brokenman06 Posted October 24, 2012 Posted October 24, 2012 I dont really know where to start or how to proceed but here we go.. i have been married for 3 years and love my wife very much she was the only women i ever trusted and loved the way i do. Our marriage was good for a while then we made some life choices that put alot of stress on our marriage.. we argued alot and she came home from work one day and said she was leaving so we could have time to think.. during the one month seperation she contacted me frequently to come home but also frequently accused me of sleeping with other women which i didnt do.. i have custody of my 6yr old daughyer from previous relationship.. long story short i took her back.. we proceed to do things with my exs family my daughters mothers family.. in which my exs brother was always around whome i considered a friend.. i found out my wife went to see him and asj him to get an apartment together during our separation which raised red flags. I started to pay attention to how they acted around eachother and asked her numerous times if they got involved..after a couple week's of drilling her she told me she sent him pics of herself via text message and pf vourse my gut told me there was more to it.. she and he denied all of i... i later got info from his girlfriend that he told her he slept with my wife.. my wife continued to deny it until finally she caved and told me everything.. she took him shopping then they ended up getting some beer and parking and walkin down a dirt rd where they eventually stopped and sat down.. the rest is history.. she said it was awful she didn't enjoy it and he didnt even get off... i dont know of i can ever get over it and trust her again since she allowed me to hang out with the 2 of them after we got back together like nothing happened... she says she is sorry and doesn't know why she did it. Oh not to.mention he gave her chlamydia which i ended up getting also.. i think there were more men then jist him but will never know i guess.. so is it possible to ever get over all of the lies and desete?? Sorry for the long post and thank you
stillafool Posted October 24, 2012 Posted October 24, 2012 Wow! I think it is strange that while your wife was trying to get back with you she found time to Yuck him. She sounds like a woman who will do anything for attention. I wouldn't be surprised if there were others.
JasonRules Posted October 24, 2012 Posted October 24, 2012 Do you know why you're a "broken man"? Because you allow your emotions, and not your logic/brain, to control your actions. My wife wants to separate for 1 month and then I find out that she had sex with another man through a 3rd party, all the while she denied it. I don't know what's worse. Her cheating on you or her patronizing and insulting you by stating that "sex was horrible" or "I didn't even get off" while cheating on you. Personally, I would had been out the door long before any of this. But yea...maybe you should be with her because she didn't even get any pleasure out of being with you. Can you tell me where you met so I can go and find another precious gem like her too?
moveONorStay Posted October 24, 2012 Posted October 24, 2012 Unforgivable...divorce her...she'll get nothing as a result of her infedility.
geegirl Posted October 24, 2012 Posted October 24, 2012 (edited) You've just taught her that it's perfectly acceptable to cheat, lie and harm you and she will do it again. You've just taught her that by still being with her, her behavior is acceptable to you, and she will do it again. She said she didn't get off and didn't even enjoy it and you're still with her? I literally wanted to puke. Grow some balls. It's highly unattractive when a man lays like a doormat and lets a woman wipe her feet all over you. I'm sorry to be harsh but nothing can be harsher than the way you allow yourself to be treated by this woman. Edited October 24, 2012 by geegirl
Author brokenman06 Posted October 24, 2012 Author Posted October 24, 2012 You've just taught her that it's perfectly acceptable to cheat, lie and harm you and she will do it again. You've just taught her that by still being with her, her behavior is acceptable to you, and she will do it again. She said she didn't get off and didn't even enjoy it and you're still with her? I literally wanted to puke. Grow some balls. It's highly unattractive when a man lays like a doormat and lets a woman wipe her feet all over you. I'm sorry to be harsh but nothing can be harsher than the way you allow yourself to be treated by this woman. Grow some balls? Wow.... so i guess the fact that i love this women with all ny heart means nothinh? So u guys are saying there is no hope in making a marriage work after something like this happens? If it were some strange dude i could get over it much easier but it being my daughters uncle and that i hung out with him several times wirh my wife afyer we got back together before i found out is what hurts the most... ahe also deleted her whole email account 2 days before she came back to me which leads me to believe there is much more she is hiding.. i was the guy that nobody ever thought would get married but when i met my wife i knew she was the one and she is very good to my daughter whos real mother os complete pos! So its hard to just throw away our marriage and our family.. has anyone been betrayed this was and made it work after all was said and done?
