to talk. He said we would but never made the effort. I tried this one more time...same thing...said he'd call and he didnt. So at that point I was done. 2 weeks after my last text I got an "im sorry". I dont know if this was because he was sorry about the whole thing, sorry he didnt call as he said he would, or sorry ...its OVER. Anyhow I havent contacted since. He is on facebook. I am not. Who knows what he is doing but Im glad I dont know. I doubt he is thinking about me but if he does he now has no clue of what I am up to. Basically I have fell off the face of the earth to him because he has NO IDEA about me. He doesnt know if I am having the time of my life with someone else or crying in bed. Unfortunately its been the bed scene. Somehow I need to get my self, head and esteem together. I know Im a catch, good person and better than most he will meet. They say the best revenge is to live well and be happy. Somehow I will get there. I hope I NEVER see him again but if I bump into him I know I need to be healed happy and have my head up. Dont contact anymore, I know its hard but it is best for your esteem. If anyone is REALLY interested, they will come for you. If they dont..their loss.

 

 

wow i just saw this and you made some very good point girl and am so sorry what as happen to you i know how you feel about crying in bed and trying to be strong to move past this ..and you know why you going to move past this because you understand whats need to be done even if it hurts it took me awhile to fully understand that when someone is acting like this you just got to let them go but i can truly say i understand ...and i hope everthing got much better for you??? i like when you said this I know its hard but it is best for your self esteem. If anyone is REALLY interested, they will come for you. If they dont..their loss,,,,, because its so true and am sure your a great catch

[Krioyo_baby20]

well I also begged him to come back to me but he refused. He then told me he has someone else already. After that I didn't contact him anymore. But i am still feeling depressed everyday. I just don't know what to do or how to move on. I want to start over but just don't know how.. How did u do it?

[taya]

well I also begged him to come back to me but he refused. He then told me he has someone else already. After that I didn't contact him anymore. But i am still feeling depressed everyday. I just don't know what to do or how to move on. I want to start over but just don't know how.. How did u do it?

 

 

awwww am sorry your in this pain i know the feeling everday wishing he would come back ...but he dont so you feel sad , lost and depressed ..what i did was put it in my head that he chose another girl and hes with her nothing i can do about it just like how he made his choice am making mind to let go ..i started talking to other guys went out on dates and started to go out with my friends more whenever i would think about him i tell my self i cant force anyone to be with me and he made his choice and thinking that always gave me a peace of mind ..my advice get out there and start meeting some great guys flert a little and mingle ..dont be depress over someone that chose to be with someone eles ask your self this is he driving him self crazy over you??? no so why should you ...time to let go and find someone great for you ...you may be surprise he may come back but dont sit and wait .go have fun it hurts like hell i know but you know what would hurt more being with someone you had to force to be with you not because they wanted to but because you beg and bother them ..so go find that guy that you dont have to beg ...your ex made him choice so let him live with it ..so many great hot man are out there

Edited November 19, 2012 by taya

[Viv]

Hi Vikki, I just read through you posts and I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I was finding the no contact so hard over a year ago, but when I finally managed to do it, I finally started to recover and now I am truly glad that it is over with him.

 

It felt worse at first because it is like an addiction and not hearing from him made me so sad. But I think that you need to feel as sad as you really are before you move on and you wont be able to do that while you still have hope.

 

I was also wondering, you said you became depressed during the relationship and blame that on why it failed, do you not think that maybe you felt that way partly because you were anxious that he kept ending it, I wouldn't be able to cope with that.

 

Stay strong, I promise you that you wont always feel this way.

 

Viv

[jamielee]

i have been wit this man for more than 6years after 5 years of dating he started with cheating and became abusive i tried to get out of it and i did bt then i went back to him after e left me for another woman couple of months later i got pregnant but nothing changed he didnt care about me being pregnant he just got more worst after the birth of the baby truth csme out he was seeing another woman then e ended it with her cause he wanted to be a father to our son so it went for a month then he decided to called it quits toldd me he has fallen inluv with another woman that she was way better then, it hurt so bad but now i still cant let go of him i ended up sleeping with him and now he totally does not want to see him the day after sleepig with him is when he told me that he does not wnt to see..he was my first love i know and see that he does no love me snymore and he treat me so bad i wana let go but wer do i start and how do i do that?

[jamielee]

am also going thru the same situation and i feel like its obseesion i dont know wer to start i did counsellin to but its not helping am calling him and e would tell dont call again tell him that he was a girlfriend i think to myself why isnt that reason enough tp let go..i dont want to be with him cause he hurt me so bad but i dont why its still hard to walk away

[taya]

i have been wit this man for more than 6years after 5 years of dating he started with cheating and became abusive i tried to get out of it and i did bt then i went back to him after e left me for another woman couple of months later i got pregnant but nothing changed he didnt care about me being pregnant he just got more worst after the birth of the baby truth csme out he was seeing another woman then e ended it with her cause he wanted to be a father to our son so it went for a month then he decided to called it quits toldd me he has fallen inluv with another woman that she was way better then, it hurt so bad but now i still cant let go of him i ended up sleeping with him and now he totally does not want to see him the day after sleepig with him is when he told me that he does not wnt to see..he was my first love i know and see that he does no love me snymore and he treat me so bad i wana let go but wer do i start and how do i do that?

