He wrote back

[Drseussgrrl]

Well I posted in another thread that I finally reached out to my ex after about 10 weeks of no contact, but with his constantly "liking" the sh*t out of my FB page.

 

This was the exchange:

 

"Hi *****,

 

I wanted a good amount of time to pass before officially reaching out to you in a meaningful way, with a clear mind and heart.

 

I've thought about you in the past months. I think people enter your life sometimes for reasons unknown, but always for a reason, and remembering all the fun we had over the summer always puts a smile on my face.

 

I hope you're doing well."

 

And his response, 8 days later (Eight days?):

 

"Thank you for the message. I often wonder about you and hope that you are happy, then I remind myself that you don't know any other way to be, and it makes me smile. I agree with you completely that people are sometimes meant to enter your life, and I'm very thankful that it always seems to be right when you need them. It was a wonderful summer, and wouldn't have been the same without you. I like seeing your Facebook posts because it looks like you're spending a lot of time with friends and family, and you always have witty status updates. I'm doing great, just moved into an apartment in the **** of Richmond. I have a roommate named ****, and he's really cool. Still haven't gotten the divorce finalized, but I feel like I can see a light at the end of the tunnel. I hope you're doing well too :)"

 

So - that's it. I haven't decided if I'm going to respond because there wasn't really anything to respond to.

 

Just thought I'd update everyone on the sitch. Sometimes it ain't all bad.

Edited October 24, 2012 by Drseussgrrl

[gonefishin]

Hate to be the bearer of bad news but it looks he may either be playing games

Making u wait eight days to reply or in fact he's not interested .

Hard to say . But he didn't really give you anything to reply with so if u did reply you'd probably be reaching .

Just my opinion no badness intended !

[Drseussgrrl]

I don't think he's interested. Still don't know if I'm going to respond.

 

Considering we have so many close mutual friends, and after all the fun we had over the summer, reaching out when I did just felt right.

[gonefishin]

I don't really know if he gave u a "back in" in that mail...

Maybe wait till ur out wit the mutual friends and see how that

Goes

[Lisa_Lisa]

I'm going through the same thing. I reached out after 4 months of NC and at the end of the email he wrote, 'I love you', but I'm not sure in what context he meant it. He also said he would give me his new phone number as soon as he got a new phone through his company so we could talk. But I'm still really confused. And then I stupidly wrote him another email basically admitting I'm walking on egg shells.

 

But I feel better having reached out since it lifted a weight off my shoulders.

 

What I think he's doing with you, Drseussgrrl is playing a mind game because if he were truly just a friend or whatever there'd be no hesitation in replying faster than 8 days. But because you sent him that email he got the satisfaction of knowing that you still think about him and care about him. That's why he knows he's got you.

 

Liking everything on your Facebook was another mind game. He knows you're going to see it which means you're going to think about him. It's easy way to ignite thoughts of him. He's looking for an ego boost, not to reconcile.

[Drseussgrrl]

I agree.

 

But, just to be clear I didn't write him with the intention of reconciling. I don't want to at this point and I'm dating other men.

 

His wanting to enjoy the single life is precisely why we didn't end up in a long term relationship.

 

We did, however, have a pretty strong connection and had a lot of fun, and ended on good terms.

[dreamstate83]

The fact that you are writing here, is very telling. It's clear you still have some emotional attachments so I'll say two things on the matter:

 

1) If you want to be friends and get back that connection you once had

You both have to be at an emotional point where there is literally no emotional strings still connected. You have to be able to see them with someone else and literally not care. I don't mean care and hide it, I mean literally not be bothered by it. Until these conditions are met, friendship must wait.

 

2) If you are secretly hoping to get back together

If he decides he wants to be with you at some point, there will be absolutely zero doubt in your mind as to his intentions. Not even captain obvious could fly in and one-up the situation.

[Drseussgrrl]

I think there is almost always an emotional connection with someone you had feelings for, until someone else comes along and fills that spot in your life. That doesn't mean I don't recognize that our timing is all wrong and it was right to end, or that I'm hoping to get back together. Nothing has changed and it would have been more of the same. He lives an hour and a half away and is still battling it out with his ex wife. Despite our connection - that does NOT a good boyfriend candidate make.

 

I'm not sure exactly what I was hoping to accomplish by writing him other than it just felt really strange not to ever speak after we had spent all summer together, and he still hangs with my best friends. He mentioned that he would let me contact him as to respect my space. So after 10 weeks I finally felt in a place to do so.

 

I feel ok today and not at all tempted to write him back, quite honestly. I did want to share it here, however, as part of my journey.

[dreamstate83]

I know what it's like going from hearing from someone daily to nothing. It really does put a void in you for awhile. I'm glad to hear you are making great progress on filling that void in with your own life though!