Guy frustrating me, move on or just give it time?

[SuezieQ]

I would appreciate the response, neg or positive.

 

So it's been a while since I've been in a relationship, I date but sometimes it's mutual and thanks but not interested. Me and the guy have a mutual friend which is how we met. I didn't remember the first time we met but when all our friends hung out a second time and he was there he remembered. I mean he counted the days since the last time he met me. Needless to say we talked the whole night we were out. Attractions yes, not afraid of PDA, he hugs me, holds my hand, everybody notices when he's staring at me. So it's been about two months, and I have gotten to know him better as a person and he is sensitive, hates judgement and when I try to console him just let him know not to let this stuff get to him. But wow he goes on this rampage pissed off at everyone including me. Then he starts doubting and asking me about my feelings towards him and then the next day he acts like he doesn't remember a thing. Even the questioning about my feelings. And let me not exclude this which I think he holds against me. My car broke down a month ago and I just called him because we had plans later so he came to pick me up take the car to the repair shop. I ended up spending the night with him an in the morning I was stressed, frustrated, and mad about the car and I told him my things are at my parents house because i am in process in moving to my new house but I wasn't comfortable for him taking me to my parents house. It's just a old school up bringing and really I just wasn't ready to get questioned by my mother on THAT day. But he will bring that up when he gets mad. He'll say, "I don't think your ready because I can't even take you to your house". Ugh frustrating! Initially, He asked all the serious questions, what I want in a relationship? Are u attracted to me? Of course I ask my girlfriends and they are 50/50. I need a better perspective. Am I being played? What this guys deal? Why would he need to hold a grudge on me? I am at wits end I told him that he is messing with my feelings and its not cool.

[Leigh 87]

I think it was good for you to let it out and write down your feelings.

 

Now, you need to go and tell HIM all of this.

 

Tell him he things do not change, you cannot be in a relationship with him anymore.

[todreaminblue]

I agree with leigh you need to talk to him, he is upset some males react with anger more angry at the situation than at you particularly maybe.....i wouldnt go with the conflict statement change or else it is combative with a person who is angry you are going to battle i think heading more for the compromise ....can we try talking more before i tends up like this....can we have time out when you are upset so you can calm down and we can talk about it...see how it flows....get him when he is calm not stressed not argumentative but receptive.....

 

 

i have two rules of combat both verbal and physical......(this is just a personal code of mine i share i am not forcing it on you please dont think that i have failed to follow my code that is when problems arise)

 

 

 

 

never hit anyone unless you expect to be hit back and only ever hit in self defense of yourself and others(not saying your argument would turn physical....(but verbal aggression verbally is a few steps away with some)

never go into a verbal with the point of throwing verbal hits..or else change now or i am gone....or your gone...you will get verbally hit back you will probably not like what you hear..............and then its on hit for hit till someone cries uncle if you do it in self defense...it is understandable to lose control no one is perfect.you need to give and take forgiveness...a discussion doesn't always have to be an argument though and a hell of a lot more productive when it is a discussion....try and see how it goes for you.....good luck with you and yours.....deb

[Ninjainpajamas]

This guy for me is already throwing up some significant flags to how he truly is. I think you're getting glimpses of it but not really putting the whole picture together.

 

All these things that he does are only going to get worse or lead to something deeper and more profound, you are seeing the tip of the iceberg, these are things you really need to pay attention to because they will sneak up on you as you become conditioned to his behavior, you need to realize you are molding into his little bubble of attitude and demeanor and that will definitely impact you in a negative way. I can also bet your bottom that this guy is going to be someone who judges as he has a distaste for it so much, you often become what you hate. And also he sensitivity in this circumstance is also a sign to other emotions such as rage and dissatisfaction in his life, which he will surely take out on you...what I'm saying is I think this will be an abusive, and controlling guy, as you get closer he'll wrap you more into it.

 

This resonates from his insecurity and lack of ability to control things in his life. You will have to conform to his insecurity and he will put the weight on your shoulders to disprove them. You'll think this is normal or fine to a degree but the way he's handling it is likely not reasonable, you're just telling yourself it is.

 

He seems like the kind of guy that spins the charm, hits a woman hard with mushy and sensitive rhetoric to appeal to your own sympathies and nurturing instincts and he'll flip the script and become a different guy as her learns your boundaries and what he can get away with it...before you know it you'll be in some weird nonsensical mess that he has created and just slightly exposed to you not to set off any major alarms even though you know something isn't right about it, you underestimate the warnings due to lack of experience.

 

Way too much drama for month two in my opinion, not even sure you're with this guy that you don't even see very into...pickings that slim? in need of a rebound? I think you should look at the situation for what it is and realize what's going on here, pull back and view this objectively...this guy is going to manipulate you bad, I almost have this guys number completely, and If I'm right then you're in for a world of a surprise...because this guys game is drama and locking women into his world, he will drag you down...he's likely obsessive, jealous, insecure, controlling, anger issues, abusive and unpredictably dramatic because of it and he's trying to trap you into his world by twisting the reality and truths...he's going to make you feel like you're doing something wrong even when you're not.