 

 

hun you no were to start and you know how to let go its just too hard for you ..you have a son now and i know you want him to have a nice family just by thinking about my son alone would have make me leave that man dont do this to your baby .you start by accepting this man dont love you he cheated and left you for another woman and hes not good to you or your son ..dont text him dont call him its over dont take him back if he comes back take care of your baby and dont worry about a cheater,, after you get over this man look for a good man to treat you and your baby right that will be there for you and your son ..its hard but let go let go stop worrying about this man and get a new man ..dont you want a family?? i know you do so let this bad man go so a good one can come in your life ....start at nc blocking him everwere out of your life never text or call him or reply i repeat start at nc and when it get hard for you post here so many people here will left you up

[jamielee]

i am really trying i dont want to be with him anymore i just want to get out of that life..alot of damage is done for me to ever go back to him..but i dont know why i still call at times i got nothing to say i just and text him for no reason..

[taya]

i am really trying i dont want to be with him anymore i just want to get out of that life..alot of damage is done for me to ever go back to him..but i dont know why i still call at times i got nothing to say i just and text him for no reason..

 

 

yeah because you think you need him and he see it thats why hes treating you like that ...stop stop stop it never easy for us woman to let a man go but we have to do it even if it hurts ..but what will hurt more is taking this abuse from this man for the rest of your life ...time for a change it starts today ..he have no respect for you none at all because you gave him that power over you but time to take it back ..no more text or call to that looser hes not even a real man so you not missing out on anything with him and stop worring about him because hes not about you....and try harder for your son try harder hes counting on you to give him the best

Edited November 19, 2012 by taya

[jamielee]

Taya going thru the same situation how do i go no contact if we have a son..what if he texts ab about the baby or what if he shows up at our sons bapitism?

[jamielee]

what if he calls me about my son do i just ignore him and what if he shows up at my sons baptism? its not that easy ignoring him

[itsmyfault]

No Contact, If you can't help but look, block everything.

 

Or don't and prove to yourself you are strong enough to get over this.

I havent blocked my ex on anything, we are even on great terms. we could easily be friends but im not over her at all yet. I can easily go on FB or Gmail and see if she is around or what she has been doing, but finally after weeks of trying I've stopped "caring" what she is up to.

 

Try and limit your online socialising too. Get out there and meet new people who can make you happy.

[Krioyo_baby20]

Dear Taya, thank you for your reply. I have gone out and meet other guys but none of them are better than him. They all remind me that he wasn't that bad after all, i mean his character. He may have chosen someone else but he had what i was looking for in a guy. I think that's why its so difficult to let go. If only i could meet someone who can show me the opposite. That indeed there are some better guys out there.

[Krioyo_baby20]

No Contact, If you can't help but look, block everything.

 

Or don't and prove to yourself you are strong enough to get over this.

I havent blocked my ex on anything, we are even on great terms. we could easily be friends but im not over her at all yet. I can easily go on FB or Gmail and see if she is around or what she has been doing, but finally after weeks of trying I've stopped "caring" what she is up to.

 

Try and limit your online socialising too. Get out there and meet new people who can make you happy.

 

I have gone out there and met new people but that hasn't helped me at all. I am still depressed, i am still feeling lonely.

[taya]

what if he calls me about my son do i just ignore him and what if he shows up at my sons baptism? its not that easy ignoring him

 

 

 

i ear ya but i was thinking i read you say he dont even care about his son so girl hes not a good dad anyway ,but lets put your sons needs first so he needs to know is dad ok when he call dont have any conversation about you and him just about his son and keep the conversation short ..and if he shows up at your house tell him next time he needs to tell you when hes coming over because its not his house ...and set up time for him and his son so you dont have to see him out of the blue ...you say its hard but whats harder is haveing this man treating you and your son like this it hard but you have to stop texting or calling this man he left you for another woman cheated and abuse you ...ok so you cant go full no contact because you guys have a son but set up some guide line to block him out of your life ..if you dont change i can tell you this you will spend the rest of your life be treated like garbage by this man so its time to wake up and stop making excuse.....

[taya]

I have gone out there and met new people but that hasn't helped me at all. I am still depressed, i am still feeling lonely.

 

 

 

hun the thing you dont get is you have to make your self happy before any man can make you happy yes you went out there and the guys you met were like your ex what you do stop trying no you keep meeting new guys until you find the right one ..their is saying that say rome was not build in one day so keep trying and most importanly make your self happy know man can make you happy if your not happy with your self..so stop it ...i would rather live by my self and be happy then with any man that treat me like crap...or i would rather search my whole life for that good man then to be with any man that treat me like crap...get my point so you may not find a great guy as quick as you want to but dont stop trying and make your self happy in the mean time ..it all start with you ....YOU DONT NEED A MAN TO MAKE YOU HAPPY ..if a man is the reason why your happy then your in troble ...i use to do that but not anymore am not depress or lonely and am not dating anyone at the moment but when i do he wont make me happy because i was already happy

Edited November 19, 2012 by taya

[jamielee]

thank you taya for not judging..some times i wonder why some one does that to another human being..but all will go by..and i thought that i keep no contact with him and if he wants to see his son he can arrange with my parents there was a time i left him alone then after a week he started calling and texting me non stop about my son,thats how i ended up being with him...

