GG3 Posted October 24, 2012 Posted October 24, 2012 My cousin set me up with a friend of hers and her husband. She thinks of both of us as very nice with some bad romantic luck. I lived 3000 miles away and he flew out to meet me and have dinner for two evenings one weekend. At the end of the second evening we kissed and that is all. That was two months ago and we have talked everyday since. My cousin was right on that we are a lot alike. Since then I took a job and moved to another city that is a short plane ride away. This weekend we have plans to meet in a city in between and have made plans to see other a few weekends after that. We have separate rooms so there is no pressure...but would it seem to soon if we slept together? We've been talking for a long time now and he has been gentlemanly. Honestly I'm kind of dying to have sex but am wondering if I should try to control myself lol.
january2011 Posted October 24, 2012 Posted October 24, 2012 My cousin set me up with a friend of hers and her husband. Just to clarify, as this bit doesn't seem to match the rest of your OP, are you seeing a husband and wife?
Author GG3 Posted October 24, 2012 Author Posted October 24, 2012 Oops. The friend is a friend of hers and is also her husbands friend I meant. One person. A man.
january2011 Posted October 24, 2012 Posted October 24, 2012 Ah okay. Thanks for clearing that up, GG3. I don't think there's a "right" time to sleep with someone as it will depend on the couple in question. If you've only kissed, then it suggests that your passion for each other might not be there yet. But that was two months ago. When you see him this weekend, perhaps you can talk to him about it directly. Tell him that you want him and wondered if he felt the same way. Alternatively, if you think it's going very well and you feel a strong attraction coming from his side (you're very touchy with each other), at the end of the evening, you can ask him if he'd like to stay with you in your room. Or get him to walk you to your door and then ask if he'd like to come in. If he's clued up enough, he'll take that as a hint that you want to take things further. When you start kissing and removing each other's clothes, that will move it towards sex. 1
HeavenOrHell Posted October 24, 2012 Posted October 24, 2012 If it feels right for both of you then it's not too soon Why not just cuddle up and see what happens Have to admit me and my partner were sexual (but didn't do everything, as such!) the first time we met, we'd been in touch for 3 1/2 months. Before we met we'd had suggestive conversations and fantasies, which more than lived up to expectations when we met IRL. The second time we met, which was about 6 weeks later, we did everything Before we met he had said to me he'd prefer if we didn't have separate rooms, cos we'd be able to talk and hug then if we wanted to My mum and some friends were worried about us sharing a room as I'd not met him before, so I told them exactly where I'd be and I let them know I was ok and a friend phoned while I was there to check up on me as well. A few minutes after meeting him I gave him a tight hug and it felt so lovely and right, he was more nervous than me I think, I'm more forthcoming than him as well, but he said he was glad I hugged him. We had lots more cuddling later, which can lead to other stuff Why control yourself if it feels right? Maybe he's just being respectful if he doesn't make the first move? He probably won't know what's on your mind if you've not told him. Maybe you could guage how he feels about it before you meet at the weekend? Maybe you could have a flirty, sexy chat, or chats, before this weekend! My cousin set me up with a friend of hers and her husband. She thinks of both of us as very nice with some bad romantic luck. I lived 3000 miles away and he flew out to meet me and have dinner for two evenings one weekend. At the end of the second evening we kissed and that is all. That was two months ago and we have talked everyday since. My cousin was right on that we are a lot alike. Since then I took a job and moved to another city that is a short plane ride away. This weekend we have plans to meet in a city in between and have made plans to see other a few weekends after that. We have separate rooms so there is no pressure...but would it seem to soon if we slept together? We've been talking for a long time now and he has been gentlemanly. Honestly I'm kind of dying to have sex but am wondering if I should try to control myself lol.
ana0pera Posted October 24, 2012 Posted October 24, 2012 I think that you'll know when the time is right. I had been talking to my partner for about a year before we met and we had an explicit talk about sexual boundaries before I went to visit him (mostly because I was super nervous, as he was ready to do everything ). But once I got there and was in his arms I knew I wanted to be intimate with him. We didn't do it right away as he wanted to make sure that I was ready, but it happened by day three . Take it slow and see how you feel by the end of the night, if he's giving you signals etc. There's no harm in asking him to come in and take it from there He might want you too but is afraid of ruining it with too much pressure, so let him know that you're ready but don't put any pressure on him either. LDRs operate on a different timeline than regular relationships so you're not playing by traditional "rules" if that helps. Good luck! 1
HeavenOrHell Posted October 24, 2012 Posted October 24, 2012 Your last sentence is so true! And there's a sense of wanting to make the most of each other while you have the chance I think that you'll know when the time is right. I had been talking to my partner for about a year before we met and we had an explicit talk about sexual boundaries before I went to visit him (mostly because I was super nervous, as he was ready to do everything ). But once I got there and was in his arms I knew I wanted to be intimate with him. We didn't do it right away as he wanted to make sure that I was ready, but it happened by day three . Take it slow and see how you feel by the end of the night, if he's giving you signals etc. There's no harm in asking him to come in and take it from there He might want you too but is afraid of ruining it with too much pressure, so let him know that you're ready but don't put any pressure on him either. LDRs operate on a different timeline than regular relationships so you're not playing by traditional "rules" if that helps. Good luck!
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