fallen8 Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 Hi fellas. My girlfriend of 9 years just left me 2 weeks ago.I have been reading the posts here for about a week and it seems to ease the pain for few minutes,so i just wanted to share my story with you all.A little background: Im 29 so is my ex also 29, we met in a small coastal town both were single and very serious of each other and our love.2 years later we moved to a big town together living there in the house my parents bought for us,it was hard but we had each other and its all that mattered, we had small fights like who must wash the dishes or why am i going to my friends house for a beer, but nothing majour.For the past 2 years we started discussing marriage and kids, we were both certain thats what we want,everything seemed to be going fine.We talked to my parents about our plans,it was on its way,i just wanted to land a decent job as i graduated university 2 years ago, and wanted to be able to take care of her completely (she wouldnt have to work)but as the economy would have it,it wasnt the case.I started feeling like a failure in life, didnt know what to do,she sensed that in me,and started being more distant.She started not greeting my friends or family,which was very embarrasing them asking me what is wrong with her,started using her facebook and all sorts of other social media constantly, we stoped going for dinners or out just the 2 of us,there always friends with us,we stoped holding hands in public,just stop caring i guess.Looking back there many mistakes which i had made,many that she made,i always wanted to sit and talk to her and tried many many times,only to receice a brash off and her running to the bedroom slamming the door.As time went by,things got worse, i started going out alot with my friends,coming home late,her going out with her friends dancing with random guys,which upset me alot,We both needed intervention or a talk,but it never came. Well two weeks ago she said she is moving out and thats that,i asked her to talk to me, lets work things out,she said she cant,she needs her space to clear her head. I was furious she moved out only taking 2 bags with her, a week later i tried to call her,she did not answer,like 15 times, i send her messages asking her to come home lets sit talk,give our love another chance,i begged pleaded reasoned,apoligised etc. all the DONTS, to no avail.sShe said let me be needing space doesnt mean breaking up.So i had some hope even though i was angry.I gave her few more days and decided to call her so she can give me a time frame as to when are gona sit and talk,instead she told me she is with someone else and she is happy now, and i must leave her alone...wtf? Needed space bs...was probably testing the grounds with her knight in shining armour... I got very upset depressed angry ,cant sleep cant eat,lost atleast 12 kg (6.5ps) Even then i asked her to meet me somewhere where we can talk and have some closure, its 9 years after all.She did not want that she just kept on saing leave alone im happy now.So i told her in that case to come and collect the rest of her belongings which were alot,she acted as if she didnt need them anymore,she said it cant be that much there,she didnt even have the decency to collect them or say a final good bye, i had to go through all her staff and pack it she send a driver to fetch it.I even offered to drop it by her she refused to tell me where she lives now,as if ill go and stalk her haha come on. Just cant believe it,i know i have made mistakes ,im only human, i learn what to do and what works and what doesnt, i dont just give up and run. Im very upset and depresses right now,feel fragile and feel that i could never trust or love another. Last night i send her an sms saying I hope you are happy with your new relationship,hopefully it all works out for you,you deserve to find happiness in life, dont give up on your dreams.Then she replied you make me happy when you say thing like that,and hope you are ok.Then i thought about it and decided thats it then i send her this "we both need to find ourselves,as we lost touch of who we are,who knows what the future holds,i need to do things for myself and so do you,if one day our paths cross so be it, if not thats ok too,we both deserve happiness wherever that might be,its my way to make peace with myself and with the person who i shared a big part of my life with(you),wish you to be happy and to succeed in life." No reply ,really...? Is it that difficult to say good bye or good ridens or whatever so i can have some closure,or is it that i have become the back up guy now,really hard fellas had enough. Thank you for reading sorry for the essay,tried to make it as short as possible.
Freshstart637 Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 This is sounds like my story. We bought a house last year and were together for 4 and something years. Was supposed to be our 5th year last Wednesday. By this time I'm so over explaining the relationship. Send me a message if you need to talk to someone. Sorry that this has happened to you as well.
NavyAirTraffic Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 Ok, just read the whole thing. You can never contact her again, NEVER! Those texts you send mean NOTHING to her now!! I'm sitting outside at work and this fly keeps landing on me and buzzing by my head, this is the impact of your texts to her. I don't care what you think, she's with someone else and you/your texts are an annoying fly that she wants gone but keeps annoying her. Yes that is harsh but it is also the truth. 9 years is a looong time and you've got a looooonger road ahead of you. First thing is to grow a pair and never contact her again. This is for YOU, YOU won't beg/contact someone that doesn't want to be with you, YOU aren't going to chase someone who is with someone else, YOU have high self worth and texting someone like her only devalues you. What did you expect from your texts/contacts?? Her to think "wow, I told him to leave me alone but him not listening TO WHAT I'M TELLING HIM makes me love him again". Your girlfriend of 9 years is dead, maybe temporary, but right now she's gone. Let that sink in and stop contacting her/wanting to see her. Nothing good will come of it. 1
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