geegirl Posted October 24, 2012 Posted October 24, 2012 (edited) Grow some balls? Yes, grow some balls. Love has nothing to do with it when you have to sacrifice your self-respect and dignity for someone that clearly doesn't feel the same way about you. You mistake love for dependence, addiction, and comfort. Don't get me wrong. We can all "love" ****ty people but it doesn't justify staying in a relationship with someone that is toxic and unhealthy to you and your child. "Love" is not enough. And she is no role model for an impressionable young daughter. Imagine if the story got out and your daughter found out. This woman slept with my uncle? What does that teach her? Wow.... so i guess the fact that i love this women with all ny heart means nothinh? Does she love you? Her actions speak otherwise. Love alone does not support a relationship. There are several pillars that build a foundation. Respect, loyalty, compassion, EMPATHY, trust, etc. You can love her with all your heart, so does that mean that no matter how badly she treats you, you just sit there like a puppet and take it? All for love? You compromise yourself for this so called love that cheats and lies to you? Cmon' now. So u guys are saying there is no hope in making a marriage work after something like this happens? If it were some strange dude i could get over it much easier but it being my daughters uncle and that i hung out with him several times wirh my wife afyer we got back together before i found out is what hurts the most... ahe also deleted her whole email account 2 days before she came back to me which leads me to believe there is much more she is hiding.. Are you listening to what you are saying? There is deceit in your marriage. And when you allow this behavior, in that you are telling her it is okay by taking her back, her patterns will continue. She told you she didn't get off with the man instead of falling at your feet and crying to the heavens asking for forgiveness. There was no attempt to seek help for her issues. Oh, you shouldn't be mad about me having sex with him, I didn't get off so it doesn't mean anything. If anything you should be kicking her to the curb for engaging with someone close to you and your family. She has no boundaries or respect for anyone. Did she say she wants to get counselling to help her with her issues or even suggest you go with her, other than she didn't orgasm with the guy? i was the guy that nobody ever thought would get married but when i met my wife i knew she was the one and she is very good to my daughter whos real mother os complete pos! So its hard to just throw away our marriage and our family.. has anyone been betrayed this was and made it work after all was said and done? You're clinging to the fantasy of marriage. Nobody ever thought you would get married and now you are so you're clinging to that dream you achieved, whether bad or good, you're going to hold on to it. You didn't throw it away. She threw it away when she decided to sleep with other men, bang your daughter's uncle and give you an STD. You really need to start looking at your reality. Stop holding on because of fear. It has nothing to do with you throwing it away. That's you making excuses to stay in a dysfunctional marriage. If you didn't catch her, she would have never confessed. The lies would have continued. So, ask yourself what it is you're really fighting for. Edited October 24, 2012 by geegirl
Author brokenman06 Posted October 24, 2012 Author Posted October 24, 2012 Grow some balls? Yes, grow some balls. Love has nothing to do with it when you have to sacrifice your self-respect and dignity for someone that clearly doesn't feel the same way about you. You mistake love for dependence, addiction, and comfort. Don't get me wrong. We can all "love" ****ty people but it doesn't justify staying in a relationship with someone that is toxic and unhealthy to you and your child. "Love" is not enough. And she is no role model for an impressionable young daughter. Imagine if the story got out and your daughter found out. This woman slept with my uncle? What does that teach her? Wow.... so i guess the fact that i love this women with all ny heart means nothinh? Does she love you? Her actions speak otherwise. Love alone does not support a relationship. There are several pillars that build a foundation. Respect, loyalty, compassion, EMPATHY, trust, etc. You can love her with all your heart, so does that mean that no matter how badly she treats you, you just sit there like a puppet and take it? All for love? You compromise yourself for this so called love that cheats and lies to