OCCDAVE Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 Would contacting my ex wife set me back in healing .i won't bs I still miss her and I think I always will .this year has been crap for me for many reasons.I guess since our one year since we split is coming up if nothing else I've had time to think of what I did .truth I treated her like crap and took her for granted which I regret .guess I was trying to get some kind of closure then again would I even get it ?
Ginaa Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 yes it definitly would set your healing promise back,because then all the memories you once had will surely come back to you. Only speak to her,if you are really eager to try and get her back.. 1
River Rain Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 Breaking nc will start your healing process from square one again. It's really tough to do, but be strong. Is it absolutely over? Personally, I think that the idea of closure is just an outward way of wanting to hang on. If you contact her and it goes badly and you don't get the answers you want, you'll feel worse than ever. If you do get your closure, will it really make you feel better, or will you need more answers? I never got "closure" from the ex, never really knew why he did what he did, and for a while there it drove me nuts not knowing. But sometimes there is no answer to the questions we ask, so it's best to just keep moving ahead. 4
Author OCCDAVE Posted October 24, 2012 Author Posted October 24, 2012 Well to be honest with you ya it's been over .just think as crazy as this sounds maybe reason I've had such crappy year is bad karma on how I treated her.dont get me wrong she was no angel but like I said after time has past it was like 95% to 5 my fault not hers .just tough also her birthday is coming up which isn't to far from day hell broke loose for us.Yes your right if she picks up and decides to curse me out like she did 8 months ago ill feel worse .guess other then nc ive maintained not much good has happened
amaysngrace Posted October 24, 2012 Posted October 24, 2012 Anniversaries do that. They make you think back. Just get through it this year without contacting her and next year will be easier. I promise. 2
Author OCCDAVE Posted October 25, 2012 Author Posted October 25, 2012 Plus her birthday isn't to far from when she broke the news then top it off holiday season will be coming up soon ugh.def gonna be crappy next 2 months ahead of me
Author OCCDAVE Posted October 26, 2012 Author Posted October 26, 2012 Any other advice on this I can use more insight :-/
Exit Posted October 26, 2012 Posted October 26, 2012 Stop chasing closure. Most of us don't get the closure we want. It's just a buzz word that we all use to make it sound like there is a reason to contact an ex. I'm not familiar with your story but just picking up the basic timeline you've mentioned here, you said it's almost a year since the two of you split, and that she cursed you out 8 months ago. So that tells me there was already some attempted contact after the split was final and it did not go well. Sounds to me like you're just asking for a second dose of that. I know how it feels to stick to NC and think "I've never been more miserable and I sure am not starting to feel any better". But still, breaking it can just cause much worse pain.
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