Confused in Florida Posted July 31, 2004 Posted July 31, 2004 I never believed in support groups or forums until now. I always figured everything out on m y own, but now I have encountered a situation unlike any before. So I found myself reading many posts on this site. I have to admit it has helped a lot. Anyways, my story is no different than most others here. In short we were together for a year and suddenly she said she viewed me as more of a friend, than a b/f. She went on to give many reasons including school, work, dependency, and not spending time with friends. None of these things have anything to do with me. Especially since months ago I questioned her as to why she wasn't talking to or spending time with her friends, and I was basically told she was with me now and did not need them. It has only been a few days since the "break up"(really I got dumped!). She still calls several times a day. Tells me I am still her best friend. To add to the misery I should tell you that this person is my coworker, who I have to interact with on any job I do, since we work in teams of two people and she is assigned to work with me. I could request my employer to change my "partner", but I do not want to push her further away. I have kept constantly busy since the break up. This seems to help keep my mind off things, but again I have constant reminder anytime I go to work. I have read many posts on this site and taken a lot of the advice to heart. However I have one question which still lingers. The day before our relationship ended, I had bought a gift for her since our one year anniversary had just passed. I want to give her this gift, but don't know if its appropriate, I don't want to send a mixed up signal. Having said that I have no use for the gift and if I don't give it to her I'll probably just throw it away. So what do you'll suggest.
acidrein_08 Posted July 31, 2004 Posted July 31, 2004 Hey man, I know exactly what your going through right now. The worst news I have to give you is that it's up to her wether she wants to be with you and you can't change her mind. But you never know if she is just needing some time to figure things out right now and needs a little space. I would still talk to her and ask her how she feels and try to show her that you care about her without spilling out all your emotions. It's tuff, getting broke up with, but it might not be over. Just tell her how you feel and if you really want to be with her then give her the gift, tell her exactly what your feeling and leave the decision to her. If you don't hear from her after that then it's time to move on, but don't hide how you feel, tell her. Good luck!
BruceLee Posted August 1, 2004 Posted August 1, 2004 That's harsh bud. I reckon you should give her the present and explain when and why you bought it (stops the mixed signals, see.....). I haven't personally remained friends with any of my exes, but i know quite a few people that it's worked out for, and you never know, if you go back to being friends for a while, it might make your relationship even stronger than it was before....... Remember, "friends first" and all that. good luck, bud
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