you? Cmon' now. So u guys are saying there is no hope in making a marriage work after something like this happens? If it were some strange dude i could get over it much easier but it being my daughters uncle and that i hung out with him several times wirh my wife afyer we got back together before i found out is what hurts the most... ahe also deleted her whole email account 2 days before she came back to me which leads me to believe there is much more she is hiding.. Are you listening to what you are saying? There is deceit in your marriage. And when you allow this behavior, in that you are telling her it is okay by taking her back, her patterns will continue. She told you she didn't get off with the man instead of falling at your feet and crying to the heavens asking for forgiveness. There was no attempt to seek help for her issues. Oh, you shouldn't be mad about me having sex with him, I didn't get off so it doesn't mean anything. If anything you should be kicking her to the curb for engaging with someone close to you and your family. She has no boundaries or respect for anyone. Did she say she wants to get counselling to help her with her issues or even suggest you go with her, other than she didn't orgasm with the guy? i was the guy that nobody ever thought would get married but when i met my wife i knew she was the one and she is very good to my daughter whos real mother os complete pos! So its hard to just throw away our marriage and our family.. has anyone been betrayed this was and made it work after all was said and done? You're clinging to the fantasy of marriage. Nobody ever thought you would get married and now you are so you're clinging to that dream you achieved, whether bad or good, you're going to hold on to it. You didn't throw it away. She threw it away when she decided to sleep with other men, bang your daughter's uncle and give you an STD. You really need to start looking at your reality. Stop holding on because of fear. It has nothing to do with you throwing it away. That's you making excuses to stay in a dysfunctional marriage. If you didn't catch her, she would have never confessed. The lies would have continued. So, ask yourself what it is you're really fighting for. Actually she did cry and crawl at my feet badly because at first i said hit the road.. it has been a long battle for her to come home to me.. and yes she is going for counseling in another week when her insurance through work kicks in and yes we talked about me going with her... it wasnt that she didn't get off it was that he didn't get off.. and i onky know that because i made her tell me details of how it happened so i could stop painting a picture in my head about something that might not have been.. i wanted to know every details so i could wprk on getting over it without anymore questions about what happened.. i do believe it might have just been a really big stupid mistake and that she hung out with him just to piss me off but he is a scumbag also and hanging out turned onto much more.. i guess i was really hoping to hear that people have been through similar stuff and it can all wprk out but i see thats not the case...
Bobibble Posted October 28, 2012 Posted October 28, 2012 In my opinion, the only way this will work is if you continue with the divorce and see if she fights to keep you and changes her ways. I honestly don't understand how you didn't vomit when she told you "he didn't even get off", I almost did when I read that. My boyfriend wears the pants in our relationship. He is the one who calls the shots, and while I obviously have a say in everything and I do get my way the majority of the time things go through him and thats the way I like it. I want the man to be in control and have the upper hand, I guess I'm old fashioned like that. My aunt wears the pants in hers and my uncles relationship, and I can't stand it. Your wife is my aunt and you are my uncle; its extremely, EXTREMELY unattractive.
Tiera D Posted October 30, 2012 Posted October 30, 2012 OP you only wanted to be in denial you refuse to accept the horrible truth,im gona be harsh the possibility of you finding success stories is slim in this place,let me tell you what happens , you will continue ignoring our advice and try in futility to seek the "Hope" you so desire, and your wife will hurt you again and again as long as you let her Face reality op, read the facts you wrote! you think she is confused or unable to think when shes cheating on you? get real she KNOWS exactly what she is doing when she cheated by the way to cheating women crying = blackmail TD
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