royalblue6 Posted October 24, 2012 Posted October 24, 2012 Hey guys, It's been a year since our break-up, it didn't end nicely and to be honest, we had both known for a while that we would be breaking up soon. We both made mistakes, and I admit I didn't treat him well. We dated for almost 3 years, it started when we were in high school but as we started growing up, it became apparent we had nothing in common. I had felt guilty for a long time about how I treated him and emailed a strictly apology letter in July and he gave a lengthy reply, telling me about his life (even though I didn't ask about it at all). He also said that he would never want me in his life again because he didn't trust me and thought I would stir up unnecessary drama. I replied that I was happy for him and said goodbye, not disclosing anything about my life. After that I finally moved on from him and started enjoying life once again. Then, a month ago (a year after our break-up), he emails me saying he would be okay with us maintaining contact via occasional emails, and proceeded to tell me all about his life and his new gf. I replied back that I don't want to remain in contact, I think the past should remain in the past and said I was happy for him. However as the day went on, I started thinking about the good things in our relationship and felt bad for being so cold and decided I wouldn't mind staying in touch. So I sent him and email and we emailed back and forth that night, and he said we should keep in touch every few months. But from his emails, I can tell he hasn't changed at all...we are even more incompatible than before. We have completely different priorities in life, as well as different goals. Even when we were emailing, it felt awkward and forced because we didn't have anything in common anymore. I now regret opening up contact, because I still do believe that the past belongs in the past, and he and I could never be friends because we're completely different and just wouldn't understand each other. My question is, how do I tell him I don't us keeping in touch? I don't want him to think I'm doing this because I still have feelings for him and can't handle hearing about his life and his gf. I just don't want him in my life because he hasn't changed at all, he's become even more of what he used to be. We would fight all the time before because we were so different and couldn't see where the other was coming from him...and now, its amplified even more. Should I email him myself and say that I don't think we should keep in touch because we're too different to be friends, because friends have to understand each other and it's obvious that our differences will always prevent us from doing that. Or should I wait until he emails me next and end it then? I hate this whole situation, I wish I just hadn't even opened up communication and brought this whole thing on myself. Thanks a lot in advance to anyone who replies
ScienceGal Posted October 24, 2012 Posted October 24, 2012 You don't have to explain anything to him. And who cares what he thinks about it. It's your life, and it's about YOU. You have the power to go no contact, and you owe him nothing. Block his email address and move on. Keeping making progress in your life. Good luck.
Author royalblue6 Posted October 24, 2012 Author Posted October 24, 2012 You don't have to explain anything to him. And who cares what he thinks about it. It's your life, and it's about YOU. You have the power to go no contact, and you owe him nothing. Block his email address and move on. Keeping making progress in your life. Good luck. Thanks for your reply ScienceGal. After the whole emailing thing, I talked to my best friend about it, and she helped me realize that he was just trying to incite some sort of reaction from me and acted like he was doing me a FAVOUR by offering to stay in contact. He was playing games, just like before...trying to show me how his life is better than mine, but I'm tired of games. I was honest with him and I don't have time for these childish acts. Before, I would have gladly lied and exaggerated about my life and went along with the whole thing but I don't want to do that anymore, it's too tiring, not to mention demoralizing. But I suppose I'm still not completely indifferent yet. I don't want to him to think he still has any kind of power over him or I'm upset he has moved on...because he expects it. I have to admit, I also don't want to know any more details of his life, because it made me start thinking about him again and I just want to forget about him and move on completely. There is no way I would ever date him again, and he's too selfish and stubborn to be a real friend to anyone.
dreamstate83 Posted October 24, 2012 Posted October 24, 2012 You think your question is difficult, but the only difficult thing about it is accepting the answer. How do you say no? Like this: "No." It's hard, but it's better to be true to yourself than tell a lie out of weakness
mammasita Posted October 24, 2012 Posted October 24, 2012 You don't owe him any explanation. Just block/ignore and move on.
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