Mr Nice Guy Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 Hi everyone, I have a problem that I would like some advice about calling and texting someone you like. So, I met this girl online who initiated contact on Sunday. We started talking and before long we found that we both were very interested. We both said we wanted to meet, but she couldn't just yet because she's going on holiday later in the week for two weeks. She wants to go on a date when she gets back though and asked me to wait for her. After staying up talking until 3am, she promised we would talk the next day. I told her I didn't know when I was going to be online but suggested maybe I could text message her to let her know when I would be free that day. She gave me her number, and I messaged her so she could get mine. That afternoon I sent her two messages, one saying that I hoped she was having a great day, but I accidentally left my name off at the end of it. She didn't reply to that one. I sent her another message 30 minutes later with my name at the end , letting her know that I would be home and free to chat after 8pm. She replied saying that hopefully she'll talk to me after 8pm. There were another two texts between us and her last one she said "speak later xx". I messaged her that night when at home at 8:30 to tell her I was free to chat if she was, but didn't get a reply and she didn't come online. After not hearing anything from her, I sent her one more message just before 10pm saying that I hoped she was having a lovely evening and left it. Also no reply. I planned on calling her today to see how she was, but didn't after being so busy and partially wondering if I should after the previous night. I held off before calling just before 10pm, which she didn't answer. She also hasn't been online on that dating site since Monday afternoon (she said she would check to see if I was online on Monday). Right now, I'm wondering if I should text in the morning to say I called because I wanted to see how she was since we didn't get to talk on Monday, that I understand that she's probably busy packing, to wish her a safe trip if we don't talk before she leaves, hopefully we'll chat once before she goes and that hopefully I'll see her when she gets back. So should I sms her and see if she responds or just leave it? Have I over contacted her and possibly stuffed things up before they really began? And generally, how often is it acceptable to call or text in those beginning stages? I think that if you want to call someone you like or message them, do it. But even though I hate playing games when dating, I feel like I need take note of it for the other person so I don't stuff up a potential relationship when we like each other just because I called or texted one too many times or not enough. What should I do?
rocketman122 Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 Hi everyone, I have a problem that I would like some advice about calling and texting someone you like. So, I met this girl online who initiated contact on Sunday. We started talking and before long we found that we both were very interested. We both said we wanted to meet, but she couldn't just yet because she's going on holiday later in the week for two weeks. She wants to go on a date when she gets back though and asked me to wait for her. After staying up talking until 3am, she promised we would talk the next day. I told her I didn't know when I was going to be online but suggested maybe I could text message her to let her know when I would be free that day. She gave me her number, and I messaged her so she could get mine. That afternoon I sent her two messages, one saying that I hoped she was having a great day, but I accidentally left my name off at the end of it. She didn't reply to that one. I sent her another message 30 minutes later with my name at the end , letting her know that I would be home and free to chat after 8pm. She replied saying that hopefully she'll talk to me after 8pm. There were another two texts between us and her last one she said "speak later xx". I messaged her that night when at home at 8:30 to tell her I was free to chat if she was, but didn't get a reply and she didn't come online. After not hearing anything from her, I sent her one more message just before 10pm saying that I hoped she was having a lovely evening and left it. Also no reply. I planned on calling her today to see how she was, but didn't after being so busy and partially wondering if I should after the previous night. I held off before calling just before 10pm, which she didn't answer. She also hasn't been online on that dating site since Monday afternoon (she said she would check to see if I was online on Monday). Right now, I'm wondering if I should text in the morning to say I called because I wanted to see how she was since we didn't get to talk on Monday, that I understand that she's probably busy packing, to wish her a safe trip if we don't talk before she leaves, hopefully we'll chat once before she goes and that hopefully I'll see her when she gets back. So should I sms her and see if she responds or just leave it? Have I over contacted her and possibly stuffed things up before they really began? And generally, how often is it acceptable to call or text in those beginning stages? I think that if you want to call someone you like or message them, do it. But even though I hate playing games when dating, I feel like I need take note of it for the other person so I don't stuff up a potential relationship when we like each other just because I called or texted one too many times or not enough. What should I do? Man up and call. text is so gay. just call. all these wussy men..
