Tree_Salmon Posted October 24, 2012 Posted October 24, 2012 So it's been a weird ride since I broke up with my ex almost 10 months ago. Her trying to get me back and me rejecting her (for the right reasons) Her getting with a rebound to spite me and now still with him. Her trying to cheat on him with me. Threats/Drama/Bull etc... And now I've been NC for a while. Been enjoying my life to the fullest and meeting incredible women. Successful, better shape than ever, quality of life improved... BUT I cant seem to form a connection with any new women. Most are successful and have their s**t together but I feel nothing for anyone. I almost feel like I'm broken. I just can't make that same connection with anyone. I thought I felt this way after my first love but it didn't last this long. I got over her much quicker than I thought I would. I moved on as soon as I found a better person. I just feel like that might not happen for me anymore. I'm much older and wiser than I was back then. Way more realistic and cynical. Has anyone felt this way nearing their 30's?
CarrieT Posted October 24, 2012 Posted October 24, 2012 I felt that way in my 40s after a pretty bad break-up... I was with my Ex for 2 1/2 years but the last 18 months of the relationship were the most drama-filled (and sexless) for my life. After we broke up, I dated a LOT and was surprised I couldn't find a connection. It was only at the end of the THIRD YEAR of dating that I finally met someone... Sometimes it takes time to heal, grieve, and be in a good enough space in your life - and in your head - to be able to make those connections. 1
Own Worst Enemy Posted October 24, 2012 Posted October 24, 2012 again yet. nothing to worry about, you're still in your 20's ffs. i'd swap anything for that! alternatively, you have met some nice girls, but nobody that really floats your boat. so have fun looking.
amaysngrace Posted October 24, 2012 Posted October 24, 2012 A lot of prior drama can make normal seem boring. Just sayin. 1
Author Tree_Salmon Posted October 24, 2012 Author Posted October 24, 2012 A lot of prior drama can make normal seem boring. Just sayin. Yeah, i thought about this the other day. I think i loved the crazy after a while. Crazy chicks are really fun it seems. I mean, I can be pretty crazy myself but always in a fun way. Plus, the sex was always great. I need another crazy to come along.
amaysngrace Posted October 24, 2012 Posted October 24, 2012 Yeah, i thought about this the other day. I think i loved the crazy after a while. Crazy chicks are really fun it seems. I mean, I can be pretty crazy myself but always in a fun way. Plus, the sex was always great. I need another crazy to come along. Crazy cool is fun. Dysfunctional...not so much. 1
gonefishin Posted October 24, 2012 Posted October 24, 2012 Wow what a saying ... Drama can make normal seem boring! I've never thought of that before but makes alot of sense really Does I'm gonna hang on to that! 1
Author Tree_Salmon Posted October 24, 2012 Author Posted October 24, 2012 Crazy cool is fun. Dysfunctional...not so much. I agree. A friend who was much older than me once told me " all women are crazy, it comes down to what level of crazy you're willing to tolerate" My ex's crazy started going through the roof. It became ridiculous. How do I find the tolerable crazies? I'm tired of feeling nothing for everyone who chases me.
amaysngrace Posted October 24, 2012 Posted October 24, 2012 I agree. A friend who was much older than me once told me " all women are crazy, it comes down to what level of crazy you're willing to tolerate" My ex's crazy started going through the roof. It became ridiculous. How do I find the tolerable crazies? I'm tired of feeling nothing for everyone who chases me. There's a fine line there. Probably the girls that chase you are weirdos and you're just in weirdo-magnet mode. Get your head together and you'll attract the right fun person. It doesn't sound like you're there quite yet though...but close. 1
flitzanu Posted October 24, 2012 Posted October 24, 2012 *not reading* yes...you're broken. we all are. 1
Author Tree_Salmon Posted October 24, 2012 Author Posted October 24, 2012 *not reading* yes...you're broken. we all are. I'm still awesome. I just no longer care to be emotionally invested. I guess it goes away? 1
Simon Phoenix Posted October 24, 2012 Posted October 24, 2012 I'm still awesome. I just no longer care to be emotionally invested. I guess it goes away? You'll get emotionally invested when you least expect it. That's what happens with me. You are content chugging along and living your life and "BAM!" you meet a person that just hooks you. And it usually comes right out of nowhere. 2
Author Tree_Salmon Posted October 24, 2012 Author Posted October 24, 2012 You'll get emotionally invested when you least expect it. That's what happens with me. You are content chugging along and living your life and "BAM!" you meet a person that just hooks you. And it usually comes right out of nowhere. Yeah it happened to me last time. I hope I'm still capable of this though. I've become very inwardly cynical.