[Krioyo_baby20]

hun the thing you dont get is you have to make your self happy before any man can make you happy yes you went out there and the guys you met were like your ex what you do stop trying no you keep meeting new guys until you find the right one ..their is saying that say rome was not build in one day so keep trying and most importanly make your self happy know man can make you happy if your not happy with your self..so stop it ...i would rather live by my self and be happy then with any man that treat me like crap...or i would rather search my whole life for that good man then to be with any man that treat me like crap...get my point so you may not find a great guy as quick as you want to but dont stop trying and make your self happy in the mean time ..it all start with you ....YOU DONT NEED A MAN TO MAKE YOU HAPPY ..if a man is the reason why your happy then your in troble ...i use to do that but not anymore am not depress or lonely and am not dating anyone at the moment but when i do he wont make me happy because i was already happy

 

 

Thank you Taya, your right! I should start with myself. I am going to start and work on improving myself and do the things I like to do.

[taya]

thank you taya for not judging..some times i wonder why some one does that to another human being..but all will go by..and i thought that i keep no contact with him and if he wants to see his son he can arrange with my parents there was a time i left him alone then after a week he started calling and texting me non stop about my son,thats how i ended up being with him...

 

 

 

so do it again and this time dont fall for his **** hes no good to you and will never be time to wake up and find you a better man let him get your son from your mother ..and if he keeps calling you dont answer ..just tell him the rules that he knows what going to happen then you start ...come on do it for your baby do it for a better life do it for your respect .you cant spend the rest of your life on this earth being a mans toy ..dont you want to look back one day and say yes i have live a great life and i gave my kids the best ..no one can change their past but anyone can change their future

[jamielee]

just told him that as of today he should call my mother if there is anything he wants to say or wants that involve the kid and he said its fine he will do that i was hoping that he myt say sumthing or have a conversation with me but he didnt and i kept it all in pretanded to be just fine and kept it short

[taya]

Thank you Taya, your right! I should start with myself. I am going to start and work on improving myself and do the things I like to do.

 

 

yeah go out and live our life dont worry you never know a good man may jut pop up out of no were ..but first before you get with anyone you need to be happy with your life you need to can stand on your own two feet and get by ever day happy as happy can be...i have learn never depend on any man to make you happy even if hes a good man because a man love a woman that can do her own thing and dont need him because she cant stand up on her own or make her own happyness ...you dont need a man the only person you need to make you happy is your self ......omg have been in your shoe girl for other matters tho but somtimes i even feel the l like you but evertime am starting to feel depreess or sad i tell me self to get over it i control my life not no one eles

[taya]

just told him that as of today he should call my mother if there is anything he wants to say or wants that involve the kid and he said its fine he will do that i was hoping that he myt say sumthing or have a conversation with me but he didnt and i kept it all in pretanded to be just fine and kept it short

 

 

 

you did just right and you know the resaon he dident care is because he dont take what you say serious...so show him you are from now on never call or text him ever and plz dont respond to any of is text or calls this is the end and the start to somthing new for you ..and just remeber one thing your not missing out on anything good with this man so let him go ..

Edited November 19, 2012 by taya

[jamielee]

Dear Taya, thank you for your reply. I have gone out and meet other guys but none of them are better than him. They all remind me that he wasn't that bad after all, i mean his character. He may have chosen someone else but he had what i was looking for in a guy. I think that's why its so difficult to let go. If only i could meet someone who can show me the opposite. That indeed there are some better guys out there.

 

 

if your not over him you wont find a guy thats gonna show you the opposite cause what you looking for let go dont rush into replacing him cause then you end up with another one just like him... my boyfriend left me for another woman thought that looking for another guy will fix it but it didnt cause there is just not that person who can be him i am gonna be on my own for a while when this goes by then i will look for someone who is not him

[jamielee]

jah he does not take me seriously..but i will be strong and control myself even if i want to call or text him i really need to put this behind me its been going on for to long

[taya]

jah he does not take me seriously..but i will be strong and control myself even if i want to call or text him i really need to put this behind me its been going on for to long

 

 

you show him girl you show him...i had a guy did to me once left me for another girl its the most hurtful feeling that someone can feel ..he came back to me but i got ride of him ..but i will never forget what pain that was ..my mistake was like yours i dident let him go right away i would call text him and acting crazy over this man that was with another woman i finaly let go not even a momth after he saw i stop beging or calling or texting him he strated texting me the table was turn he started beging me and calling me girl i never answer him for a year that man text and text that hes sorry but i for gave him but never for got the pain i felt thats why in your story i saw my self ..i told my self i wanted someone that love me i wanted a nice family and i wanted my self respect back