River Rain Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 You texted a bunch of times, no reply. You called, no reply...don't text again to say you called, she more than likely has call display. She did say she was going away for a few weeks, just back off until she gets back if you're interested. And yeah, stop the damn texting, phone calls (leave a message) and face to face are the way to go.
Author Mr Nice Guy Posted October 23, 2012 Author Posted October 23, 2012 Man up and call. text is so gay. just call. all these wussy men.. Thanks for your answer But you've over simplified it to whether I should be calling or texting her. I was asking if I should contact her and see if she replies or leave it, whether I've messed it up by texting her in showing my interest, whether I might've over contacted her and how often should you contact someone while showing your interest. I know she's interested but I'm worried that I might've messed it up as well as unsure she's just busy because she hasn't replied.
todreaminblue Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 Hi everyone, I have a problem that I would like some advice about calling and texting someone you like. So, I met this girl online who initiated contact on Sunday. We started talking and before long we found that we both were very interested. We both said we wanted to meet, but she couldn't just yet because she's going on holiday later in the week for two weeks. She wants to go on a date when she gets back though and asked me to wait for her. After staying up talking until 3am, she promised we would talk the next day. I told her I didn't know when I was going to be online but suggested maybe I could text message her to let her know when I would be free that day. She gave me her number, and I messaged her so she could get mine. That afternoon I sent her two messages, one saying that I hoped she was having a great day, but I accidentally left my name off at the end of it. She didn't reply to that one. I sent her another message 30 minutes later with my name at the end , letting her know that I would be home and free to chat after 8pm. She replied saying that hopefully she'll talk to me after 8pm. There were another two texts between us and her last one she said "speak later xx". I messaged her that night when at home at 8:30 to tell her I was free to chat if she was, but didn't get a reply and she didn't come online. After not hearing anything from her, I sent her one more message just before 10pm saying that I hoped she was having a lovely evening and left it. Also no reply. I planned on calling her today to see how she was, but didn't after being so busy and partially wondering if I should after the previous night. I held off before calling just before 10pm, which she didn't answer. She also hasn't been online on that dating site since Monday afternoon (she said she would check to see if I was online on Monday). Right now, I'm wondering if I should text in the morning to say I called because I wanted to see how she was since we didn't get to talk on Monday, that I understand that she's probably busy packing, to wish her a safe trip if we don't talk before she leaves, hopefully we'll chat once before she goes and that hopefully I'll see her when she gets back. So should I sms her and see if she responds or just leave it? Have I over contacted her and possibly stuffed things up before they really began? And generally, how often is it acceptable to call or text in those beginning stages? I think that if you want to call someone you like or message them, do it. But even though I hate playing games when dating, I feel like I need take note of it for the other person so I don't stuff up a potential relationship when we like each other just because I called or texted one too many times or not enough. What should I do? You know this makes me sad so many people are so confused about what to do ......i think you should do what you really want to do what is in your heart......if you truly like each other and the attraction is strong enough to build a relationship texting one too many times or phoning wont make a difference......when i truly like some one and i am invested in getting to know someone and begin a relationship fro one i know it.....so i am compromising.....i dont play games like dont text me x amount or its going to stop here....that's a game.......if i am busy i say so, if i am tired i say so ....that normally comes in when someone says hey how are you .....or what are you up to.....you should be able to follow your heart when in the right relationship you should be able to call whenever you feel like calling if she is busy she should say.....no games just communication....and if your lady friend doesnt want to be contacted as much she should come out with it.....i don't understand why she would though.... in my life relationships i have had and dates that have been three months or longer have always been pretty intense.....i dont call a lot im a boundary girl...but i respect the guy who calls me.....and if i am busy i say so......its mutual respect....and relationships at the beginning are more or less intense because you are feeling your way around someones personal space.....there's doubt and not wanting to over step.......when i used to date guys i guess followed their heart and contacted me a lot....and ...no...i didn't mind...i was just honest with them when i couldnt talk, for whatever reason that was, i was honest about that too....i wasnt