dreamstate83 Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 (edited) I spent some time today writing down my thoughts as a way to further ease the troubles of getting over someone. I ended up logging in to my now-old email and setting up an auto responder for if she emails me with the words "I miss you". It's inevitable that it will happen eventually, so here's my auto responder: "Today’s date is 23OCT2012. I’m writing this at 3:26am. This will sit in my documents folder until the time arises - which it will arise. One day, maybe sooner, maybe later in life, you are going to look back and remember how I treated you. I don’t know that you will ever be able to comprehend the sacrifices I made to be with you to be honest, but it’s irrelevant anymore. I was like you once when I was younger. I expected perfection out of my partner and wasn’t willing to budge. I believed that there was a such thing as a 100% perfect person. It’s a sign of inexperience. You see, I have truck loads of experience with relationships. It’s why I know you will try to contact me. You reading this very message should be a sign of my accuracy. I’ve always feared that you would get the “grass is greener” syndrome when things started to become a bit more future-geared with us. You’ve had one long term relationship before me, and it’s one that you fell out of love with. Your mom told me that I was the first serious relationship you’ve ever been in. Often times, she’d ask me to say something to you because “She won’t listen to me Shane, but she will listen to you.”. On to the point of this message. Relationships aren’t always rainbows and sunshine. They require commitment and nurturing. When something seems broken, you talk about it and work together to fix it. You never were very communicative. It wasn’t until you kicked me out of the country that I even knew there was a problem, and even after that it took you all of 3 weeks before you would even tell me what the problem was. In our final discussion, you went as far as to call me bipolar. You’ve never tried to put yourself in my shoes. To be honest, I wasn’t happy the last few months out there at all. I was in a foreign country, with nobody to talk to. Nothing to do. I couldn’t get a job and my health issues were rising. I felt helpless and hopeless. I was at the lowest point personally that I’ve ever been in my entire life. At one point, I noticed you starting to distance yourself from me. It was like my entire world was turned inside out and somehow I got abandoned in the process. I knew we could talk it over and fix whatever was causing problems, and so I asked if you would talk to me when you got home from work one day. You agreed. When you got home from work, you ate the dinner I made you and watched tv, then went to bed. I needed you, and you weren’t there. I was ready to fix the issues and work on whatever it took, but you refused me the opportunity. After the breakup you even undermined my desire to get you a birthday present that meant a LOT to me to do by telling me that it was your money that bought it. You believed I would steal money from my own friends. You believed I didn’t try to get a job. You believed all of these horrible things. Personally, I think you made a choice on your own and then started grabbing at straws to justify it. Combining the fact that you were “MIA” (and every time I asked how you were you would respond “fine”) and all of the other stresses I was under, it’s not hard to imagine why I was on edge. Bipolar? It took all the strength in me to force happiness every now and then. So here we are. You miss me. I guess life without me isn’t quite what you thought it would be, is it? Once upon a time, I would have sacrificed anything for you. In fact, I did. You, however, made sure that it went unnoticed. Unnoticed and unappreciated. As I feared from the day I went out there, you needed more experience in life with relationships before you can settle down with anyone. Nobody is perfect, and even with all of the above gripes I had with you, I was willing to talk through them. It was easier for you to cut and run, however. I don’t hate you because I understand what you were thinking. Like I said before, I was there once. The thing is, I had to make a choice that was not mine. I was forced to move on. I struggled for over a month to get you back, and eventually I gave up. I’m happy now - and I’ve got all the things I wanted to get in Australia. You made a mistake when you left me, and now you have to live with that choice. There are plenty of women that would kill to be with me - and I’m not saying that from an egotistical stance either. You saw the line first hand when we first broke up. I’d rather not be the only one fighting for the relationship. You will never fight for me. You never have. It was always me doing the reaching out. You would never travel the world for anyone. You do not understand love. To you, it’s a business transaction. As soon as the bean counters tell you profits are dropping, you leave instead of creating solutions. I am not interested in your twisted idea of what love is. I really don’t know what else to say here. I know this letter probably comes off as being hurtful and biased, but in the end it’s the utter truth. It’s the cold hard reality check that you need. The next time you meet someone you think that you love, ask yourself something. Would you travel the world to be with him? Would you fight for the relationship when times get hard? Would you talk to him about how you feel? Would you give him a chance to discuss what’s happening? Ironically, those are all the things i did for you. At the end of the book, I want you to be happy. Our relationship was nothing more than a stepping stone for you to learn from. Don’t cheapen the already low cost truth of it by not learning anything. You were everything to me once, but now? Now you are just a memory. A memory that will eventually fade into the archives of my history. What I need in my life is someone who will fight for me, and be at my side. Someone that tries as hard as I do to make things work. Someone that cares and understands as much as I do. You miss me. So then I have only one question for you: Am I worth fighting for?" Now I don't even have to try to handle it if she ends up trying to contact me down the road (which she will). I feel like I set off a proximity mine of truth. I'm also doing this in case for whatever reason I'm too weak or tired to handle it properly. Edited October 23, 2012 by dreamstate83 1
sweetkiwi Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 sounds like your ex is my current boyfriend.... You said all the things i need to say, if or when it ends. I know your pain. I know your hunger. Your desire for your partner to be your partner! To work together like a real couple! Its so hard on the one doing all the heavy lifting.
Jono85 Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 dude i didn't even have to read this to know it's pathetic. this is what nice guys do, and i'm guessing part of the reason ur not together with her anymore/she lost her attraction for u. this is an essay. whether u want to get her back, or u don't want her back anymore, this is terrible. like gibson said, this is great for YOURSELF. never reveal such vulnerabilities to a female. why? b/c it's a femail trait, and hence an attraction killer.
Recommended Posts