Love is the only thing keeping us together... is it enough?

[NicolesWay]

We've been together for 3 years. During those three years we seriously broke up once and didnt talk for three months. During those three months he pursued me; and he called, texted, came to my house but I refused to talk to him and he took refuge under another girl. We got back together in June and all we do is fight. We fight over everything. Earlier during a fight I told him I love him more then anything in this world but I dont like him and he looked at me and told me the only reason he was here was because he loved me. Those three months we didnt talk were hell for me.

 

Love is the only thing keeping us together. We have a unique bond; we've been through hell and back (miscarriages, him going to jail for a DUI and other things) and honestly his conduct throughout these situations has made me dislike him which causes me to be a complete bitch to him and causes us to fight.

 

I guess I just dont know how to let it go... or if I should let it go because I feel blessed to have been able to experience someone loving me unconditionally and I dont know if I can find that any where else. Im scared if I leave I'll regret it.

 

Should I leave and just deal with the heartbreak. Or should I try to work it out? I just dont know if love is enough anymore...

[Calico]

Whatever it is that keeps you together, I'd question that it's love. Words and phrases that come to mind are "comfort", "being used to one another", "difficulties of letting go", "fear of the finality", "dread of being alone", and so on.

 

What he's doing isn't "unconditional love", it's more like obsession. If he loved you unconditionally, he'd not have continued pestering you when you didn't want contact, and you certainly wouldn't have these exhausting battles with one another. What you do is not loving him either, because your renewed interest in him seemed to have been triggered by him being with another girl when you suddenly remembered that you "love him more than anything". Jealousy maybe, possessiveness perhaps. Not love.

 

All of this really strikes me as just mutual, addictive clinging. Love doesn't feel bad, and all of this sounds like a tedious struggle that serves neither of you.

[Leigh 87]

I would never take my partner back once he took refuge in another women.

 

After that, everything changes; your no longer the only women he can be with. He has the capacity to be with someone else.

 

Before I got serious with my partner I even let him get hookers. But once your serious with someone, you should be the only women they can be with sexually and, and the only women they can be deeply emotionaly invested in.

 

It will never be the same after this women. I would cut my losses and go through the short term pain, in order for long term gain.

 

In the long run, you will find a man who only has eyes for you and cannot bring himself to be with other women EVEN if you have a break due to difficult circumstaces.

 

There are men out there that will not look elsewhere even if you go through the most difficult of times.

[KatZee]

Nope. Love is not enough. As much as romantic comedy's and Disney movies like to tell us, it isn't.

 

You can love someone who is completely wrong for you.

 

Why do you think women (or sometimes men) stay with their emotional, physical and mental abusers? They love them.

 

It's so common for people to fall in love and stay with people who aren't right for them, who aren't good for them.

 

The constant fighting between you two is just dysfunction. It's not healthy. How can you say you love him but not even like him? That's the biggest oxymoron.

 

I think you're in love, and hoping to get back "what was." But what was, is long gone, and I don't think it's coming back. What you have now, that's the relationship.

 

Are you happy? Are you satisfied and content with life? I'm guessing it's a big fat NO to all of those things.

 

In reality, love is not enough. There is much more that has to be going on.