irc333 Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 There was a thread here about dating people who are more homebodies, and they thought it would be a "bad" thing. I saw this profile of a woman who said that she's the type who can NEVER sit still, always on the movie. I actually knew a woman, when I would discuss movies with her, she said she could never sit down through an entire movie, she was always "on the go" physically she is NEVER idle. She's a rock climber, runs marathons, everything she does involved some sort of strenous activity. THough, I like to stay in shape, even I couldn't do something like that continuously, but on her dating site.....she mentioned she was looking for an "activity" partner, more so than a date, and if you come on TOO strong, she WILL bail. Have you know people like this? Were they annoying, or were you able to keep up with them?
lilyblue Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 This is me - at first I thought you might be describing my profile. But I definitely don't say I will bail. I even have the same movie issue as the other woman. I don't like to think I'm annoying... But I do think that similar energy levels are important in relationships in order to not exhaust one partner or make the other go stir crazy. 1
Ninjainpajamas Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 I'm not much a runner especially after four knee surgeries, one on my foot, three epidurals in my back like a pregnant woman and countless other injuries that didn't require surgeries from the abuse that I have put my body through over the span of my life, yet I would still be very inclined to date someone who is active, as I like to be outdoors. I've spoken to a few of these women over the course of dating but never actually had a relationship or dated one when it came down to it, but that was for other reasons. In a nutshell I find that appealing that a woman cares about her health and would rather be active than sit around all of the time as I get a lot of enjoyment over using my body (hey now). I'm not sure how never being able to sit still would bode, I would like to be active but I'm not sure I'd want to be all of the time but I'd definitely give it a try and meet her as an activity partner...I think that's kind of a good idea in a way, I don't like the expectation factor of dating either and I'm not going to grope a woman just because I find her attractive, I wouldn't mind meeting her and just making a mutual activity partner that I had someone to do something with when It's something I'm up for...It's not like I have to live my life the way she does hers because she chooses it...lots of women are even OCD and that can be a bit overwhelming at times, but It's not like I wouldn't try because of it. With that being said though, I'm an athletic guy who enjoys pushing his body and challenging himself (when I'm not fricken injured), as well as doesn't mind sweating and getting dirty, I actually like when women get sweaty versus seeing it as gross so that's not a turn-off for me, and it can be difficult to find women who like being active because they like to instead of just wanting to lose some weight. In the end I don't know if it would work or not, I don't know what compatibilities I'd have with that person or not, I may not even click with the person otherwise or on other levels, I wouldn't mind she didn't want men to come on strong and use this as a tool to take advantage of the situation and hit on her, I know how guys are, they are too focused on making something happen a lot of the time. For me that's not a problem and I'd enjoy myself regardless of what happened, I don't have those expectations to score or make something happen, if it's there between us it's there, if it's not no big deal...I'm not going to just try to hook-up with her anyway or make something happen.
Author irc333 Posted October 23, 2012 Author Posted October 23, 2012 This is me - at first I thought you might be describing my profile. But I definitely don't say I will bail. I even have the same movie issue as the other woman. I don't like to think I'm annoying... But I do think that similar energy levels are important in relationships in order to not exhaust one partner or make the other go stir crazy. So, let's say you're at work, and water cooler talks of "Hey, did you see the new such and such movie!!" It was awesome! And you find yourself you really can't be a part of said conversation? Do you "get" pop culture references?
Eternal Sunshine Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 Eck, those sorts of people are just as bad as the one that never gets off the couch. Black is just as bad as white, as far as a spectrum's are concerned. Also, as least the couch-potato doesn't push his life style one anyone else. lol. I've delt with fitness instructors, even on fitness model, it never worked out because they're entire life centered around this belief of fitness and activity. Which I agree is very important, but not half as important as just being a good person to begin with, which few of them were. And I hated some of the changes they implemented in my life and fridge with out any consideration for my lifestyle. It became annoying and ridiculous when I literally felt ashamed for wanting something like a cheeseburger every so often. I know what you mean. I had to lock myself in the bathroom to eat a piece of chocolate because it was "banned" in the household. Live and let live I say. I see no problem with eating junk every now and then. It's what you do most of the time that counts.
Author irc333 Posted October 23, 2012 Author Posted October 23, 2012 This woman, I think is kind of out of luck, she is very attractive, does seem to have it together, late 30's. But I think she's new to the rural scene. She mentioned that she want someone with an above average IQ. I almost spit my coffee out, KNOWING that eliminated most single people in the tri-county "Larry the Cable Guy" area Seems like some people had screwed themselves over geographically by moving to an area for the "peace and quiet" but bumping into married or elderly ALL the time. 1
SmileFace Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 I know what you mean. I had to lock myself in the bathroom to eat a piece of chocolate because it was "banned" in the household. Live and let live I say. I see no problem with eating junk every now and then. It's what you do most of the time that counts. You didn't? As an adult you let this happen...ha.
