Minka333 Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 Mine would be: -big time flirt/cheater -has kids/divorced(excess baggage) -if we are sexually incompatible -bores me to death(dull-minded) -cheap/leech -unhygienic(stinks, dirty nails, clothes) -shorter than me(i'm 5'4) -hideously unattractive(obese) -has no manners/breeding(unethical) And lastly, anybody that my family and friends have dated are automatically a big NO-NO!
SmileFace Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 Oh great. Stereotyping is bad, but it doesn't matter because I don't really count...... feel free to talk trash about those "other" black women I don't identify with. Please reread my post - I said I do identify with them. However I don't consider myself African American, I really don't see why you will take offense to that. I didn't agree with a word that Hawaii said so I don't get your gripe.
ScreamingTrees Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 I guess some of mine would be: 1) Heavy smoker 2) Parties excessively 3) Still behaves like he's just got out of high school 4) Talks smack about other girls 5) Wants children in the future 6)On the dole 7) Can't take a joke at his expense 8) Too fussy on wanting his own way 9) Has no ambition for his life 10) Doesn't know how to be a nerd. Those are just a few I'm actually not that picky, but if I spotted any of those in early dates, I'd totally ditch. I don't think it would matter how much I liked him if any of those things were present. Let's see how I do here.. 1) Pass. 2) Pass. 3) Pass. 4) Pass.. ? lol 5) Potential problem. 6) Pass. 7) Pass. 8) Potential problem. 9) Pass. 10) Definitely pass. Hmm.. So maybe being open to having kids with the right person is going to be a problem to many girls nowadays? Seems a lot of women don't want any children. Being a bit stubborn probably doesn't help my case either..
SmileFace Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 I find that people decide to stereotype me as Nigerian, since I don't fit their stereotype of African-American women. Instead of just deciding we are individuals that come in many types, shades and personalities. Just like you said you don't fit the stereotype so they try to find a next label for you and that is wrong. I don't like labels so I don't use one.
Mycteria Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 Damn, it's like we're the same person, Well, as long as you meant that BEING anti-drug is a dealbreaker. i like my occasional joint. #9 is huge. I didn't realize it until I was dating someone who was hot, good on paper, but conversations were painful. No flow, I felt like I was contributing wayyy more than him trying to keep it going. Whenever I'd smile at him, he'd smile back and say "what?" Um, I don't know, I'm smiling because there's such a goddamn huge lull in the convo. INITIATE SOMETHING, A TOPIC, ANYTHING! Can't keep blabbering on about myself over here. Being boring in general is becoming a dealbreaker. I LOVE staying in and watching a movie most of the time, but when it's all he wants to do week in and week out, I just get so sick of it. I only date atheists, so that weeds out 90% of the population right off the bat. Yeah I meant that being anti drug is a deal breaker. I would be pretty disappointed if I could never enjoy a psychedelic experience with my partner. That and my idea of a great night at home with my partner would be candles, weed, and pandora set to Thievery Corporation. Haha. Love the rest of your post. I agree. Except that I will date spiritual people as long as it's "my" type of spirituality. 2
SmileFace Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 ohnoudiint= oh no you didn't I really hope I didn't offend you or anyone else with that post, it really was not my intention. So if I did, I definitely apologize. I was speaking very generally. I haven't came across a race of people yet where I couldn't find beautiful women in/out. I don't consider it hurtful or a lie or anything but blunt to say that I'm guided (somewhat) by stereotypes and withhold my judgement for the individual. You, Smiley, Island girl from day 1. in no way shape or form a stereotypical african-american. No worries, I got it after 10 minutes...lol kidding. I wasn't offended or anything. People speak generally all the time - I do it myself. However the person who peaked this topic may be thinking a little differently. I understand preferences for races but not to keen to deal breakers but like I say "to each their own", it isn't my business to care. @ Bolded , you better stop before I get masked as not identifying with them or something like that - Walks away screaming black and proud.lol
GirlontheLam Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 Please reread my post - I said I do identify with them. However I don't consider myself African American, I really don't see why you will take offense to that. I didn't agree with a word that Hawaii said so I don't get your gripe. There is quite a lot of discussion on who's African-American and who isn't. But at the end of the day, people who are born here are lumped in the African-American bucket. And obviously, some people have a much clearer stake to the African part of the African-American. I don't differentiate from "black woman" and "African-American women" if we are talking native or naturalized citizens. Black, is a much much broader term that eliminates culture, and includes the entire diaspora, so I don't agree with your classification and the implications. I.e. I am black and american but not African-American> therefore I am different is how I read it.
SmileFace Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 There is quite a lot of discussion on who's African-American and who isn't. But at the end of the day, people who are born here are lumped in the African-American bucket. And obviously, some people have a much clearer stake to the African part of the African-American. I don't differentiate from "black woman" and "African-American women" if we are talking native or naturalized citizens. Black, is a much much broader term that eliminates culture, and includes the entire diaspora, so I don't agree with your classification and the implications. I.e. I am black and american but not African-American> therefore I am different is how I read it. Different from what - his generalization? Which is only a generalization. I really don't see what you don't agree with - you are only restated what I said. Yes, I will identify with a African-American women since I am lumped into that bracket either way. I have no problem if someone wants to assume I am. Like you said there are tons of discussion about who is African-American, and I am on the fence where I will say I am not. You can agree to that or not - that is your opinion. It isn't about being better or different. There are tons of females from every part of the world who may have an "angry black women" attittude. Anyway I am human and rather not have a label. I was born in America and my parents are from a small island. I am a human with a mix culture and that is all that matters - if people want to a put a label on my color they are more than welcome. But I will always be more than that - I am me! :-) 1
amaysngrace Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 Here’s a list of deal breakers that will (hopefully) soften the blow: 1) Doesn't listen to music. 2) Doesn't think voting is important. 3) Doesn't adhere to proper grammar. 4) Doesn't have or get my sense of humor. 5) Doesn't have a good r'ship with his family. These are just some of mine. What are some of yours? Can't be a leech. Can't be a mooch. Can't be a bore. Can't be a d!ck. Can't be a drunk. Can't be a pedo. Can't be a lard.
ScreamingTrees Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 If she likes cats, well, then.. Damn, I'm sold.. (I type this as my hairy whiskered child is sitting on me and watching.) 2
Jamesblame Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 We probably won't be compatible if she: 1. Has a low sex drive 2. Is manipulative/selfish 3. Is more "traditional, family-oriented" 4. Mean and no sense of humor.
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