into playing games .....today dating is so much harder its not a matter of a guy courting a girl...which is sad.....i always give my phone number to a guy i like and want to get to know......i like it when a guy calls me....i am old fashioned......but it is so much simpler the old fashioned way.....following your heart...me giving a guy my number is me following mine and my beliefs about communication....then it is up to the guy to decide...do i call her or not...if he truly likes me.....he does by following his heart...does that seem easy????.....dating to day is not easy......i just dont fit in.... .follow your heart call her....texts are notoriously easy to get mixed signals..i have teens texts suck.....or even better see her in person when you can one on one ......the more you see someone the more you can build on....deb
curlygirl40 Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 You sound like a sweet young man but you're OVERDOING IT. You remind me of that guy in the movie "Swingers" - he kept calling this girl's answering machine and leaving message after message, sounding more and more like a needy nutcase with each message he left. I'm not saying that your messages sound like they're from a needy nutcase, but they're making you LOOK needy. You've reached out ENOUGH. Lastly, it takes 1 whole minute to hit "reply" on a cell phone text message screen and quickly type, "Thanks for saying hi! Going crazy packing for my trip but promise to reach out to you when I have a minute..have a great evening and talk soon!" It's not that hard. She's chosen NOT to. You'll be entering "creepy needy guy" territory if you send yet ANOTHER text or call yet again. The ball is in HER court; whether she cares to lob it back or not remains to be seen. Exactly this!! Give it a rest, she knows how to find you. Likely either she has lost interest, or she is too busy getting ready for her trip. IMO you've reached out too much already. She knows you're interested, she knows how to reach you, you've discussed getting together after she returns. LET IT BE. You have a life. Get on with it. If she's still interested, she will reach out once she gets back. Ball is FIRMLY in her court. Wait to see what she does with it. Best of luck
rocketman122 Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 But you've over simplified it to whether I should be calling or texting her. No, youve overcomplicated it. no need for mind games. just call. dont think twice. what will she think, I texted already, will I be weak. forget that nonsense. too much misunderstanding with text. you cant pass along emotions and there are little nuisances in the persons voice which can tell you a lot. If I like someone, I will call her in the middle of the night if I want to. what every happened to picking up the phone just to hear the persons voice? people dating tactics suck today.
Author Mr Nice Guy Posted October 24, 2012 Author Posted October 24, 2012 Rocketman, I definitely agree that people's dating tactics suck. If I like someone and want to say hi or talk to them, I will do just that. That's exactly what I loved about my last serious relationship. We openly texted and called and neither of us had second thoughts about it. I remember something my ex said when I had some anxieties about us at the start...she said we shouldn't have to think about problems before they happen, that we should just enjoy what we have. It should be like that, it should just be simple: if we want to talk to someone we're interested in, we should be able to contact them if without worrying about contacting too much. Thanks for your opinions. Deciding when and how much to contact someone is always at the back of my mind when I meet someone new or start dating someone. I really don't like having to think about it. This time round me thinking about contacting her has a lot to do with us not talking on Monday when we said we would. I might've glazed over the part when she said "hopefully I'll talk to you after 8" when she said in her next message "speak later". I read that as being that we will be talking. Part of it was me not being sure if she would be coming online or if I was to call her, so I thought I would just message her to let her know I was free to talk if she was and later to say that I hoped she was having a lovely night. Right now I'm putting it down to her being busy packing for her trip. She hasn't been online on the dating site we met on since Monday afternoon too. She's going her trip tomorrow. I'm not holding my breath, but if she does contact me either now or when she gets back, we'll see how things go. By the way, when she gave me her number she said "be nice with my number :)". Does anyone know what that phrase means?
River Rain Posted October 24, 2012 Posted October 24, 2012 By the way, when she gave me her number she said "be nice with my number :)". Does anyone know what that phrase means? Don't abuse the privilege, so don't call and text too much. That's how I'd have taken it.
Author Mr Nice Guy Posted October 24, 2012 Author Posted October 24, 2012 Thanks River Rain. I've never heard that phrase before and had no clue as to what it meant. Hopefully I haven't so far.
River Rain Posted October 24, 2012 Posted October 24, 2012 Thanks River Rain. I've never heard that phrase before and had no clue as to what it meant. Hopefully I haven't so far. Guess you'll find out in a few weeks huh? Long wait! Hang in there.
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