MarkV Posted October 24, 2012 Posted October 24, 2012 Hi,just after an opinion. Back in March me and a girl I have liked for eight years began talking. In July we hung out a few times,text loads and,went to a wedding together and slept together once. I really let her in my life and got her involved with my horse, gym etc. She works away as an air hostess sometimes four days a time but I was getting texts nearly everyday she was home and she was buying me things and doing lots of sweet stuff. But she never opened up to me about feelings etc. I developed feelings for her and it was torture not telling her so one day about six weeks ago I told her that i didn't want to go crazy as i respect her career etc but that iv liked her for eight years and I'd love to spend more time with her when she is home. She replied saying that she has thought about it long and hard but she doesn't want a relationship and can we just hang out as friends. I said I'm sorry but I can't do that as its torture after all that's happened with us and I'm not happy about the mixed signals. She may have to move with work next year if she gets promoted but its only an hour away and she said she doesn't want to let me down next year. Anyways,iv distanced myself from her but she still sends me a random text every week to just start conversation. Silly things like 'how's the horse.' or 'had a tough shift yesterday'. My replies are quite short as I don't want to get lead on again and given mixed signals even though I'm crazy about her..what should I do? I don't want to come across as an idiot to her but I don't know what she is playing at?
Quiet Storm Posted October 24, 2012 Posted October 24, 2012 She's using you for attention and ego strokes. Ignore her texts or block her number.
zebracolors Posted October 24, 2012 Posted October 24, 2012 I have yet to fully understand the whole texting thing. You can't always really gage someone's intentions just with texts. Its possible she feels bad/guilty for not returning your feelings, considering that you two used to spend alot of time together. IMO the real meaning of love isn't "possession", so if you still feel that way for her, thats something you have to wrestle with as Quiet Storm brings up a good point. On the other hand, keep in mind that she could be just trying to stay in touch with you, but be keeping you on the back burner as just an option which is never fair. Whatever happens, hope you decide what is best for you to do.
Jamesblame Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 Ignore them until you can be just friends. Otherwise ignore them forever. It just hurts otherwise. Actively move on, and for god's sake please learn the lesson. Try for something the moment you want to. Why waste years on someone who turns out isn't interested?! (and we've all done it one time or another). Just in the future. Shoot first and you'll never regret it.
dasein Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 Yeah, you've slept with her, shown willingness to involve her in your life, opened up to her. Try to move on entirely and act on prospects more quickly next time, when 8 year things finally have a chance, there is often so much residual pressure and baggage that things get uncomfortable. Good luck.
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