PhillyDude Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 Sent this girl a message online and we had a nice flowing conversation. Then all of a sudden she asked me....."What company do you work for? Why would I reveal that information if I have not met you face to face? Can you imagine if a guy askes that question? The first thing she will think is...he must be a stalker Anyone agree?
SmileFace Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 She wants to find out where you do not work. Anywho I find the question rude and not nessacary. 1
River Rain Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 Sent this girl a message online and we had a nice flowing conversation. Then all of a sudden she asked me....."What company do you work for? Why would I reveal that information if I have not met you face to face? Can you imagine if a guy askes that question? The first thing she will think is...he must be a stalker Anyone agree? I wouldn't immediately assume she was a stalker...she's just probably trying to get to know you. Maybe she meant "what do you do for a living"? Personally though, I wouldn't tell a person that type of information (where I worked) until I got to know them first.
LexiB Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 For the first time I agree with you PD; inappropriate.
carhill Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 Then all of a sudden she asked me....."What company do you work for? 'Why do you want to know?' 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 I have asked that question before to find out how successful the guy is.
2sure Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 Sometimes during conversation , a person seems to indicate that they want a certain question to be asked. If they are saying - at work this, that Or In my profession ...etc. Or maybe she is trying to figure out if you work in her building or with her brother. I would think that normally asking for information that specific would be ...no, not right.
carhill Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 OP, at the point they asked, with interaction being completely nebulous to the 'real' and ostensibly the two of you being anyone and not yourselves at all, IMO ill-advised and inappropriate to answer. In the past, when similar questions were asked, I answered that I was 'gainfully unemployed for xxx years' (depending on the time of the question) and then asked 'why?'. I still answer the question that way. I like that.
rocketman122 Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 when I was OLD and any woman who asked me that early on or right away, I never replied. its obvious who you are doesnt matter and she's looking for money so move on.
2sure Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 Laughing at myself because I said asking was inappropriate. I dont go out with anyone unless Ive researched them and had a background check done. But I never come right out and ASK - thats inappropriate. Yes, I have issues 1
InJest Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 I've had women ask before, and I don't think it's inappropriate. Usually its when we're discussing..what we do for work. I think for the most part it's an innocent question, though I can see how someone might judge based on the answer.
GorillaTheater Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 I'd suck at this. I'd probably answer without thinking twice about it, thinking she was just making conversation. 3
Author PhillyDude Posted October 23, 2012 Author Posted October 23, 2012 She wants to find out where you do not work. Anywho I find the question rude and not nessacary. Yes I agree, way too personal before going on a date.
InJest Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 I think those who are offended by the question, probably don't like the answer they have to give. I really like and enjoy my job, and I like explaining it to people and talking about it, as well as hearing about theirs. 3
pink_sugar Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 Sent this girl a message online and we had a nice flowing conversation. Then all of a sudden she asked me....."What company do you work for? Why would I reveal that information if I have not met you face to face? Can you imagine if a guy askes that question? The first thing she will think is...he must be a stalker Anyone agree? Hmm, a better question would be "what do you do for a living". Although my dad usually counters that question with his interest to avoid women who are looking to see the size of his wallet.
SmileFace Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 I think those who are offended by the question, probably don't like the answer they have to give. I really like and enjoy my job, and I like explaining it to people and talking about it, as well as hearing about theirs. No, you can explain your job without answering what company you work for. I have worked for companies where it frowned upon to disclose this information to others but I will explain my job duties. I can easily say I work at a doctor's office and not which doctor - the doctor's office shouldn't make a difference. However I think the op will be offended if someone even asked if he worked. Since judging from his posts if he had the room to brag he would. That is what even prompted this post - since most people wouldn't make such a big deal over such a small question. The only reason I wouldn't share the company I work for is because it is private and for safety issues when now getting to know someone. However I will tell someone what I do - no problem. However I am not saying that you should tell someone you are Chef if you are in fact a fry cook at Mcdonalds. You can easily tell someone you are a fry cook ... it isn't about hiding what you do but keep your privacy - especially when meeting someone online.
EasyHeart Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 I'm not familar with OLD etiquette, but out here in the real world whenever I meet someone (whether in a dating context or not), the first two questions are (1) What's your name? and (2) Where do you work?
Eternal Sunshine Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 I'm not familar with OLD etiquette, but out here in the real world whenever I meet someone (whether in a dating context or not), the first two questions are (1) What's your name? and (2) Where do you work? Same....I am so used to it, I don't think twice.
carhill Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 Can't remember ever asking anyone where they work or what they do, and I've been on dozens, of not hundreds of dates and meetups over the decades. They offer, sure, or it comes up in conversation *after* we've pressed flesh and made eye contact. If someone asks what I do, I answer 'I fix things', which is the total and complete truth. I can fix most anything and each day finds me fixing something different.
veggirl Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 I can work for the largest or smallest company in the world.. as a janitor. That was my thought as well. Where do you work doesn't tell you anything about someone's "success" (I assume by that she meant is it a lucrative / prestigious position tho). I mean are you also gonna ask Where do you live in order to determine if he has a nice house? What do you do for work is a LOT different than Where do you work, to those who are saying they ask what someone does. That's fine, that is general get to know you stuff.
LexiB Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 I have asked that question before to find out how successful the guy is. Surprisingly, a lot of guys tended to volunteerthis information to me, when I did OLD. Presumably to show off. It was typically stock and bond traders or attorneys. Par for the personality type, I guess.
LexiB Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 That was my thought as well. Where do you work doesn't tell you anything about someone's "success" (I assume by that she meant is it a lucrative / prestigious position tho). I mean are you also gonna ask Where do you live in order to determine if he has a nice house? It can be very revealing if asked as a follow up question to "what do you do". There's likely a huge difference in pay scale between someone who's a financial analyst at Joe Schmoe Startup Company, vs. a financial analyst at Goldman Sachs, for example.
Pompom Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 I tend to ask such details to pretend to care, aka keeping the small-talk alive. I have often gotten the impression that I talk too much about myself and ask too little about my date, but while, on one hand, I enjoy it that way, I am also very curious about the other person, and if I don't ask, it's often to avoid appearing intrusive. But essentially, I don't "feel" much of a difference between that question and asking what breed of dog you have. Like, I care about a person's hobbies and personality, don't give much of a crap about their work unless it's military or police related, but I feel so rude not asking questions. So self-centered. Me, me, me. So for lack of better options, I may ask something that may seem inappropriate. I have not crossed the line into dick size yet though.
phineas Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 I think those who are offended by the question, probably don't like the answer they have to give. I really like and enjoy my job, and I like explaining it to people and talking about it, as well as hearing about theirs. Considering my typical OLD interactions are with women pushing 40 (but mostly it's already hit them in the backside) working crappy clerical jobs with multiple kids I'm def. not impressed by them asking me any personal info before actually meeting me. I mean WTF?!? I list my salary & the type of work I do. What else do they REALLY need to know? And when they ask it's right out of the gate, like "Mexican food is my favorite, what company do you work for?" 1
verhrzn Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 Or she's just curious. It's a pretty standard "Get to know you" question.
Recommended Posts