The_Face Posted October 24, 2012 Posted October 24, 2012 You'll get emotionally invested when you least expect it. That's what happens with me. You are content chugging along and living your life and "BAM!" you meet a person that just hooks you. And it usually comes right out of nowhere. Happened to me. For the moment, I don't feel like I can connect to anybody, either. I don't think me and my ex would ever work out, even if she wanted me back, I don't think I can handle that sort of relationship. Yet, the few people I've met since the breakup have had no impact on me, where they very well could have were I not 27 and recently single. Sure in time we'll be singing different tunes, talking about how head over heels we are in love with someone new. But for now I can relate to the original post. Can't wait till my next BAM! moment. If it takes a while to happen, that's also A-OK for me. 1
Simon Phoenix Posted October 24, 2012 Posted October 24, 2012 Happened to me. For the moment, I don't feel like I can connect to anybody, either. I don't think me and my ex would ever work out, even if she wanted me back, I don't think I can handle that sort of relationship. Yet, the few people I've met since the breakup have had no impact on me, where they very well could have were I not 27 and recently single. Sure in time we'll be singing different tunes, talking about how head over heels we are in love with someone new. But for now I can relate to the original post. Can't wait till my next BAM! moment. If it takes a while to happen, that's also A-OK for me. Yeah, I'm not really looking for the next BAM! right now. The last BAM! sapped me good. 1
Author Tree_Salmon Posted October 24, 2012 Author Posted October 24, 2012 Yeah, I'm not really looking for the next BAM! right now. The last BAM! sapped me good. I'd definitely miss the "BAM" I had on a regular basis. 3
The_Face Posted October 24, 2012 Posted October 24, 2012 Yeah, I'm not really looking for the next BAM! right now. The last BAM! sapped me good. Damn. Me, too, actually. Good point. I take it back. Love stinks.
Simon Phoenix Posted October 24, 2012 Posted October 24, 2012 I'd definitely miss the "BAM" I had on a regular basis. I like the "wham bam, thank you ma'am" more right now.
Author Tree_Salmon Posted October 24, 2012 Author Posted October 24, 2012 I like the "wham bam, thank you ma'am" more right now. Overrated. Don't get me wrong, I love it but I do miss the "best friend" part of the connection I had. Can't really get that from the wham bam.
suladas Posted October 24, 2012 Posted October 24, 2012 Overrated. Don't get me wrong, I love it but I do miss the "best friend" part of the connection I had. Can't really get that from the wham bam. I agree with that, I miss a lot more then the sex.
Simon Phoenix Posted October 24, 2012 Posted October 24, 2012 Overrated. Don't get me wrong, I love it but I do miss the "best friend" part of the connection I had. Can't really get that from the wham bam. Well, right now I'm not really in the mood for that. Prefer to be detached until I'm completely over the last one, which I'm close.
todreaminblue Posted October 24, 2012 Posted October 24, 2012 You'll get emotionally invested when you least expect it. That's what happens with me. You are content chugging along and living your life and "BAM!" you meet a person that just hooks you. And it usually comes right out of nowhere. So true.....deb
flitzanu Posted October 24, 2012 Posted October 24, 2012 I'm still awesome. I just no longer care to be emotionally invested. I guess it goes away? it goes away eventually, yes. nothing wrong with being cynical though. 1
mishy Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 i read your original thread and she sounded liek a nutjob. I really think you are still in a state of shellshock, and its going to take a while to get your full mojo back. It hasnt been long, just give it more time, and dont worry
amaysngrace Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 I don't even care to have someone in my life right now. That's bad, right?
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