SmileFace Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 Pick your battles... You don't really let it happen, it just does. I wake up, grab some ice for my juice, and bam- ****in' veggie burgers. Open the deli-container, only to find tofu on my cheese! Or the worst, turkey-bacon. it just happens.. lol. 4 months in the relationship, I'm fat-boyin' cheeseburgers on the drive home, and trying to get the burger smell off me. [lmao] oh ****- I smell like Burger King! Turkey-bacon that demon..lol Really one of the worst inventions IMHO. I was just teasing with ES, sadly enough crap like that is pretty common.
lilyblue Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 So, let's say you're at work, and water cooler talks of "Hey, did you see the new such and such movie!!" It was awesome! And you find yourself you really can't be a part of said conversation? Do you "get" pop culture references? Yep, I get pop culture references. I definitely don't live under a rock. But nope, I rarely join in on the movie conversations. Ok, never. I know it's an anomaly, but I just don't like sitting through movies. I'd rather do something.
lilyblue Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 Eck, those sorts of people are just as bad as the one that never gets off the couch. Black is just as bad as white, as far as a spectrum's are concerned. Also, as least the couch-potato doesn't push his life style one anyone else. lol. I've delt with fitness instructors, even on fitness model, it never worked out because they're entire life centered around this belief of fitness and activity. Which I agree is very important, but not half as important as just being a good person to begin with, which few of them were. And I hated some of the changes they implemented in my life and fridge with out any consideration for my lifestyle. It became annoying and ridiculous when I literally felt ashamed for wanting something like a cheeseburger every so often. Well the couch potato pushes their lifestyle on their partner if that's all they want to do, as much as it would be "pushing" the other way around. But, at least in my case, I'm not looking for someone to change. I want them to enjoy doing things. 1
iris219 Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 You described me in the OP, however I would be less active if I had a SO. I'm restless and always on the go partly because I'm bored and lonely and sick of being single. Thank god for Netflix. Going to a theatre is difficult for me because I can't bear to sit that long. When did movies get SO long. I love movies, but have a hard time watching one all at once. The strange thing is, I could watch entire movies with my ex because I liked being near him so much. When I'm involved with someone I really care for, my ADD miraculously improves. 1
tman666 Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 What may seem crazy or unreasonable to one person may make perfect sense to another. I look at some of my physique/bodybuilding competitor friends and think to myself "man, I would hate to do what they do. Here I am enjoying this cold beer and this delicious pizza, and there they are drinking water and eating asparagus and tilapia every day of the week! It must suck to be them!" But then I remember that they wouldn't be doing it if they didn't love it and didn't have a passion for it. The same can be said of most anyone who strives to perform at a high level in anything. It takes uncommon passion to the point that concept such as "life and relationship balance" can sometimes be thrown on the backburner. If you look at almost anyone who is exceptionally successful at any particular endeavor, most tend to spend what little time and energy they have to socialize with the people around them who are easiest to access and are the most likely to be empathetic to their lifestyle. As silly and shallow as it initially sounds, it makes a lot of sense why athletic/active people seek other athletic/active people as partners. Right or wrong, everyone wants a partner who understands and supports them in their pursuits.
xxoo Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 Many of my family members are like this. When we get together, people are constantly going for a walk--before meals, after meals, just because (because we can't sit still), scheduling activities, and fitting in our runs in between. So, let's say you're at work, and water cooler talks of "Hey, did you see the new such and such movie!!" It was awesome! And you find yourself you really can't be a part of said conversation? Do you "get" pop culture references? That's me, and I often miss pop culture references. I can't say that it has ever been a problem for me! I can discuss this morning's NPR program, and I'd rather talk about that. Like minds find each other.
Author irc333 Posted October 24, 2012 Author Posted October 24, 2012 I can't be with someone who is constantly on the go because I'm not. I wouldn't be able to keep up nor would I want to. It's all about compatibility. You are allowed to have lives outside of each other though (recommended and healthy IMO) so if it's just a few minor areas of incompatibility, such as periodic movie going versus rock climbing, do those respectively with friends Right, I know of couples, where ONE is like the one I mentioned, but he's always waiting at the end of the Tria-Atholon line with some water for her. But this woman, wants him to participate in her high impact activities as well. Where she lives, not sure she's going to find that, a lot of laid back country boys.
january2011 Posted October 24, 2012 Posted October 24, 2012 I used to have a strong case of "can't-sit-still-itis" but I've never really been athletic or sporty. Rather, I channelled my energy into social and leisure activities that were non-sporty. My ex was very active and sporty and while we managed to rack up 10+ years, I think that over time, we became less compatible because he kept up his activities and I didn't. It wasn't until we broke up that I filled my life up again with things to do.
