foretale Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 For me If you like each other and its mutual... wouldn't it be acceptable to see each other a couple times a week. And also in this should the date setups be mutual From recent history if I really like the girl i wanna spend lots of time with her. So say we go out on a first date, and it goes really well. Is there anything wrong with setting something up within the next 4 days sort of thing... or would the average person consider this coming on way too strong... I just got dumped by the last girl I dated and I've gotta feeling this could be one of the reasons Im so confused! background -I'm a 20 years old man and just started dating
dasein Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 IMO, no more than one date per week in the first month. You should both be evaluating whether the other is worthy of your valuable time, despite the butterflies. After the first month, twice a week, but no extended three day weekends of constant contact until an exclusive relationship is in place, you are both on the same page and both know it. People get all up each other's tails way too quickly and then the sex overshadows any glaring compatibility problems, then the bad behavior from either end starts three months in. Have made the mistake of too much early contact often, especially when good sex is involved, it is a hard habit to kick. If you can start off dating with a cooler, more selective attitude about the first month at least, it will serve you well your whole dating life in screening out undesirables and keeping you sane. Good luck.
Author foretale Posted October 23, 2012 Author Posted October 23, 2012 IMO, no more than one date per week in the first month. You should both be evaluating whether the other is worthy of your valuable time, despite the butterflies. After the first month, twice a week, but no extended three day weekends of constant contact until an exclusive relationship is in place, you are both on the same page and both know it. People get all up each other's tails way too quickly and then the sex overshadows any glaring compatibility problems, then the bad behavior from either end starts three months in. Have made the mistake of too much early contact often, especially when good sex is involved, it is a hard habit to kick. If you can start off dating with a cooler, more selective attitude about the first month at least, it will serve you well your whole dating life in screening out undesirables and keeping you sane. Good luck. thats actually really interesting you bring up sex because the first weekend "with the last girl i referred too" we had sex on the first date and then stayed at her place the second night probably not ideal for setting up a long lasting relationship is what im getting from the experience... nevertheless thanks for the feedback, I can see your points. How often would you contact the person within the first month?
todreaminblue Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 For me If you like each other and its mutual... wouldn't it be acceptable to see each other a couple times a week. And also in this should the date setups be mutual From recent history if I really like the girl i wanna spend lots of time with her. So say we go out on a first date, and it goes really well. Is there anything wrong with setting something up within the next 4 days sort of thing... or would the average person consider this coming on way too strong... I just got dumped by the last girl I dated and I've gotta feeling this could be one of the reasons Im so confused! background -I'm a 20 years old man and just started dating i dont think dating should conform as every situation is different i think it should go by what feels right i think quality of dates is important more so than quantity......i think it should be mutually discussed between the daters and not by anyone else's say so with an eye to keeping it fun and not turn into a chore.....quality goes a long way in little time......if you dont have quality dates no quantity can fix it more or less........that means once a week or twice a week or more....it just has to be meaningful thoughtful and fun .keeps the creative juices running..aka quality date...normally less is more..but everyone is different.....smilin.... have i confused you ...dont worry i confused me too...you and your date pick......thats the best option....good luck to you and yours and dates........deb
Author foretale Posted October 23, 2012 Author Posted October 23, 2012 i dont think dating should conform as every situation is different i think it should go by what feels right i think quality of dates is important more so than quantity......i think it should be mutually discussed between the daters and not by anyone else's say so with an eye to keeping it fun and not turn into a chore.....quality goes a long way in little time......if you dont have quality dates no quantity can fix it more or less........that means once a week or twice a week or more....it just has to be meaningful thoughtful and fun .keeps the creative juices running..aka quality date...normally less is more..but everyone is different.....smilin.... have i confused you ...dont worry i confused me too...you and your date pick......thats the best option....good luck to you and yours and dates........deb Yeah I agree with you as well... communication is key
dasein Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 How often would you contact the person within the first month? Usually only to ask out on dates, but this can be really hard when the girl is giving signs she wants to talk to you for hours on end. Try to have a legitimately full life, keep several prospects in the bucket in the early going, don't be afraid to next one. If she wants sex early, you pretty much have to give it to her, but if you start out with a cooler, "I'm not desperate and horny" vibe, they will respect you more in time. Another thing is something salesmen all learn early or suffer for it. Even if a prospect seems willing to talk to you all the livelong day, they can still get bored of too much early contact. Be the guy they are hoping will call, not the guy they know is going to, and you will go far.
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