kaptain Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 Well hello there new to the site but have been around here before reading some stuff but never signed up.Sorry is this is a long post will try to make it as short as i can thanks for the advice in advance. Well i have known my ex from when she was a teen 16 years old and i was 18 at the time.It started off great we clicked so much like as we both said like nobody before us she touched my heart and i did hers.As time move on we had 3 kids a boy and girl and one that didnt make it .It all has been going good up untill a few years back when this myspace facebook stuff came around when all our problems started.She left this year around march she meet someone on there and left me for him,so i went out started dating and just random stuff then i found a female i was into alot so we started a relationship and the ex found out and came back and i let her super easy the first time she called i think that was wrong to do and should have put up more of a fight she was only gone for 2 months so she came back in june. So she convinced me i was the problem i went and seen a doctor and it came back i had Generalized anxiety disorder and i got help for that.So it was great for awhile the sex was great emotions was all there was going out doing more stuff just me and her on dates and we did alot more family stuff also.It was good till about 2months ago when she started to become distant again emotions wasnt there sex was there like once a week (and it had a set day time and all bs) so one day we built a firepit out back of the house and had a bonfire with the kids and me and her drank some wine had a good time with the family.I went to sleep got up middle of the night couldnt go back to sleep went and got on the pc and she forgot to sign out of facebook so i seen message pop up left and right as soon as i popped a seat.Some of them was Mwahs and naughty pics of her sent out to guys,she was also in a naughty facebook group room so i went to bed pissed that night. So woke the next morn and asked why is she being so distant why do you bitch at everything i do she said it was nothing i did it was her so i asked about what i saw on the screen and she said it was nothing like i thought it was and none of my bizz cause i didnt trust her is the reason i was tripping.So everything from that point i bring up would cause a yelling match no matter what from her cause she said i didnt trust her and my words was im trying to figure if i should trust you if you doing me dirty behind my back.So about 2 weeks ago she left called it quits then last night she pops up on my facebook with a message saying she with the guy from her fb page and that she slept with him friday so i was pissed but what could i do so i was like yep have fun bye.I want my family to be whole again i dont want the bs the drama none of that so what can i do remember we have kids 7 and 5 years old.I forgot to say im 28 and she is 26.
VeveCakes Posted October 23, 2012 Posted October 23, 2012 You don't want the bs or the drama then let her go. You are better off alone. 1
Author kaptain Posted October 23, 2012 Author Posted October 23, 2012 Is there anyway to work it out and keep all the bs away.I love my family and will do anything thats why i went and seen the Dr. and got put on meds but even the Dr. said i could still be moody time to time but she says i have no trust i want to control her and watch her every move and i dont i just like the small little things cuddling kissing sex lil i love you text and stuff and i get none of that or got none of that she would bitch if i asked to cuddle or a kiss.
Author kaptain Posted October 24, 2012 Author Posted October 24, 2012 any one care to help me out pls.
standtall Posted October 24, 2012 Posted October 24, 2012 Yes kaptain. 1. You need to use punctuation in long posts. Nobody here is an English professor, so you don't have to be perfect, but that first post was a headache to read. That is the number one reason why people ignored it. 2. Sorry to say, but your wife has checked out. If you read the forum here then you will quickly realize that in situations similar to yours, the chances are pretty slim that your going to reconcile. She has to want to do it as well..you can't force her to. The best way to do so is to make yourself more attractive to her..be that dude that she fell in love with originally. Also, you have to follow that 180, don't be a beta male p***Y, no boot licking check list because women do not love men they do not respect. I don't know the rest, but I am sure other posters will help.
Author kaptain Posted October 25, 2012 Author Posted October 25, 2012 Sorry for that i understand, but sometime's when my heart get's pumping fast as of late i rush stuff again sorry.
Cb3657 Posted October 25, 2012 Posted October 25, 2012 Man I am so sorry to hear this but you have to understand that most of the folks who have had serious betrayal happen to them on this site have had someone say to them that it was their issue and about trust. If you have trust she will allow you to access her Facebook or other communication means, if there is nothing to hide then trust is automatic and not a big deal. It sounds like she is doing things you would have a problem with, if she is not active she is a least pushing boundaries then making you feel like a mental patient for feeling uneasy. so many men and women take a appeasement tact to save their marriage or help the kids. I can tell you from personal experience that when someone is being a doormat kids might agree that there is a wrong being committed but they also recognize that people who act like victims get treated like victims. I will always remember seeing my dad as weak even though I knew my mother was in the wrong, I thought " he is so weak, she is right to treat him poorly" I now regret this horribly but don't allow yourself to be a doormat. Remember you walked in as a equal you can walk out the same way.
Author kaptain Posted October 25, 2012 Author Posted October 25, 2012 TY well she called yesterday so we could swap a few things ( it didn't happen it turned into a scream fest from her end ). I told her i could drop the things off she wanted in the am on the doorstep cause me and her cant even be civil right now no matter how hard i try.I knew in my heart and mind something was going on and she told me yesterday i couldn't tell you why that she has had intercourse with the guy i thought she had it with while we was together and when we split also and they are a couple.Again i have no idea why she told me this cause i didn't ask and could careless really but it just proves my point and case that she was doing something wrong.So here's my new question why does she still try to make me sad like the bad guy even tho she admitted she was in the wrong?
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