todreaminblue Posted October 24, 2012 Posted October 24, 2012 (edited) There was a thread here about dating people who are more homebodies, and they thought it would be a "bad" thing. I saw this profile of a woman who said that she's the type who can NEVER sit still, always on the movie. I actually knew a woman, when I would discuss movies with her, she said she could never sit down through an entire movie, she was always "on the go" physically she is NEVER idle. She's a rock climber, runs marathons, everything she does involved some sort of strenous activity. THough, I like to stay in shape, even I couldn't do something like that continuously, but on her dating site.....she mentioned she was looking for an "activity" partner, more so than a date, and if you come on TOO strong, she WILL bail. Have you know people like this? Were they annoying, or were you able to keep up with them? activity to me is a date....watching a movie is watching a movie you cant talk during it you dont get to know someone but by being active you do......i enjoy going to the movies not at the moment too restless bu ti have enjoyed going to the movies with partners...i also like activity and i think as far as dating goes you get to see something different when you are active....i prefer walking to running and i dont think i walk fast not at the moment i am injured lol.....for me its fitness or meds...i take the fitness...faith and feel good theory ....i intend to cross train soon......i wouldnt force anyone to cross train with me who didnt want to ... i would hope a date might consider a walk with me occasionally so i can enjoy company on a walk.....wouldnt expect them to walk with me all the time only if they wanted to....kick boxing and boxing is fun with two...because i have not worked out how to wear both focus pads and gloves by myself..and i am waiting for my son to set my bag up out the back..one hand focus pad one hand glove...pretty pointless...my son was going to train with me......he is now working so he cant.....sad face....lol......honestly its all give and take activity is good in moderation on dates.........deb Edited October 24, 2012 by todreaminblue
Author irc333 Posted October 24, 2012 Author Posted October 24, 2012 I used to have a strong case of "can't-sit-still-itis" but I've never really been athletic or sporty. Rather, I channelled my energy into social and leisure activities that were non-sporty. My ex was very active and sporty and while we managed to rack up 10+ years, I think that over time, we became less compatible because he kept up his activities and I didn't. It wasn't until we broke up that I filled my life up again with things to do. I know people who had never been in a certain hobby/activity before...when they started dating someone...they'd start to take u THAT person's hobby...and friends are like "What? I never seen you in a kayak before, thought you were afraid of alligators?!" And she'd shrug and go, "Meh, I changed my mind" Nah, she just did it because HE did it.
january2011 Posted October 24, 2012 Posted October 24, 2012 I know people who had never been in a certain hobby/activity before...when they started dating someone...they'd start to take u THAT person's hobby...and friends are like "What? I never seen you in a kayak before, thought you were afraid of alligators?!" And she'd shrug and go, "Meh, I changed my mind" Nah, she just did it because HE did it. In nearly all my relationships, I've introduced new interests to my partner and vice versa. I don't think it's a bad thing to influence each other in that way, especially if it means having more shared experiences. Having said that, sometimes the new interests stick and sometimes they don't. The minimum aim is to try, in my opinion. I like variety and new experiences, and try to choose men who feel the same way. If someone enjoys the new activity, does it really matter how it all started? And shouldn't friends try to be supportive rather than cynical and critical?
grkBoy Posted October 24, 2012 Posted October 24, 2012 I usually steer clear of any women who aren't in a similar lifestyle. I've met many women who even in their 30s felt staying home and watching a movie is some kind of cardinal sin. They always were going out to bars, clubs, etc...even on weeknights. Seen a few who were also all about hitting the gym, going out all over, etc...they are barely ever at home. I won't knock any of them...but I also know I won't pursue them. Just opposing lifestyles. Being single and "easy on the eyes" doesn't automatically make someone a possibility.
iris219 Posted October 24, 2012 Posted October 24, 2012 I usually steer clear of any women who aren't in a similar lifestyle. I've met many women who even in their 30s felt staying home and watching a movie is some kind of cardinal sin. They always were going out to bars, clubs, etc...even on weeknights. Seen a few who were also all about hitting the gym, going out all over, etc...they are barely ever at home. I won't knock any of them...but I also know I won't pursue them. Just opposing lifestyles. Being single and "easy on the eyes" doesn't automatically make someone a possibility. Many people are like this because being single gets lonely and boring and very depressing. Staying busy helps make it bearable. If I met someone, I'd have no problem staying home more. I'd love to be in a relationship so that I was able to stay home and not feel like I was missing out on meeting someone. 1
grkBoy Posted October 24, 2012 Posted October 24, 2012 Many people are like this because being single gets lonely and boring and very depressing. Staying busy helps make it bearable. I agree with you. It's why I wanted to make it clear that there's nothing wrong with an active social life...just the homebody who feels he/she won't "calm down" enough for them should more think of looking elsewhere. Just meant it wasn't a good match, nothing more.
todreaminblue Posted October 24, 2012 Posted October 24, 2012 You described me in the OP, however I would be less active if I had a SO. I'm restless and always on the go partly because I'm bored and lonely and sick of being single. Thank god for Netflix. Going to a theatre is difficult for me because I can't bear to sit that long. When did movies get SO long. I love movies, but have a hard time watching one all at once. The strange thing is, I could watch entire movies with my ex because I liked being near him so much. When I'm involved with someone I really care for, my ADD miraculously improves. my ex used to call me his groover because he would be watching a movie and i would be doing aerobics with headphones plugged into a computer i would be doing that between writing poems on the computer.he didnt mind so much i had a restless spirit.......the fact is i could have been out walking or exercising in the outdoors i preferred to be with him ...i just couldn't sit and watch a movie......i would at times curl up next to him and just chill i enjoy that but not all the time......i do settle a little in a relationship because i enjoy spending time with an so and i dont expect them to change for me i dont think someone would be truly happy changing me either.....deb
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