tori0001 Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 Does it bother lets say if the man you are dating offers to pay for things that you need to have done. Like for instance my client gave me an SUV. Come to find out , it has a short that needs to be traced and fixed. The guy I'm dating has offered to pay for the repairs. He's offered on other things to. I have not taken a dime from him, I wont let him pay. I've been taking care of myself for the last 2 years, and it bothers me he wants to pay for everything. His intentions are good, but I wish he would stop that. Maybe I'm strange about it, but I can't take his money. Other peoples thoughts on this, thanks.
mammasita Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 Have you let him know that this bothers you and you'd rather he not do it?
Author tori0001 Posted October 23, 2012 Author Posted October 23, 2012 Yes I have, I've told him a couple of times. I feel intimidated because he his financially set. I told him if I where to accept his help, I would not want him to think less of me, I can do things on my own. I guess it makes him feel good. He says to me I would never want you to feel alone. I guess it's me and my insecurities. 2
mammasita Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 On the flip side, he might be "buying" your love. How is his relationship history? You say you are just dating, are you in an exclusive relationship? How long have you known him? I would feel uncomfortable too, especially if I had just met the guy. If he's not responsive to your requests for him to stand down, I would say you are right to feel weird and I'd go one step further and say that he's consciously or unconsciously trying to put you in a position where it would be hard for you to walk away from him.
sweetkiwi Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 nothing to do with insecurities. Or you! Some people just love with money. If you need something they will pay. Thinking its the least they can do for someone they care about. A guy who doesn't want to pay will never offer it unless he's sure you'd say no. So you be you and he'll be him. Shouldn't bother you though. 1
Author tori0001 Posted October 23, 2012 Author Posted October 23, 2012 We've dating since August. It's not exclusive. I only date one person at a time, and I like him a lot. He feels this need to do this, he says he wants to make me happy. It's not about money, he lived in a paper bag it wouldn't make a difference. 1
Author tori0001 Posted October 23, 2012 Author Posted October 23, 2012 I'm not use to it. Slowly he's breaking me down, where one day I will accept his help.
Pyro Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 Not sure if this is what you said to him, but if not tell him that while you do appreciate his help taking his money makes you feel uncomfortable, but if their ever is a time where you are in a bind then you will consider taking him up on his offer. Wait a sec. is this the same guy that doesn't contact you for days? If so then it sort of explains why he hasn't taken your hint yet.
Author tori0001 Posted October 23, 2012 Author Posted October 23, 2012 Every day we talk via messenger or text, he just ignored 2 phone calls of mine. Which is why I ignored him for 2 days.
Author tori0001 Posted October 23, 2012 Author Posted October 23, 2012 Ty for that. I don't want him to think of me as a I feel sorry for you. I want him to like me for me, as I do him. I'll make a deal with him, if I do accept his help, I will pay him back every last cent.
Author tori0001 Posted October 23, 2012 Author Posted October 23, 2012 Thank you guys for the input. Now I know how to handle this better.
darkmoon Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 you'll regert this at fifty, but on the other hand, he's buying you which is sad 1
Els Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 Different loving/giving styles. That is just how some people express their love, and as long as it is accompanied with other loving gestures that prove that he's not just throwing money at you and instead really cares for you, I'd be fine. But that's me. You're different. Instead of making a big deal out of it, though, my recommendation would be that you appreciate it and reciprocate in a different way. Cook for him, send him little loving gestures throughout the day, put more effort and creativity into sex, etc. If you don't want to, then this R is probably not for you.
Author tori0001 Posted October 23, 2012 Author Posted October 23, 2012 He's coming up to spend 3 days with me, this Fri, Sat, and Sun. I want to do something nice for him.
sweetkiwi Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 exactly. Love is love is love. If i had a lot of money i would be paying for all kinds of fun things for my partner!! And i'm the kind of person who is always buying little gifts for my man. Just knowing your needs are being thought of is great. Let alone someone trying to give you things you need without personal gain!! Thats how it should be. Taking care of eachother in the ways you can.
yessy21 Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 If you dont take it...send him over here... i need a couple of things paid. hehehehhee ... On a serious note though: its okay to keep your walls up but ...once in a while.. lower them a little. Also, he might feel more of a man by paying for stuff. my dad sure does... he even grunts cause he says he feels good taking care of his women. 2
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