teckno2000 Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 I met a girl at a house party recently we are both in mid 20s. We talked for a while and seemed very friendly. I find her quite attractive. At the end of the night, i asked her to facebook. A few days later, i messaged her the following message on facebook: Hi Maria, it was nice meeting you on Friday. If you are free next weekend, lets meet up and grab a bite to eat. Let me know what time works best for you. My cell # is ********. Talk to you soon:) I know she received my message at a short time later because of the timestamp in yhe facebook messenger. The next day she replied: Hey Steve, nice meeting you too. I wont be able to meet up this coming weekend, I have a friend visiting from out of town..maybe some other time. Hope you have a good week. What do you guys think? Rejection or perhaps a legitimate excuse? How should i proceed? Thank you in advance!
Carenth Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 Sounds like a polite brush off to me. In my experience even if it was a legitimate reason, she would of offered another time she was available to meetup if she was interested.
Author teckno2000 Posted October 23, 2012 Author Posted October 23, 2012 That was my initial hunch. But recently i had similar situation. I met a girl at Whole Foods and we talked for like 30mins at the dining area. I added her to facebook. A week later i ask her the same way as this one. Her response was that this weekend she is working and studying, but she could do it another weekend. I replied by asking her what kind of food she likes and her phone # since facebook messaging is quite inefficient. She never replied. Makes me feel that there are no black and white rules about this.
Carenth Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 Not exactly what I meant generally if they give some vague time in the future it means they are not interested. I know because I have done this myself when letting someone down gently. An example of what I mean is generally in this past when I've set up a date. If they were not available on the day I suggested (but were interested). They would something like "Hey, sorry I'm not available on xxxx day but I'm free on xxxx night if you want too catch up then." Not "maybe some other time" or "another weekend" those are non-committal responses and hence a brush off see the difference?
Ami1uwant Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 That was my initial hunch. But recently i had similar situation. I met a girl at Whole Foods and we talked for like 30mins at the dining area. I added her to facebook. A week later i ask her the same way as this one. Her response was that this weekend she is working and studying, but she could do it another weekend. I replied by asking her what kind of food she likes and her phone # since facebook messaging is quite inefficient. She never replied. Makes me feel that there are no black and white rules about this. There is a big difference n your example to the other posters. If they can't do it this weekend because of a pior commitment they will counteroffer an alternate date or time. If she says I m busy this weekend and nothing else she is brushing you ff.
InJest Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 Why don't you start asking them out while they're right in front of you, instead of asking for their facebook? Asking a girl out via facebook is creepy, especially if they don't know you.
Author teckno2000 Posted October 23, 2012 Author Posted October 23, 2012 I think I will going forward. The asking out via facebook isn't working for me, I am 0 for 2. Oh well. You live and learn!
River Rain Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 It's a brush off. If a guy I really liked asked me out and I really was busy, I would have tried right away to make another date. Plus the "have a good week" statement meaning she has no intention of getting back in touch with you. And furthermore, you gave her your number, but she chose to message you back...the cowardly brush off. Too bad she wasn't just direct, but from what you've indicated, I wouldn't have much hope in meeting up with her. I'd let this one go.
Author teckno2000 Posted October 23, 2012 Author Posted October 23, 2012 I did respond to her message: "No worries. Hope you guys have fun:) I'll be out apartment hunting this weekend so wish me luck. Hope your week is good too. Its one day closer to Friday!" I'd rather have an akward coversation and face rejection right away vs. waiting and analyzing her facebook messages!!! Oh well. 1
rocketman122 Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 what ever happened to asking a girl for her telephone number. and not for texting her to go on a date. im talking about getting it and calling. why all the indirect conversation/courting? no wonder woman dont take you seriously. its like men are scared to be men and to be straightforward. like she'll throw a shoe at you for asking for her number. I like a girl, I ask her out. doing it through facebook is a puwssy way to go about it. unless youre really young. seems to be young guys forgot how to be men. 2
Author teckno2000 Posted October 23, 2012 Author Posted October 23, 2012 Agreed. I've been off the dating scene for 7 years, (Long term Relationship, I am 28). No more facebook dates!!!! Lesson learned;) 1
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