Perpetually Learning Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 Ex texted me a couple of days ago showing a bit of regret and although I managed to come off as indifferent and perhaps even a bit dismissive, I'm finding the thought of reconciling more compelling than before (obviously, since she "opened the door" for me). The thing is, I don't think deep down I want reconciliation. We didn't get along too great; we're very different. We're just not compatible. I noticed this when we were together but I told myself that if we could work through our differences the relationship had the potential to be much stronger than the average. Perhaps foolish, but oh well. So I guess what I'm trying to ask is, is this normal? And how do I deal with it? Deep down I don't think I want reconciliation but it seems that there's a part of me that's attached to her that does and it won't stop nagging me! Will the nagging go away with time? Thank you.
River Rain Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 Time and no contact. You aren't compatible...that's what it comes down to. You're probably just missing the idea of a relationship, thinking of the good times, and feeling lonely. Your brain tells you it will never work...I think you should really just be as strong as you can and go no contact 100%.
Imagineer Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 Agreed with the above post. Deciding to move on is a hard step, and it's understandable that you start doubting your decision because of the smallest crumbs of attention you get from her. This won't go away if you continue like this, so cut ties, go NC, and listen to what you really feel inside.
Author Perpetually Learning Posted October 24, 2012 Author Posted October 24, 2012 Thank you both. I agree. With time and distraction, it should move to the back of my head and eventually disappear. I was just worried that the nagging wouldn't stop unless we tried something again and frankly, I don't want that.
River Rain Posted October 24, 2012 Posted October 24, 2012 Thank you both. I agree. With time and distraction, it should move to the back of my head and eventually disappear. I was just worried that the nagging wouldn't stop unless we tried something again and frankly, I don't want that. No, the nagging is just the doubt and loneliness and holding on to hope. I know what you mean though, and yes, it does stop, then it comes back, then it stops...it can be a long process, but you just have to fight it when it comes back and remind yourself why you don't want to try again.
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